Whether to pursue support?

[EleventyOne]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex and I had a pretty reasonable split of 55-45, and I had the slightly smaller share. That has recently changed to where I now have about 80%, and it was done at court.

I went to the local child support office to start the process of modifying child support. I was paying my ex a relatively small amount, based upon the guideline formula in CA and the time share we had. Unfortunately they screwed up when they filed, so the court could only terminate what I was paying and not even pursue having my ex pay.

However, the child support agency made both of us aware of the results if this would be pursued. My ex was livid and told me it would be impossible to live on what was left after that. I do make slightly more than my ex, but not a ton. And I definitely know what it's like to struggle financially.

Is it wrong to pursue support if it isn't absolutely necessary? I'm basically paycheck to paycheck, so it would give some breathing room and help out a lot. My ex said it would impossible to maintain payments on the car, and I don't want to screw my ex over - even if I'm driving a 22 year old junker on its last legs. Any insight or thoughts?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex and I had a pretty reasonable split of 55-45, and I had the slightly smaller share. That has recently changed to where I now have about 80%, and it was done at court.

I went to the local child support office to start the process of modifying child support. I was paying my ex a relatively small amount, based upon the guideline formula in CA and the time share we had. Unfortunately they screwed up when they filed, so the court could only terminate what I was paying and not even pursue having my ex pay.

However, the child support agency made both of us aware of the results if this would be pursued. My ex was livid and told me it would be impossible to live on what was left after that. I do make slightly more than my ex, but not a ton. And I definitely know what it's like to struggle financially.

Is it wrong to pursue support if it isn't absolutely necessary? I'm basically paycheck to paycheck, so it would give some breathing room and help out a lot. My ex said it would impossible to maintain payments on the car, and I don't want to screw my ex over - even if I'm driving a 22 year old junker on its last legs. Any insight or thoughts?

Your child deserves to be supported by both parents, but that support doesn't necessarily have to be in the form of hard cash. That makes it more of a moral question for you, and we can't really tell you what to do on that one.

Having said that, if you're struggling and your child is going without, the answer seems obvious. If you're struggling and your child isn't going without, we're back to morality.