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want to relinquish rights

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chesley5874

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? virginia
I live in virginia and my mother has custody of one of my middle sons. She has raised him since he was a baby, because I was going to give him up for adoption because I did not have a job or a place to live. She convinced me to give her custody of him so she could raise him as her own son,because she never had a boy. All of a sudden a long time ago they started coming after me for child support and I did not mind paying at all. Recently my mother and I have had a falling out and she turned my son against me and he says he doesn't want anything to do with me or want to talk to me. We really never had a close relationship anyways because he was just in love with my mom and she could do no wrong in his eyes. So I figured I might as well relinquish my rights since he doesn't want anything to do with me anyways, and I was just wondering if that is someting that I would be able to do. I really need help because I do not know what else to do.:confused:
 


garrula lingua

Senior Member
You can relinquish your rights, but you will probably still have to pay child support (an obligation).

Was your Mom on any gov. assisstance ? You will have to reimburse this.

If the cs was payable to your Mom & she wasn't on gov assistance, then you can reach an agreement with Mom regarding arrears & cs.

Maybe you should be nicer to Mom.

It doesn't matter what your son's attitude is; you are obligated to provide for his support.
 

chesley5874

Junior Member
my mom is mad because I took custody of me daughter back because she wanted to live with me. It is not really something I did I put myself out there all the time for her pai my c.s. and handed her money whenever she asked so it has nothing to do with be nicer to mom. The dad lives in seattle and he pays child support also and our son doesn't want to live with him either. Like I said my mom was suppose to raise my son as her own because she did not want me to give him up for adoption. When I got pregnant I was on birth control it was an unplanned pregnancy. I had no place of my own to live and no job at the time. If I had known all of this was going to happen at the time I probably would have given him up for adoption. Of course I could not give him p for adoption now.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Dad can step in and make a claim for custody at this point and junior wouldn't be able to dictate. They wouldn't give him custody right away but he would be entitled once he established a relationship. terminating your rights is possible however be prepared for dad to step up at that point and go for full custody.
 

chesley5874

Junior Member
the dad is afraid of the consequences of forcing our son to live with him. I already asked him to go for custody of him. My son needs a strong male role model in his life plus he is married so their would be to of them to take care of him. My son suffers from adhd,depression and anxiety disorders. So his dad is afraid of what our son might do if he forces him to move with him.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
chesley5874 said:
my mom is mad because I took custody of me daughter back because she wanted to live with me. It is not really something I did I put myself out there all the time for her pai my c.s. and handed her money whenever she asked so it has nothing to do with be nicer to mom. The dad lives in seattle and he pays child support also and our son doesn't want to live with him either. Like I said my mom was suppose to raise my son as her own because she did not want me to give him up for adoption. When I got pregnant I was on birth control it was an unplanned pregnancy. I had no place of my own to live and no job at the time. If I had known all of this was going to happen at the time I probably would have given him up for adoption. Of course I could not give him p for adoption now.
You feel as though you couldn't put him up for adoption now, but you have no problem severing all legal ties with him?!?

You had your son and let mom raise him because you couldn't. THEN, you decided to have ANOTHER child that you couldn't take care of so mom took that kid in too. Maybe mom sued you for child support to try and FORCE you into growing up before she had a THIRD grandchild to raise.
 

chesley5874

Junior Member
I never asked my mom to raise him she wanted to raise him since she never had a boy. I had one child after him whom I am raising myself thankyou. I moved to maryland awhile ago and she asked if my daughter who is the oldest child could stay and live with her so I let her because my daughter did not want to move to a different state. I took custody of my daughter back now she only has the one child living with her. She went after me for child support because she likes money not to force me to grow up. She won't let the child who lives with her more in with the dad because she doesn't want to lose the child support.
 

weenor

Senior Member
chesley5874 said:
I never asked my mom to raise him she wanted to raise him since she never had a boy. I had one child after him whom I am raising myself thankyou. I moved to maryland awhile ago and she asked if my daughter who is the oldest child could stay and live with her so I let her because my daughter did not want to move to a different state. I took custody of my daughter back now she only has the one child living with her. She went after me for child support because she likes money not to force me to grow up. She won't let the child who lives with her more in with the dad because she doesn't want to lose the child support.
Why do people insist on thinking this way. I have yet to see an example where it cost less to raise a child than the child support paid. So why would anyone keep a child JUST for child support.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
weenor said:
Why do people insist on thinking this way. I have yet to see an example where it cost less to raise a child than the child support paid. So why would anyone keep a child JUST for child support.
Well...it depends to some extent on the overall income level of the person with the child.

A grandparent with custody couldn't receive TANIF if they were receiving child support, but based on their income they might receive foodstamps and child support.

Foodstamps are actually VERY generous...its about the only thing regarding welfare that is generous. You could easily feed a family of four on what they give for a family of two if you are a savvy shopper.

Medicaid can be extremely significant as well if the parent/guardian also qualifies to receive Medicaid.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
weenor said:
Why do people insist on thinking this way. I have yet to see an example where it cost less to raise a child than the child support paid. So why would anyone keep a child JUST for child support.
They think that it distracts from the fact that they aren't doing their job as a PARENT. It NEVER works.
 

chesley5874

Junior Member
between me and the father she gets about 700.00 dollars a month for support. If she lets him go live with his dad she would have to get a job,that is why she won't let him go. Before she said I could not see him I tried to be a parent and she would not let me. Because of how she has raised him is the reason that he acts the way he does. A life with out rules and regulations is what he has, and if he moved in with me or his dad that would change and that is why he doesn't want to move. She only keeps him for the support, because she has said it on more than one occasion You can't have him becasue what would I do for money.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
chesley5874 said:
between me and the father she gets about 700.00 dollars a month for support. If she lets him go live with his dad she would have to get a job,that is why she won't let him go. Before she said I could not see him I tried to be a parent and she would not let me. Because of how she has raised him is the reason that he acts the way he does. A life with out rules and regulations is what he has, and if he moved in with me or his dad that would change and that is why he doesn't want to move. She only keeps him for the support, because she has said it on more than one occasion You can't have him becasue what would I do for money.
What steps have you and/or the father taken to try and gain LEGAL custody of the child?
 

72264kids

Member
ceara19 said:
They think that it distracts from the fact that they aren't doing their job as a PARENT. It NEVER works.
Ceara19 just wants to make sure that she can keep grabbing money. All future advice that she gives is bound to be based on that :D :D
 
N

NoDiggety

Guest
72264kids said:
Ceara19 just wants to make sure that she can keep grabbing money. All future advice that she gives is bound to be based on that :D :D
Hey Massengil...you stalking everyone who's heckled you so far?! I will pull up to the next window, now. :rolleyes:
 
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