Uncovered Medical

[nemom3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado (original order in Colorado, moved jurisdiction to Nebraska 3 years ago... and then got to move back to Colorado - jurisdition has not been moved back yet)

This may seem a bit selfish BUT I would really like to know what the "right" thing is in this instance. The non-custodial parent has another child who keep destroying our sons glasses. Should I be responsible for 1/2 of the new ones. In the last year my ex's 'other son' has literally destroyed 3 pairs of our son's glasses. The other two times I just sucked it up and went and got him new glasses (as it was fairly close to when they would have been replaced anyway) and sent him the bill for him to pay his half as per our order.
The last time the glasses would have cost us $650 without insurance (son has VERY bad eyesight) thankfully with insurance it was only $150. I just got a call that the little monster did it again. Insurance will only cover one pair a year so should I really have to pay for 1/2 of them again or am I correct in expecting him to replace them this time as he cannot seem to teach this other boy to not touch things that don't belong to him. Just an FYI son has worn glasses for 6 years now and in that time has never actually broken a pair himself not even while playing football!

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado (original order in Colorado, moved jurisdiction to Nebraska 3 years ago... and then got to move back to Colorado - jurisdition has not been moved back yet)

This may seem a bit selfish BUT I would really like to know what the "right" thing is in this instance. The non-custodial parent has another child who keep destroying our sons glasses. Should I be responsible for 1/2 of the new ones. In the last year my ex's 'other son' has literally destroyed 3 pairs of our son's glasses. The other two times I just sucked it up and went and got him new glasses (as it was fairly close to when they would have been replaced anyway) and sent him the bill for him to pay his half as per our order.
The last time the glasses would have cost us $650 without insurance (son has VERY bad eyesight) thankfully with insurance it was only $150. I just got a call that the little monster did it again. Insurance will only cover one pair a year so should I really have to pay for 1/2 of them again or am I correct in expecting him to replace them this time as he cannot seem to teach this other boy to not touch things that don't belong to him. Just an FYI son has worn glasses for 6 years now and in that time has never actually broken a pair himself not even while playing football!

I would certainly ask for ex to pay for it. Conceivably, you might be able to win a small claims case, but I can't even guess what your odds would be. Proving it would be a problem, of course.

 

[LdiJ]

I would certainly ask for ex to pay for it. Conceivably, you might be able to win a small claims case, but I can't even guess what your odds would be. Proving it would be a problem, of course.

I am not sure that I would even "ask". I think that I would simply tell the ex that this time he has to pay for the new glasses himself and why...in a very calm and civil, but firm, manner.

However, unless this is happening while the glasses are on your son's face, you also need to teach your son to put the glasses in a safe place where his brother cannot access them.

 

[Proserpina]

However, unless this is happening while the glasses are on your son's face, you also need to teach your son to put the glasses in a safe place where his brother cannot access them.

I absolutely agree. Kiddo is at least 6 years old - plenty old enough to take care of his specs

 

[nemom3]

Son just turned 11. Unfortunately the first two times he was actually wearing them when the monster grabbed them. This last time he told me (and dad thankfully) that he was asleep and the kid snuck into his "room" (actually a corner of the unfinished basement) and took them off his nightstand. Needless to say the boy has no respect for our son or his things (which is usually why the kids don't bring anything they actually care about to dad's house).
Dad called and said he had them "welded back together".... and apparently this incident has broken the camel's back again our girls decided to tell dad they want to come home, so hearing they are "fixed" (and am I being to horribly materialistic if I hope they don't look like BC glasses now?!) he goes on to say the girls want to come home so you need to come pick them up. I will NEVER understand him!!! I wouldn't give up a minute with them if I didn't have to!

 

[mistoffolees]

Son just turned 11. Unfortunately the first two times he was actually wearing them when the monster grabbed them. This last time he told me (and dad thankfully) that he was asleep and the kid snuck into his "room" (actually a corner of the unfinished basement) and took them off his nightstand. Needless to say the boy has no respect for our son or his things (which is usually why the kids don't bring anything they actually care about to dad's house).
Dad called and said he had them "welded back together".... and apparently this incident has broken the camel's back again our girls decided to tell dad they want to come home, so hearing they are "fixed" (and am I being to horribly materialistic if I hope they don't look like BC glasses now?!) he goes on to say the girls want to come home so you need to come pick them up. I will NEVER understand him!!! I wouldn't give up a minute with them if I didn't have to!

Then simply demand payment. If ex won't pay, then take it to small claims court. You may also be able to file for a restraining order to keep the kid away from your child.

 

[Proserpina]

Son just turned 11. Unfortunately the first two times he was actually wearing them when the monster grabbed them. This last time he told me (and dad thankfully) that he was asleep and the kid snuck into his "room" (actually a corner of the unfinished basement) and took them off his nightstand. Needless to say the boy has no respect for our son or his things (which is usually why the kids don't bring anything they actually care about to dad's house).
Dad called and said he had them "welded back together".... and apparently this incident has broken the camel's back again our girls decided to tell dad they want to come home, so hearing they are "fixed" (and am I being to horribly materialistic if I hope they don't look like BC glasses now?!) he goes on to say the girls want to come home so you need to come pick them up. I will NEVER understand him!!! I wouldn't give up a minute with them if I didn't have to!

