What rights to i have...

[liz94]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have been with my significate other for over 10yrs he had a one night stand and it resulted in pregnancy...he told her he wanted nothing with her and as a womans choice she decided to have the child and now she is taking him for every last cent...we are still together but struggling to make ends meet he continues to be responsible for financial responsiblities without missing a payment and she continues to ask for more she has been unemployeed for over 1year and continues to threaten him that she will take him to court (which they already have gone to because she got a lawyer and we were forced to get one too, which by the way the judge order him to pay half of her fees even though it was her choice to get one...he never refused to pay any child support)...we have 2 kids together but our lawyer says it doesn't matter because he want nothing to do with the kid or her no visitations the fee will be that high...we are stuggling...we only have milk 2 eggs and cereal next paycheck is for bills and what ever we have left over will be for food...it breaks my heart that we are so stressed out...what can i do as his partner can i take this woman to court for pain and suffering since it was her choice to have the baby knowing the he wanted nothing to do with either of them...her "woman's choice to choose" is taking a toll on us and the well being of our kids...i know it takes too people but he made it clear where he stood and it was utl. her choice...there's got to be something we can do...

 

[cyjeff]

There is nothing you can do.

Your significant other decided to have sex. Sex makes babies. He is now responsible for financially providing for that baby.

Sounds like someone in your household needs to find another job.

Oh, and that whole attitude of "he shouldn't have to pay for the child because he told her he didn't want it" is simply crap.

He had the opportunity to stop the birth of the child. He decided to put his pee pee in her woo woo instead. Now, it is too late.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have been with my significate other for over 10yrs he had a one night stand and it resulted in pregnancy...he told her he wanted nothing with her and as a womans choice she decided to have the child and now she is taking him for every last cent...we are still together but struggling to make ends meet he continues to be responsible for financial responsiblities without missing a payment and she continues to ask for more she has been unemployeed for over 1year and continues to threaten him that she will take him to court (which they already have gone to because she got a lawyer and we were forced to get one too, which by the way the judge order him to pay half of her fees even though it was her choice to get one...he never refused to pay any child support)...we have 2 kids together but our lawyer says it doesn't matter because he want nothing to do with the kid or her no visitations the fee will be that high...we are stuggling...we only have milk 2 eggs and cereal next paycheck is for bills and what ever we have left over will be for food...it breaks my heart that we are so stressed out...what can i do as his partner can i take this woman to court for pain and suffering since it was her choice to have the baby knowing the he wanted nothing to do with either of them...her "woman's choice to choose" is taking a toll on us and the well being of our kids...i know it takes too people but he made it clear where he stood and it was utl. her choice...there's got to be something we can do...

Your cheating partner impregnates another woman and you want to go after her? Are you kidding? Lady you have no reason to go after her. Tell the cheater to get another job.

 

[CSO286]

Well, knowing he had a financial obligation to support this child, you could have used yor "right to choose" and opted to not have children that would strain you and your boyfriend financially.

Barring that, no, you do not have a cause of action against this woman.

Perhaps you should get a job-or an additional one-to help meet your family's needs.

 

[liz94]

I appreciate the adult replies and for the record he is working 2 jobs he's never refused to pay anything and we don't have the attitude of "because he didn't want the baby he shouldn't have to pay" we just want what is fair this person drives by our home just to see what we are up to she found out he had another job and so demanded more money and won i'm already working over 10 hours and has yet to show any prove that she is looking for work again i appreciate mature responses and remember you don't know another person's pain until you live it don't be so quick to judge i wouldn't wish any of this on anyone...remember we are all human and make mistakes no one is perfect....i just want whats fair that's all

 

[Antigone*]

I appreciate the adult replies and for the record he is working 2 jobs he's never refused to pay anything and we don't have the attitude of "because he didn't want the baby he shouldn't have to pay" we just want what is fair this person drives by our home just to see what we are up to she found out he had another job and so demanded more money and won i'm already working over 10 hours and has yet to show any prove that she is looking for work again i appreciate mature responses and remember you don't know another person's pain until you live it don't be so quick to judge i wouldn't wish any of this on anyone...remember we are all human and make mistakes no one is perfect....i just want whats fair that's all

Honey, fair went out the door when he procreated a child with another mother. Now you have life with all its reality at it best.

