What is considered child support?

[Chrissy1982]

What is the name of your state?Florida

My son's father has been giving me $50 a week since the end of October 2004...approximately 2 1/2 months (my son is 9 months old) now. I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions. I know he is doing this solely for tax purposes come April 15.

My question is, considering that this is not court-ordered, will this so-called "child support" (as he continues to call it) be recognized as such?

Are payments like these considered child support in the eyes of the law or any judge, since they are not legally made?

I would appreciate any help!!!

Thank you.

 

[haiku]

first off, child support is not taxed, as either a write off or a benefit, so it benefits neither one of you, court ordered or not.

Secondly, how wonderful your ex is giving you CHILD SUPPORT weekly, without a court order. And how nice, you are financially not dependant on it, and bank it away in savings. Eventually you should look into some long term investing for that when it builds up to a nice chunk of money.

my guess is he is writing child support on these checks, so that he has a record that he has been contributing to his childs welfare should you take him to court. Whether or not what he pays is the right percentage of his income per florida guidelines, I could not tell you, but there are online calculators for that. if you were to go to court, the court may or may not consider what he has already paid a 'gift".

But here comes my most important advice to you.....Alot of that depends on you.

you have 18 more years at least in co-parenting with this guy. he currently pays you willingly. There are thousands of mothers just like you who get NOTHING. Women with court orders smaller than you and LARGER than you. You have no court order, and though there is nothing wrong with having one, but remember,they are there to enforce something you already get willingly without one.

If you were to decide to get one, think long and hard about being a "bitch", because quite frankly, if you go in there and claim the money he has been giving you is not money to support his baby in the here and now, that is what you are going to look like. And you will jeoprodize any chance of a peaceful 18 years. Working together to come to an agreement in court is always best for the 3 of you.

think about how hard it is for kids in general to be raised by seperated parents, now think how hard it is when the child is put in the position of having to constantly "choose sides", and be witness to his parents hostility.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state?Florida

My son's father has been giving me $50 a week since the end of October 2004...approximately 2 1/2 months (my son is 9 months old) now. I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions. I know he is doing this solely for tax purposes come April 15.

My question is, considering that this is not court-ordered, will this so-called "child support" (as he continues to call it) be recognized as such?

Are payments like these considered child support in the eyes of the law or any judge, since they are not legally made?

I would appreciate any help!!!

Thank you.

1. He is WILLINGLY paying you a check every week and YOU can label it to be any dam thing that you want (college money, clothes, rent, utilities, Dr.s, medicine, gasoline, telephone, food, cigarettes, beer, tsunami relief, etc, you get the idea).

2. The fact is that he IS PAYING CHILD SUPPORT!!!!!!!

3. As other poster said, there are a hellofalot of CP that don't get anything- you had better wake up and realize how lucky you AND your child are!

4. Because he is paying, and keeping documentation, if and when a CS order is put in place The court WILL GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR MONIES PAID!

5. FYI- That $50.00 per week that he's paying is the guideline amount for parents that have combined income of approx. $3,800.00 with CP (you) earning more (Idon't know if you do earn more this is just an example). However, the point is depending on the finances of both you and him, a court MAY order him to pay LESS than what he is willingly paying.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state?Florida

My son's father has been giving me $50 a week since the end of October 2004...approximately 2 1/2 months (my son is 9 months old) now. I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions. I know he is doing this solely for tax purposes come April 15.

My question is, considering that this is not court-ordered, will this so-called "child support" (as he continues to call it) be recognized as such?

Are payments like these considered child support in the eyes of the law or any judge, since they are not legally made?

I would appreciate any help!!!

Thank you.

If you are cashing the checks, then you are agreeing that this is child support. Your verbal actions will not override your written signature on those checks.

So is your point to get this guy so far behind he will owe you forever?

 

[TNBSMommy]

I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions.