Yeah, you know I get that you're really frustrated.

But would you mind not referring to this child as a monster?

 

[The_Non-Mom]

How old is "the monster"? Is this a toddler we are talking about? Because this sounds like very typical toddler behavior (grabbing things, not "respecting" property). I certainly hope your children have a clue about normal kid behavior, even if you don't.

 

[Nevergrowup]

How old is "the monster"? Is this a toddler we are talking about? Because this sounds like very typical toddler behavior (grabbing things, not "respecting" property). I certainly hope your children have a clue about normal kid behavior, even if you don't.

I agree with not calling him "monster" and don't understand why you put "other son" in quotation marks?

However...I a very curious as to how old this kid is. If he is 2, well then...but if he is 4, 5, 6...SOMEONE isn't teaching him properly. I could understand broken pair number one, but dealt with correctly and there should never have been a second breaking...I have 4 kids, all of whom have grabbed things that weren't theirs when toddlers. Not one has purposely damaged property past age 2 (my son was quite destructive before that, and don't get me started on the "poop" party the twins had). Age is a big factor here. Regardless of the age, though, the whole cost should be on Dad.

Collecting is a different matter. My ex lost my daughter's retainer. He put it in his own pocket and lost it. Guess who ended up paying for the whole replacement? Yep, ME. Fair, right?

 

[nemom3]

Sorry I am very frustrated. I have no idea why I quoted other son... just trying not to use his name and the nickname our kids use IS "Monster" -the other one I let them know in no uncertain terms was not polite and should not be used even if it IS true.
He just turned 6 - normal toddler behavior I understand, I lived through those stages with our 3! His toddler stages included biting, scratching and punching which left HUGE bruises on our son (by the way these all managed to be explained away to CPS and courts as 'normal toddler behavior' and something to be taken care of by parents ) so I doubt a restraining order is going to be granted at this point.
Thank you very much for the advice. I guess I will just have to have another talk with Dad and let him know it is not acceptable for his son to continually inconvenience our son in such a manner. In the meantime I will also beef up his insurance to cover repairs or add a statement to the parenting plan that Dad will be 100% responsible for replacing any necessities that are broken while the children are in his care when we restructure the parenting plan for being in the same state. Thanks again.

 

[Nevergrowup]

Sorry I am very frustrated. I have no idea why I quoted other son... just trying not to use his name and the nickname our kids use IS "Monster" -the other one I let them know in no uncertain terms was not polite and should not be used even if it IS true.
He just turned 6 - normal toddler behavior I understand, I lived through those stages with our 3! His toddler stages included biting, scratching and punching which left HUGE bruises on our son (by the way these all managed to be explained away to CPS and courts as 'normal toddler behavior' and something to be taken care of by parents ) so I doubt a restraining order is going to be granted at this point.
Thank you very much for the advice. I guess I will just have to have another talk with Dad and let him know it is not acceptable for his son to continually inconvenience our son in such a manner. In the meantime I will also beef up his insurance to cover repairs or add a statement to the parenting plan that Dad will be 100% responsible for replacing any necessities that are broken while the children are in his care when we restructure the parenting plan for being in the same state. Thanks again.

Nope. IMO, at age 6, there is no excuse for this. My 4th child is 6. She would never. Ever. Act like that. I've also had a boy, one was quite destructive as a toddler, and there is no way that behavior would have been acceptable. That child is not being corrected appropriately. Just my opinion but you have every right to feel frustration. Adding something to the parenting plan is a good idea, especially if Dad balks at paying 100% this time.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

I am assuming that the 6yo is a half-brother to your children, correct? Are you saying you want a restraining order against the 6yo half-brother? What are you hoping to accomplish here?

And as far as the 6yo's behavior goes, I agree completely that it should be handled by his parents. Just like your childrens' poor attitudes toward their half-brother is something that should be handled by their parent....if it's not too much of an inconvenience to them, that is.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Nope. IMO, at age 6, there is no excuse for this. My 4th child is 6. She would never. Ever. Act like that. I've also had a boy, one was quite destructive as a toddler, and there is no way that behavior would have been acceptable. That child is not being corrected appropriately. Just my opinion but you have every right to feel frustration. Adding something to the parenting plan is a good idea, especially if Dad balks at paying 100% this time.

I agree that the behavior is out of line, but there is nothing OP can do about that. The best thing she can do is teach her children how to best handle themselves when their half-brother acts out instead of getting frustrated with situation.

 

[AlmostThere]

I agree that the behavior is out of line, but there is nothing OP can do about that. The best thing she can do is teach her children how to best handle themselves when their half-brother acts out instead of getting frustrated with situation.

OP can do something.. minimize the damages by buying dirt cheap glasses from one of the many online optical places that start at about $10/pair to be used at visitations.

Or go the to other direction and buy expensive nearly indestructible titanium glasses. I had those when mine were grabby toddlers. I understand this destructive child is 6 - but a very hyperactive 6 year old boy can be a whirling dervish.

If you go with more expensive glasses, you can buy a replacement policy on the glasses.

And teach 11yo son to put the glasses in a hard shelled glass case under his pillow at night.