Unfair for Fathers

[BelizeBreeze]

and, of course, when you got the notice requiring you to appear for a hearing to set child support, you were there with full documentation of your OTHER child support order and your complete financials AND you filed for visitation and custody.....RIGHT?

 

[weenor]

I would agree that the law is HORRIBLY UNFAIR to fathers who sit on their butts and doing nothing for years (like filing through the court) or saving up for an attorney to do so. Keep doing nothing big guy and you'll get exactly what you deserve nothing. (BTW- the kid will eventually figure out that you didn't try, so good luck with the relationship when he/she turns 18.)

 

[Lolopez42]

Unfair

I was stupid and didn't get a lawyer for when this child support order was made. I did, however have documentation of my previous child support order, but the child support officer wouldn't even look at it. As for visitation, I did get a lawyer through the county legal aid and got visitation. The mother of my daughter has money and got a better lawyer. I was granted supervised visits 3 times a week. But because of my place of employment, I was working split shifts (4 hours at work, 2 hours off and then another 4 at work). So we would set up visits usually during my break. Well, I would be asked to stay late at work and then I'd be late for my visits and leave and then she called her lawyer. This happened 3 times in a 5 month period and because of that she was able to have the courts take my visitation rights away.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I was stupid and didn't get a lawyer for when this child support order was made. I did, however have documentation of my previous child support order, but the child support officer wouldn't even look at it. As for visitation, I did get a lawyer through the county legal aid and got visitation. The mother of my daughter has money and got a better lawyer. I was granted supervised visits 3 times a week. But because of my place of employment, I was working split shifts (4 hours at work, 2 hours off and then another 4 at work). So we would set up visits usually during my break. Well, I would be asked to stay late at work and then I'd be late for my visits and leave and then she called her lawyer. This happened 3 times in a 5 month period and because of that she was able to have the courts take my visitation rights away.

so, what you're saying is your work was more important than your child.

I don't help people who put the children second in their life. Have a happy life.

 

[Lolopez42]

I would agree that the law is HORRIBLY UNFAIR to fathers who sit on their butts and doing nothing for years (like filing through the court) or saving up for an attorney to do so. Keep doing nothing big guy and you'll get exactly what you deserve nothing. (BTW- the kid will eventually figure out that you didn't try, so good luck with the relationship when he/she turns 18.)

How do you figure that I did nothing? I don't know what else to do? Who exactly am I supposed to file through if not the court? Obviously I am doing something. And as far as my daugther "figuring out that I didn't try" I have all the emails between me and her mother, with me begging to see her and her mother telling me that she was going to find a new father for my daughter and I should just get lost and leave her alone. All I have to do is show them to my daughter. I have a daughter with my current girlfriend and I am there everyday, because her mom lets me! If my other daughter's mom would have allowed me to be there, I would still be in her life and be her dad.

 

[Lolopez42]

so, what you're saying is your work was more important than your child.

I don't help people who put the children second in their life. Have a happy life.

Well, If I didn't work, then I couldn't pay my child support, which means I go to jail. And then I wouldn't be able to be there for her at all.

 

[eme76]

How do you figure that I did nothing? I don't know what else to do? Who exactly am I supposed to file through if not the court? Obviously I am doing something. And as far as my daugther "figuring out that I didn't try" I have all the emails between me and her mother, with me begging to see her and her mother telling me that she was going to find a new father for my daughter and I should just get lost and leave her alone. All I have to do is show them to my daughter. I have a daughter with my current girlfriend and I am there everyday, because her mom lets me! If my other daughter's mom would have allowed me to be there, I would still be in her life and be her dad.

how many children have you sired? have you never heard of birth control?​

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Why were you ordered supervised visits in the first place? Missing your visitations is not a reason a judge would yank them all together.

There is much more to this story.

 

[topshelf]

so, what you're saying is your work was more important than your child.

I don't help people who put the children second in their life. Have a happy life.