What are your intentions? That he pay you $50 a week for a college fund ON TOP of any CS orders you manage to get?
Once that money goes to you, it doesnt matter what you spend it on, or save it for, once the child is taken care of. You should be d*mn grateful he is giving you anything at all, with or without a court order. I am one of those CPs Gracie and Haiku mentioned who gets little to no CS... Personally, I have no sympathy...and I hope, for his sake, the judge does indeed take into account the money he has been giving you, and count it as CS.

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state?Florida

My son's father has been giving me $50 a week since the end of October 2004...approximately 2 1/2 months (my son is 9 months old) now. I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions. I know he is doing this solely for tax purposes come April 15.

My question is, considering that this is not court-ordered, will this so-called "child support" (as he continues to call it) be recognized as such?

Are payments like these considered child support in the eyes of the law or any judge, since they are not legally made?

I would appreciate any help!!!

Thank you.

So are you sorry now that you asked these questions?

 

[Chrissy1982]

Thank you!

So are you sorry now that you asked these questions?

Thank you all for your input, advice, and suggestions--I really appreciate you all taking the time to do this.

Before going on to anything else, I would like to answer the questions posted to me. First, I am not sorry I asked these questions (hahaha)...I am not the least bit offended, upset, or hurt. I just wanted to get some feedback, that is all.

Second, I completely understand my position as far as my son's father giving me money weekly. I know there are so many other women out there (single mothers like myself!) that are in a worse position receiving nothing. In my situation, however, the father (we were never married by the way) did not opt to pay this money willingingly and from the goodness of his heart. I told him that this money was for his son not me, and that he really needed to start contributing as we had planned prior to his birth. I never asked him for a lot ($100 a month since his birth) but he always had excuses (I have come to realize it is probably due to his immaturity at his age of 22 years, plus that he is also irresponsible financially) as to why he could not give me the money. Finally, I let 7 months go by (after not mentioning CS or any kind of money) and asked him if he was going to contribute something to his son, which he obviously begun after an in-depth discussion we had.

I never took him to court for the sole purpose that he himself told me that he could not afford to pay what the court would probably order him to pay and that he would go to jail (which I know is not true, but nonetheless, don't care to pursue it in court). As far as considering myself and my son lucky for receiving this money, I don't. Honestly, I am not the one that needs this money and provide for my son. I don't believe I should consider myself lucky because it is the father's duty and obligation, whether or not he is involved in his child's life, to pay CS. If he chooses not to pay, it is his loss. That is something I feel he will greatly regret later on in life. Hopefully he will keep up with these weekly contributions, because he is someone that sticks to his promises. We will have to see...

I do not have any intentions to get the father "so far behind that he will owe [me] forever?" If he doesn't want to pay anything that is fine, I really don't care anymore. I made that last attempt as previously mentioned above (which obviously worked), but was not going to pursue the issue any longer had he decided not to contribute anything. I feel that contributing to the welfare and upbringing of a child should come from the parents themselves, and not through a court order. If he wants to contribute fine, if not that is ok too.

Also, I only had asked him to give me money for the education, not for CS AND education. Just one.

I am not looking for sympathy or pity. My son's father has a lot of growing up to do, has not been there for his son for the first 7 months of his life, and has shown little responsibility as far as being a parent goes. There is a lot more background than the question suggests. I don't want altercations or problems here, just wanted some help or advice about this. I hope I have clarified some things a bit, and really do appreciate everyone's input.

Thanks again!

We both

 

[somedude]

I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education.

Umm...HELLO!?? Bueller? Bueller? This IS support. Like someone mentioned, the fact you are (if you truly are) putting this towards the child's education is essentially "support". You don't seem to understand this because you mentioned this AGAIN!

IF you are in fact doing this, this is probably the only smart thing you're doing. With the cost of a college education sky-rocketing, you'd be smart to invest it. Again, since it hasn't sunk it -- the fact that you ARE putting it towards the CHILD's education, it IS CHILD SUPPORT!!!!

