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What would you do?

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CJane

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? MO

The exBF was sent child support paperwork last week, and even though he's been insisting for months that he 'wants to make voluntary payments', he's apparently upset with me and CSE and is being a jerk.

He's now claiming that he wants a DNA test. He called CSE and told them that he wanted one and they told him that since he signed the AOP, one would not be ordered for this case. He threatened to get an attorney, and the woman essentially told him to go right ahead and drag everything out, but all that would happen is that he'd rack up more in arrearages prior to being told by the court that they won't order a DNA test.

So, he called me and asked if I'd voluntarily submit our son to a test. I really don't care, because there's no doubt that the kid is his. What bothers me is that he claims he's NOT dusputing paternity, has no doubt the child is his, etc but wants the test 'for future use'. What possible 'future use' could there be for a DNA test (especially one that's not court ordered).

Basically, he's telling me that I will submit our son for testing, or he will drag the child support thing out indefinitely just because he's angry with me.

Legally, he has no standing to request the test - should I go ahead and agree just to get him off my back?

In the meantime, he's also saying that he called the mother of his other child and informed her that he's now making considerably more than he was when the child support for that child was issued, and she has already increased support for that child (this supposedly took place in one day). Is that even possible? I thought a modification took awhile? I also thought that a modification could not take place in MO while a parent was in arrears (he's about $500 behind on child support to his daughter).

Is it possible for a modification to take place while an order (mine) is pending?

I'm not counting on child support from this guy, given his current behavior (refusal to see the child, harrassing phone calls, extreme anger issues, threats to take the child and disappear, threats to commit suicide, etc), but I'm confused about the process and tired of him just expecting me to believe everything he tells me.

Help?
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
DNA if parentage has not been adjudicated either by law or court order, is mandatory before an order for support be addressed. Since you were not married, there is no presumption of paternity unless he signed an acknowledgement of paternity at the hospital.
 

NotSoNew

Senior Member
If you have no doubts I would just go ahead and agree to a DNA test, although I dont know what future purpose it can serve. My husband signed the AOP but then we did a private home DNA test on our own just to be 100% positive, we didnt want to find out when she turned 18 that she wasnt his god forbid!

and if mom and dad both agreed to the upward modification I think it could take place in one day. Ex and I agreed to a mod and just walked in a filled out the papers. I dont know about the arrears thing but if it were upward I dont see why not?
 
E

eme76

Guest
BelizeBreeze said:
DNA if parentage has not been adjudicated either by law or court order, is mandatory before an order for support be addressed. Since you were not married, there is no presumption of paternity unless he signed an acknowledgement of paternity at the hospital.
she said he did:rolleyes:
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
eme76 said:
she said he did:rolleyes:
I would strongly suggest you no try to take me on.

CJanes, in this case, the agency is WRONG! And if you rely on their practicing law without a license, it would be a fatal mistake.

Simply because he signed the aop does NOT mean he has given up rights to disestablish paternity. Based on current Missouri statutes, although the 60 day window has closed, the minute you or the agency files for support, he retains the right to disestablish paternity and the court is bound by statute to order such a test to determine if you or the agency has standing.


Chapter 210 Child Protection and Reformation 210.817-210.852 "Uniform Parentage Act"

Acknowledgment of paternity is considered a legal finding of paternity--rescinding the acknowledgment. (1997)

1. A signed acknowledgment of paternity form pursuant to section 193.215, RSMo, shall be considered a legal finding of paternity subject to the right of either signatory to rescind the acknowledgment, in writing, by filing such rescission with the bureau within the earlier of:
(1) Sixty days from the date of the last signature; or
(2) The date of an administrative or judicial proceeding to establish a support order in which the signatory is a party. The acknowledgment may thereafter only be challenged in court on the basis of fraud, duress or material mistake of fact with the burden of proof upon the challenger. No judicial or administrative proceeding shall be required or permitted to ratify an unchallenged acknowledgment of paternity.
2. Except for good cause shown, the legal responsibilities of the parties, including child support obligations, shall not be suspended during the pendency of any action in which an attempt is made to revoke the signed acknowledgment under this section.
3. The acknowledgment shall be filed with the bureau. An acknowledgment effectuated under the law of any other state or territory shall be given the same effect in this state as it has in the other state or territory.
 
Some advice my father gave me once...

Seems like you are having some of the same problems choosing men that I did at one time, CJane, and got some advice from my father, that I will share with you...

Are you sure you don't want to just be a lesbian? :eek:

Just kidding, of course. :p

Sorry you are having trouble with both the ex's. You need to take a Calgon moment. ;)
 

CJane

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
CJanes, in this case, the agency is WRONG! And if you rely on their practicing law without a license, it would be a fatal mistake.

Simply because he signed the aop does NOT mean he has given up rights to disestablish paternity. Based on current Missouri statutes, although the 60 day window has closed, the minute you or the agency files for support, he retains the right to disestablish paternity and the court is bound by statute to order such a test to determine if you or the agency has standing.
Thank you.

I guess my confusion is in his insistence that he doesn't doubt paternity, but wants the test anyway. It's SO contradictory.

Is a voluntary test ok then, or should I wait and see if he really tries to get a court order?

What about the modifications he's claiming took place in mere hours?

Ith ~ My sister is a lesbian - I don't think my family can handle another one! Besides, for all the drama, I love men. Hence the IUD. LOL
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
CJane said:
Thank you.

I guess my confusion is in his insistence that he doesn't doubt paternity, but wants the test anyway. It's SO contradictory.

Is a voluntary test ok then, or should I wait and see if he really tries to get a court order?

What about the modifications he's claiming took place in mere hours?

Ith ~ My sister is a lesbian - I don't think my family can handle another one! Besides, for all the drama, I love men. Hence the IUD. LOL
Let him file the petition. He will have to have an attorney answer the Agencies action so that's the time to worry about it.
 

CJane

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
Let him file the petition. He will have to have an attorney answer the Agencies action so that's the time to worry about it.
Thank you! I'll stop worrying then. And, maybe I'll stop taking his phone calls too.
 
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