 

[Zigner]

I appreciate the adult replies and for the record he is working 2 jobs he's never refused to pay anything and we don't have the attitude of "because he didn't want the baby he shouldn't have to pay" we just want what is fair this person drives by our home just to see what we are up to she found out he had another job and so demanded more money and won i'm already working over 10 hours and has yet to show any prove that she is looking for work again i appreciate mature responses and remember you don't know another person's pain until you live it don't be so quick to judge i wouldn't wish any of this on anyone...remember we are all human and make mistakes no one is perfect....i just want whats fair that's all

Fair to who? The you child who had no choice in the matter? The woman who is struggling to raise a child on her own? Or the family of the guy who decided that he needed a night of gratification outside of his current relationship?

 

[tuffbrk]

You should check your state child support calculator. If there is any benefit given to other children, it may behoove you to file for support for your two children. Also - look into food stamps, food pantries, etc. to help assist with reducing your food expenses.

Ultimately, it concerns me that he was ordered to pay her attorney fees if your household is as strained as you say. Generally in those cases each party is responsible for their own costs. Hubby may want to look into whether he is eligible for legal aid or reduced legal costs. I have to admit, though, that it raised my eyebrows that a judge would order him to pay her fees. There may be more to the story than you've written or your BF may not have disclosed the whole story.

Which is why we request the actual legal party to sign on and post their questions. Something seems to be a bit off in your post.

 

[Zigner]

The daddy-of-3-kids is already represented. I think we shouldn't say much more since I think the OP just doesn't like the information that the attorney who is fully aware of all the facts is giving to her boyfriend.

 

[ecmst12]

If YOU get another job, mom of bf's child has no right to touch any money that YOU earn.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have been with my significate other for over 10yrs he had a one night stand and it resulted in pregnancy...he told her he wanted nothing with her and as a womans choice she decided to have the child and now she is taking him for every last cent...we are still together but struggling to make ends meet he continues to be responsible for financial responsiblities without missing a payment and she continues to ask for more she has been unemployeed for over 1year and continues to threaten him that she will take him to court (which they already have gone to because she got a lawyer and we were forced to get one too, which by the way the judge order him to pay half of her fees even though it was her choice to get one...he never refused to pay any child support)...we have 2 kids together but our lawyer says it doesn't matter because he want nothing to do with the kid or her no visitations the fee will be that high...we are stuggling...we only have milk 2 eggs and cereal next paycheck is for bills and what ever we have left over will be for food...it breaks my heart that we are so stressed out...what can i do as his partner can i take this woman to court for pain and suffering since it was her choice to have the baby knowing the he wanted nothing to do with either of them...her "woman's choice to choose" is taking a toll on us and the well being of our kids...i know it takes too people but he made it clear where he stood and it was utl. her choice...there's got to be something we can do...

Actually your boyfriend's CHOICE to have sex with her is what is causing this issue. Maybe he should not have strayed. It doesn't matter where he stood when he found out she was pregnant -- what matters is that HIS penis is the one who impregnated her. He should have thought about that before hand. And you have NO STANDING to sue her. You can however LEAVE your boyfriend and sue him for support.

 

[Ohiogal]

I appreciate the adult replies and for the record he is working 2 jobs he's never refused to pay anything and we don't have the attitude of "because he didn't want the baby he shouldn't have to pay" we just want what is fair this person drives by our home just to see what we are up to she found out he had another job and so demanded more money and won i'm already working over 10 hours and has yet to show any prove that she is looking for work again i appreciate mature responses and remember you don't know another person's pain until you live it don't be so quick to judge i wouldn't wish any of this on anyone...remember we are all human and make mistakes no one is perfect....i just want whats fair that's all

You don't get it. Your boyfriend paying support on his child is what is fair. If he didn't want a child then he should NOT have had sex.