Want to collect back daycare and fight a medical bill

[asuccess]

What is the name of your state?MN
Hi, I need to file a response to a Motion to modify support and have a few questions. I appreciate any advice. I am the Custodial parent and the NCP is going to court to get his support suspended or lowered as he is on unemployment, he is married and his wife works 3 jobs. I myself am not employed as I just had a baby recently and was not working before that since Sep 2003. I did not go back to try to get more when I lost my job and don't get why he would. He also hired an attorney, even though he is stating financial hardship, and wants me to pay the attorneys fees. In MN we have In Forma Pauperis, basically you can apply to get all filing fees etc. waved if you are on public assistance and or as the court sees fit based on your income. One can file these motions simply by downloading forms and filling them out. Will he get attorneys fees awarded? Should I bring up the In Forma Pauperis in court? He is also wanting to be reimbursed for daycare expenses he paid for the past three years, alleging that I didn't tell him that I wasn't paying them when in reality he was fully aware that I had put our child in two different non profit programs ex:Boys and Girls club and when I informed him of this three years ago he said he was going to get the daycare portion modified and never did even though I told him I would support that decision as I don't feel he should have to pay for a service that isn't being provided. However it had not been brought up again until now and quite honestly I just never paid attention to it as all my payments are put on a card under one umbrella of child support. (Oh and by the way it just to happened that he decided to file this motion right after he found out that I am in a serious relationship and brought my boyfriend to our daughters volleyball game) I would like to bring up the fact in court that before the order was modified to include daycare which originally I didn't even know was an option I paid over $10,000 in daycare fees. I have the tax returns to prove it.
He also wants me to pay for a dental bill of $1500.00 which never would have existed if he had followed up with the dental insurance company where the policy was in his wifes name and they would not speak to me when I called to get the approval and find out the coverage. I reminded him twice to do this and he said he would take care of it... I stupidly assumed he did. A month after my childs root canal there came the bill and he went through the roof. (as did I) If he had researched the coverage, then I would have been able to take her to an oral surgeon who works on a sliding fee scale, or to the county medical center , I qualify for a number of programs. I do not feel that I should have to pay for any of that bill because of this. Please help, I need to be prepared. Thanks in advance for your help.
Amy

 

[stealth2]

Just out of curiousity - what portion of your child's support do YOU provide?

 

[asuccess]

back daycare and medical bills

I'm not quite sure what you mean by what part of the support do I provide. I provide food, home, clothing, transportation. Pretty much everything. If your wondering about the money his obligation is 643.00 a month, the original order was for 324.00 in 1993, and was modified in 1999 when I asked him for help paying daycare and he refused, otherwise the order would still be for the 324.00. I have money set aside if your wondering about my income. I also share certain expenses with my boyfriend. I am going back to work full time next month. The NCP did not lose his job out of the blue, he was notified 60 days ahead of time the company was closing, I even offered to help him with his resume and putting it online etc. at the time because I knew he did not have the internet yet. He told me that it wasn't that big of a deal. He is almost $3000.00 in arrears and I have not even picked up the phone to call child support or complained to him, as I am more concerned with his maintaining his relationship with his daughter who he maybe sees every other weekend ( he can see her whenever he wants as far as I'm concerned). He has a history of falling off the face of the earth for 6 months to a year at a time , this has happened three times now and there is never any real reason, and it breaks my kids heart. She is 12 now but the last time he did this she was 9, the pattern is it usually happens when he is upset with me over somthing ... ex: the boyfriend. He and his wife cannot have kids and he has approached me several times over the years about us having another one, and us being together etc. (fell on deaf ears of course which didn't make him happy). This is the first man I've dated that I have even introduced him to and that is because I am in a permanent relationship, and we plan on marrying in the near future, therefore he knows how serious it is and I think it has really hit him that he and I are never going to happen now. Is any of this making sense?

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

ummm....

The NCP did not lose his job out of the blue, he was notified 60 days ahead of time the company was closing

Actually he did lose his job out of the blue. The company was just courteous enough to give their employees notice. Many companies DON'T and the employees find out when they get to work to see a note on the door -- or the chains -- or they hear about it on the news. 60 days isn't exactly alot of time to find a job similar to what you were doing, including a similar salary. BTW, I'm talking a professional job -- not working at the mall or fast food. For someone who's NOT working, I don't think you're in the clear to criticize him. Due to the fact he lost his job because the company closed, the court will not consider it that he left his job voluntarily. If he's been putting an effort into finding another job (in addition to the fact the company closed), then the court will most likely grant him a lower CS amount.

Also, his new wife's salary has nothing to do with this at all. You won't be able to touch it.

Now, onto the bills you're speaking of, what is exactly in your divorce order?? Who's responsible for what?

 

[asuccess]

never married

Thanks for your response. We were never married. In regards to his wifes salary I was already aware of that fact, and must not have communicated effectively that I wasn't trying to use her income. As for his employment (and everyones comments as to mine) we both work in the same field Sales, 100% commission. My employment is not the issue here. I hold my own business license, so when I say I am not employed I mean by someone else, or not working right now it means I am taking time off. I am not asking for more money nor have I since 1999 and since then there have been no cost of living increases due to his responding every time one came up and being granted in his favor to not increase. In the mortgage industry which is where we both work there are at least 50 or more employment adds in the paper per week alone, and that's just the paper. I get on average three job offers a week, without solicitation, I have just left my resume online and also recruiters look for people in our industry who hold a license. I have myself when employed through different companies in varied aspects of our industry(before holding my own license so I don't have to share my commission) be it wholesale or retail left a job one day and literally worked somewhere else the next 3 times, it is typical in the mortgage sales industry to do this. I agree it is not his fault the company closed, but it's an everyday occurrence. What I would like to do is establish that in fact he waited for the company to close in order to collect unemployment, with the intentions of trying to get his child support lowered. During the past two years his income has steadily decreased and at anytime he could have gone to modify his support and had it granted, so why now?

 

[nextwife]

First, how do you KNOW he "did nothing" to find employment during that time? That he met with no one and sent out no resumes?

As to "Why now?", likely because NOW it has reached the critical point, and whatever resources he was using to make up the payment when his income dropped initially are no longer available.