You mentioned HIS immaturity. Again: HELLO!!??? Take a look in the mirror before you start name-calling. Quite frankly, YOU are the one who seems immature -- NOT him. He's VOLUNTARILY paying every week. Stop bitching and grow up! He could be paying nothing and wait for YOU to legally establish paternity and go through CSEA. And guess what, you won't get back support from CSEA either -- they only deal with current/future (from date of filing). In fact, a judge WILL look favorably upon him more than you because he is voluntarily paying. Plus, with him writing "child support" on the checks -- checks that YOU ARE CASHING WILLFULLY -- it WILL be considered as support by a judge. I know these AS A FACT!! So, stop with the name-calling, girlie.

You need to make up your mind, Sybil. First, you "will wait and see" if he gets behind -- then you say you don't care if he pays anymore. Put one face on and keep it on!!! You are in NO POSITION to judge this man. What you are saying is NOT looking favorably on you at all. I'll bet there are quite a few on this forum who'd like to take this guy out for a beer or two because of his actions.

Grow up -- and stop name-calling. Most of all, be fortunate he's paying you the money without a court order. Have I mentioned, grow up, Immature one.

Reading emotionally-filled posts by bitter women like you make me laugh. Look in the mirror.

 

[too sad in az]

First, I am not sorry I asked these questions (hahaha)...

Don't be sorry and don't be happy or thankful or grateful that the father pays $50 a week. Just because other fathers or mothers (because there are some) don't pay child support no one should feel grateful that a father does contribute. I wouldn't look at the money as going to your child's education. I would just look at it as CS period and you do what you see fit. However, working relationship or a dysfunctional relationship, I would get a CS order established now! Going to court doesn't mean you have to become enemies. It just gives you a basis of how it is going to be. Therefore there are no questions later down the line. He is the father and he should provide for his child. The checks you have received will be considered as child support and that is his proof. After a court order is issued and he decides to write you checks or give money that would be considered a gift. You don't always have to go to a lawyer to get child support. Department of Children and Family Services can help for free.

 

[seniorjudge]

"...Department of Children and Family Services can help for free...."

Wrong.

Oh, so, wrong.

This is paid for by taxpayers.

It is NOT free.

 

[tigger22472]

the reality of this is that mom doesn't have a CS order... Dad is paying this willingly. Mom has the right to FILE for support and that support will ONLY start from the date of filing. It sounds like mom thinks she's going to file for support and be able to take it back to the date of birth and that doesn't happen. It will DEFINATELY look good on dad's part to have copies of the checks or whatever to show that he has been giving her money but in reality it doesn't really matter without an actual order.

AND to whomever told her to contact CSE that is wrong. FIRST off you have to have a court order for support to begin with before CSE even gets involved unless you are getting government help and then sometimes they will take the ball, however obviously since mom is holding this money she's not needing it so we can assume she's not getting government help. CSE will only get involved when there is an open case (and if you aren't getting government help they do charge fees to collect) or they open it due to get some of their monies back.

 

[somedude]

Hey TooSad

You are the LAST person to respond to this thread. The way you're being ripped apart in a thread you created shows you have not a clue what you're talking about.

 

[too sad in az]

You are the LAST person to respond to this thread. The way you're being ripped apart in a thread you created shows you have not a clue what you're talking about.

She needs to file for child support now!

 

[critterperson]

What is the name of your state?Florida

My son's father has been giving me $50 a week since the end of October 2004...approximately 2 1/2 months (my son is 9 months old) now. I told him that I did not consider this child support and that this was money for our son's college education. However, he writes "child support" on the check and disregards my intentions. I know he is doing this solely for tax purposes come April 15.

My question is, considering that this is not court-ordered, will this so-called "child support" (as he continues to call it) be recognized as such?

Are payments like these considered child support in the eyes of the law or any judge, since they are not legally made?

I would appreciate any help!!!

Thank you.

Child support is any money given to the CP for the benefit of the child. Toys clothes diapers are not considered child support, but the $50 cash will be considered payment twords child support if it goes in front of a judge. By the way child support is not taxable to the CP or deductable for the NCP. Good luck

 

[Chrissy1982]

Thanks!



Thank you all for your replies...again I appreciate you taking the time to read this and respond.