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What Does CS pay for in Hawaii?

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brandon_808

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) Honolulu, Hawaii
Hi, back in February 2009, my ex girlfriend and I broke up. She wanted full legal and physical custody of our beautiful little daughter (1yr. now). I wanted joint, but she never let up. The biggest mistake of my life was signing those papers. Keep in mind I factored this in, her ex husband cheated on her 6 times before she divorced him and she gained full legal and physical custody of their three sons (her ex pays $300 a month for three kids and he nets $75,000 yr with no bills). She has never once denied the boys from him. Not once! My ex and I simply grew apart, so I figured, no matter what, I would never lose my little girl, so i signed the papers.
Anyways, the Child Support Decree states I pay $590 a month for child support and nothing else. But, I also pay between $500- $600 a month on the side for diapers, formula, food and clothing (not apart of the CS Decree). Believe me, I kept ALL receipts for this dated back to when our baby was born. I also pay $650 a month for child care (also not part of the CS Decree) after Child Care Assistance. What does CS pay for? Many people tell me CS for necessities like formula, food, diapers clothes. So why am I paying for these items on the side? If CS does cover “necessities,” and she has full legal and physical custody, is $590 suppose to be enough for the month, or do I have to pay half of everything? My ex tells me CS is only the differential pay between her and I and it only covers water and electricity that our daughter uses. What?! No baby or adult uses $590 a month for water and electricity. I don’t know if she remembers clearly, but I did live with her and her 3 sons for 1 year and I paid $355 a month for electricity and water/sewage for all of us put together.
Now it gets crazier! She moved back in with her ex husband (they live in seperate parts of the house) and she doesn’t pay rent. She also went back on active duty orders which pays her a lot more than her civilian job; approximately $1800 more a month. After she told me that, I told her that I will not be paying the extra 5 to 6 hundred dollars a month for our daughters “necessities”, until I find out what CS is really suppose to cover ( am I wrong for telling her that?). I also told her that I will only pay half of the child care. She’s pretty pissed at that whole situation.
Here is my work schedule. I work 2-3 times a week during the weekday and every other weekend and I still get paid full time. Now, during the weekday, I start work at 2pm and she gets off at 2pm. So I am able to drop our daughter off to her before I start work. The other 2-3 days, im completely off. I tell her there is no reason for me to pay child care when I can watch our daughter everyday. She simply tells me that I have no say. Wow, where’s the compromise there?
I understand that my obligations is to pay $590 a month for CS, and as a responsible father, I have been doing that, and have not missed a payment (automatic deductions out of my paycheck). I also have given her a written and signed letter stating that I WILL pay half of the child care, as long as she shows me proof of tuition and that I can make the payment with a check directly to the Child Care (i think thats fair). Am I, in any way short changing my daughter in any way at all? My ex only lets me see her once or twice a week for 6 hours at a time. I do miss my little angel every second of every day and wish with all my heart that I could spend everyday with her! But im not allowed. What should I do?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Read your child support order. If it states that you are only to pay $590 a month, then that is ALL you are obligated to pay.

Court-ordered child support is intended to replace the financial support you would have otherwise provided for your child if you were still living with your family.

The custodial parent is also responsible for their portion of that support. That said, there is no rule on how the actual cs money is to be spent. Mom can buy the child designer clothes, or she can get herself a mani-pedi.

Anything you pay over and above your court-ordered amount is a gift.

What happens regarding her and her ex and his cs is irrelevant to your situation.
 

brandon_808

Junior Member
goddessoflubboc, first off, the CS Decree states "Father shall pay for CS for the sum of $590 a month until child reaches the age of 23 so long as child continues his or her education post- high school"... Thats it! So you are saying the child support ($590 mo.) covers all "necessities" on my behalf for the month and me paying half of child care is considered a "gift"? If so, thank you for your help and the much needed info. I really thought that there would be an actual guideline to what the CS is paying for, because i just wanted to show her. She is so stuck on the water and electricity thing.I just have a feeling she is going to take me to court to resubmit to readjust CS payment. Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
goddessoflubboc, first off, the CS Decree states "Father shall pay for CS for the sum of $590 a month until child reaches the age of 23 so long as child continues his or her education post- high school"... Thats it! So you are saying the child support ($590 mo.) covers all "necessities" on my behalf for the month and me paying half of child care is considered a "gift"? If so, thank you for your help and the much needed info. I really thought that there would be an actual guideline to what the CS is paying for, because i just wanted to show her. She is so stuck on the water and electricity thing.I just have a feeling she is going to take me to court to resubmit to readjust CS payment. Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.
Yup, goddess is correct.

Sure, your ex can file to modify - but she'll need a reason to do so...
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Yup, goddess is correct.

Sure, your ex can file to modify - but she'll need a reason to do so...
If daycare wasn't calculated into the child support (and it sounds like it was not) then she absolutely could file to have daycare included. That would be a valid reason.

Other than that, she wouldn't have anything to base a modification on.

Brandon, a non-custodian parent's obligation normally includes base child support, a share of daycare expenses, and then outside of child support a share of the portion of unreimbursed medical expenses for the child.

Of course then you are also supposed to be providing for the child during your own time with the child. (food, diapers, sundries etc.)

You definitely are not obligated to provide all of the extras that you have been providing.

If she petitions to have daycare included, you can counter petition to provide the daycare yourself if you are available to do so. However do make sure that you will be consistantly available to do so prior to making that petition.
 

Cainlord

Member
Her ex must be really playing nice with her, if she is hitting you up with the guilt trip as much as you claim, I am surprised she hasn't done that to him with the 3 kids.
 

brandon_808

Junior Member
LdiJ, youre correct. Child Care was not factored in the CS Decree. According to my ex, her lawyer wrote up the draft for me to pay the $590 CS plus an outrageous $1800 for child care. She asked the lawyer to take off the child care, because it was too much. So we made an agreement for us to split the cost of childcare. But all in all, I’d prefer to watch our daughter instead of paying for the childcare, It would help us both save a lot of money, but she holds all the cards and wants to keep her in childcare. So sad!

As for the Medicare, im in the military and my daughter is covered under me as stated in the decree. When I spend time with my daughter, I do provide all necessities she needs. Im guessing my ex expects me to pay her more, because she does have her majority of the time, but, that’s not my problem. I send her emails almost every day asking her if I could spend time with my daughter, but she never replies. Too bad I send ‘read receipts’ to her and they all show “read”. So I save all the emails. If she does decide to take me to court, at least I have my side covered and she can never tell the court that I never request to see our daughter.

Cainlord, keep in mind she does live with her ex, and im not too sure, but they could be back together and that’s why she’s not pushing to have him pay more. If I do find out that they are back together, I will take her to court and request at least joint custody. I do not what my daughter raised by a man who constantly cheated on his wife, and ultimately, cheated on is family. He’s not a real man and I would really hate for my daughter to grow up and call him ‘daddy’. I think that would be the worst feeling in the world.
 

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