Ughhhh this has got the be the rudest statement. Lets see, if the man does not work the child so called child(ren) "starves to death" because mommy is not getting her support check. Then Daddy will go to jail because he has not paid, because he lost his job so he could see his child. Its a no win situation for the father. Because of his job he is unable to juggle work and visitation. Dah! Like this situation has NEVER happened to ANYONE is their life????????Right????

If he chose visitation over work and lost his job, YOU PEOPLE WOULD BE CALLING HIM A DEADBEAT.

 

[eme76]

Ughhhh this has got the be the rudest statement. Lets see, if the man does not work the child so called child(ren) "starves to death" because mommy is not getting her support check. Then Daddy will go to jail because he has not paid, because he lost his job so he could see his child. Its a no win situation for the father. Because of his job he is unable to juggle work and visitation. Dah! Like this situation has NEVER happened to ANYONE is their life????????Right????

If he chose visitation over work and lost his job, YOU PEOPLE WOULD BE CALLING HIM A DEADBEAT.

.

I find it very hard to believe that the only time this man could have visitation with his child was during his work hours...over time or not
this is a man who chooses to continue to bring children into the world with NO intentions of being able to support them
that is a DEAD-BEAT!​

 

[Lolopez42]

Ughhhh this has got the be the rudest statement. Lets see, if the man does not work the child so called child(ren) "starves to death" because mommy is not getting her support check. Then Daddy will go to jail because he has not paid, because he lost his job so he could see his child. Its a no win situation for the father. Because of his job he is unable to juggle work and visitation. Dah! Like this situation has NEVER happened to ANYONE is their life????????Right????

If he chose visitation over work and lost his job, YOU PEOPLE WOULD BE CALLING HIM A DEADBEAT.

QUOTE]

Thanks topshelf.. it's nice to know that some people out there realize that non custodial parents are in a no win situation. It doesn't matter what we do or what good intentions we have, we will always be looked down upon. I have 3 children. 2 of the mothers were on birth control and I have an active part in 2 of thier lives, the ones whose mothers don't make it impossible. As far there being more to the story... I have a felony car theft from when I was 18 years old. That was 8 years ago. I served my time and I am a law abiding citizen. I was stupid and young and made a stupid mistake. She used that against me and made up a bunch of lies. The courts looked at me - a felon - and weren't exactly on my side.

 

[topshelf]

I find it very hard to believe that the only time this man could have visitation with his child was during his work hours...over time or not
this is a man who chooses to continue to bring children into the world with NO intentions of being able to support them
that is a DEAD-BEAT!​

Oh boy your really are deaf dumb and blind. I am glad your situation in your life is perfect, and you have no understanding that there is a nice big world out there with four hundred million other situations.

 

[weenor]

how many children have you sired? have you never heard of birth control?​

Somebody's not getting IT

 

[Lolopez42]

I find it very hard to believe that the only time this man could have visitation with his child was during his work hours...over time or not
this is a man who chooses to continue to bring children into the world with NO intentions of being able to support them
that is a DEAD-BEAT!​

I am supporting all my children. I pay my chld support. And the only time that her mother would agree to meet with me to see my daughter was during the split shift... no other time worked with her schedule, or so she claimed. I would have loved to have it at a different time, like after work, but she said that didn't work for her. I was trying to make things cordial between us, I didn't want to fight with her, I just wanted to see my baby.

 

[topshelf]

Thanks topshelf.. it's nice to know that some people out there realize that non custodial parents are in a no win situation. It doesn't matter what we do or what good intentions we have, we will always be looked down upon. I have 3 children. 2 of the mothers were on birth control and I have an active part in 2 of thier lives, the ones whose mothers don't make it impossible. As far there being more to the story... I have a felony car theft from when I was 18 years old. That was 8 years ago. I served my time and I am a law abiding citizen. I was stupid and young and made a stupid mistake. She used that against me and made up a bunch of lies. The courts looked at me - a felon - and weren't exactly on my side.

Aww your welcome. Its too bad the people are not more sympathic to others. These are the same people that look down on homeless people pointing their fingers saying its their fault they live on the street. Blind eyes only leads to ignorance. And ignorance is NOT bliss.