visitation and support

[jaygla]

My kids live in NY. and I live in Mississippi (military). Last summer visitation w/ my 3 kids 15,14,10 yrs went well. However, the x lets my 14 y o girl date, a 16 y o boy and has a real 14k diamond promise (engagement ring) and admits they doe alot of heavy petting and kissing. The week after visitation my x informed me that my then 13 y o daughter was in V B Virginia on a week long vacation with the boyfriend and his parents. I told x that I disapproved and threatened calling Child and Family services on her. She cut phone and e-mail between me and my kids for 3 months Aug 8 to mid Oct.(first court appearance). My house was destroyed by hurricane Katrina on Aug 29 and did not make the call to Child and Family Services as planned. Sept 12 she filed sex abuse allegations on me with the state of NY and is asking NY to terminate ALL contact between me and my kids (without a lawyer). To make matters worse both older kids have been led into believing dad is medling into their personal lives and they do not want to speak to me period! I disapproved of my daughter dating a known sexually active 15 y/ o boy. My daughter and son both told me, my, and my 15 y o step son stories of what my daughter was doing w the boy. I guess either I disapproved of my 15 y o son's lifestyle or the x got him to believe I would not approve of things he was doing. He will not tell me what I did to him for him to want to write me out of his life. The annual visits are packed with 5 weeks of camping, theme parks, other family, fishing and skiing in my small boat on Gulf Coast, WW rafting, smokey mountains,....But last year I had to get a court order to make them come and they had a wonderful time. The x had said that the kids had other plans like boyfriends/girlfriends sports etc. however I believe they would have sat around all summer and been a couch potato. I feel this is a vindictive attack against me by my Ex because of my success. We are under the impression that the children are not supervised, my oldest is allowed to stay at friends houses most of the time, even on school nights. My daughter is allowed to go to her boyfriends house every day after school. My youngest has to watch their half sister, he is only ten and she is two. He is not mature or responsible enough to look out for a toddler. I only have the best interest of my children at heart, I want what is best for them. I want to be a part of their lives and know what is going on in their lives when I can not be with them. I don't think that is too much to ask. Q 1. Would the courts order a no contact permanently? Q2. If the X sticks to her guns would the court take part of the child support and put it into an account to be managed by the state and given to the children upon reaching the age of 21? Q3. Can I sue the Ex for breech of the divorce decree, I was awarded reasonable contact and she has denied that without just cause for over three months? Q4. If I win can i sue her for the costs incurred for airfare, lodging and expenses?

I believe if the court punished the x monetarily she and the kids would change their tune.

Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated. I have been summoned to Family Court in NY in the month of March. Do you think it is in my best interest to have legal representation in my defense? I have started preparing my case, affidavits and evidence to support my allegations is overwhelming against the Ex.

Thanks.
Jaygla

[CandiceH]

One of the reasons why you didnt get any responses is because your post is so long. Your best bet is to get an attorney in NY. The allegations are pretty harsh and you want to be respresented. Also, a NY attorney would be able to provide you with information on what would be acceptable as "proof" in a NY court. What county is the case in?

[BL]

geesh break it up into paragraphs , and us fine folks will advise you the best we can .

[jaygla]

Originally Posted by CandiceH

One of the reasons why you didnt get any responses is because your post is so long. Your best bet is to get an attorney in NY. The allegations are pretty harsh and you want to be respresented. Also, a NY attorney would be able to provide you with information on what would be acceptable as "proof" in a NY court. What county is the case in?

The county is Steuben.

[jaygla]

The bottom line is... since our divorce in 2000, my Ex has tried to come between my kids and me. Two years ago, she tried to stop visitation and the Family Court Judge ordered the visitation to take place, and she would take another look at the case after visitation was over, in which she did. Everything was fine and all of her allegations at that time were unfounded.

This summer she did not want them to come, and I told her I would file papers with the court to order visitation again, and she said no, please don't do that, I will let them visit. They visited, we had a nice summer, other than my 13 year old daughter does not like me "meddling" in her life by offering my thoughts on her relationship with her 15 year old boyfriend. To me, that is a parents job, to know what is going on with their children and to object to things that they know are wrong. That is the only reason my daughter has for not wanting to be a part of my life. My ex condones such behavior and that makes the kids happy, therefore they have been turned against me.

There is absolutely NO evidence of inappropriate touching as she alleges, because it never ever took place. So there is no way to have evidence.

I do plan at this time to hire an attorney. But still welcome any advice that is given.

Thanks,
jaygla

[jaygla]

Sorry for the long message it took me an hour to type. I am looking for an attorney in bath ny or stuben county
Jaygla

[AmarieNorton]

Q 1. Would the courts order a no contact permanently?
~~No contact between you and the kids? I doubt it. The courts will want to see to it that the children’s best interest is taken into account.

Q2. If the X sticks to her guns would the court take part of the child support and put it into an account to be managed by the state and given to the children upon reaching the age of 21?
~~I doubt it, it has been my understanding that child support is supposed to go to the parent for the current support of the children.

Q3. Can I sue the Ex for breech of the divorce decree, I was awarded reasonable contact and she has denied that without just cause for over three months?
~~I think you can file for contempt. I'll let one of the legal gurus answer this one.

Q4. If I win can i sue her for the costs incurred for airfare, lodging and expenses?
~~Airfare, lodging, and expenses for what - the family activities when they were with you? Doesn't make much sense to even try and sue for these expenses. What do these expenses even have to do with her not letting the kids speak to you for three months?

[BL]

Up to the top of this page find an Attorney now , or google Yellow pages and or Familily Law Attorney's in that Village .

You can also argue contempt of Court Orders , and ask for Sactions , wheather they will be awarded , is up to the Judge .

Your Lawyer can argue that you deny any allegations of child abuse , and the it can never be argued that the child have a relationship with both Parents , in best interest of the children , unless the circumstances warrent otherwise .

[jaygla]

Originally Posted by AmarieNorton

Q 1. Would the courts order a no contact permanently?
~~No contact between you and the kids? I doubt it. The courts will want to see to it that the children’s best interest is taken into account.

Q2. If the X sticks to her guns would the court take part of the child support and put it into an account to be managed by the state and given to the children upon reaching the age of 21?
~~I doubt it, it has been my understanding that child support is supposed to go to the parent for the current support of the children.

Q3. Can I sue the Ex for breech of the divorce decree, I was awarded reasonable contact and she has denied that without just cause for over three months?
~~I think you can file for contempt. I'll let one of the legal gurus answer this one.

Q4. If I win can i sue her for the costs incurred for airfare, lodging and expenses?
~~Airfare, lodging, and expenses for what - the family activities when they were with you? Doesn't make much sense to even try and sue for these expenses. What do these expenses even have to do with her not letting the kids speak to you for three months?

The airfare, lodging and expenses for when I have to fly to NY for this court hearing that should have never taken place in the beginning. She is doing whatever she can to alienate my children's relationship with me. I have done none of the things she is accusing. By her not allowing me to speak with my kids, I was also unable to visit with them over Christmas vacation in which I do every year. Therefore, she has done everything in her power to keep me from my children and this is not fair to me or to the children. When the kids are with me they have a wonderful time, and then when they get back home, they act totally different to me than they did while they were with me, I am at a loss, do not understand what kind of control she has over them. I appreciate all of the help and have consulted with a lawyer. I will however be filing and handling as much of this on my own that I can, to cut back on lawyer fees. Retainers only cover a limited amount of hours and then it costs more. Thanks for your help.