Will the court accept our agreement or push us toward a mutually unwanted solution?

[kdnjallen]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ---- Florida

My son's father and I separated last December; we were not married. We've established an equal arrangement where each of us has our son one week on, one week off. All financial responsibility is split in half so child support is unnecessary, and this is how we'd like it to remain. We'd like to see a lawyer together and have our agreement legalized. Will the legal system accept our arrangement or will they push to have one parent with full custody while the other pays child support? Also, I am a full-time college student and have been unsuccessful at finding a job willing to work around my schedule (both as a student and as a mother). The county said they will be unable to assist me with housing or food until I file for child support. If the system legalizes our agreement as-is, will I then be eligible for state support? I'm only looking for assistance temporarily while I finish my schooling. Any advice that you could give us would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for your time!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ---- Florida

My son's father and I separated last December; we were not married. We've established an equal arrangement where each of us has our son one week on, one week off. All financial responsibility is split in half so child support is unnecessary, and this is how we'd like it to remain. We'd like to see a lawyer together and have our agreement legalized. Will the legal system accept our arrangement or will they push to have one parent with full custody while the other pays child support? Also, I am a full-time college student and have been unsuccessful at finding a job willing to work around my schedule (both as a student and as a mother). The county said they will be unable to assist me with housing or food until I file for child support. If the system legalizes our agreement as-is, will I then be eligible for state support? I'm only looking for assistance temporarily while I finish my schooling. Any advice that you could give us would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for your time!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

No. If you go on state assistance, you must file for child support.

Think about it - why should the taxpayers support your child when there's a parent available to do so?

 

[kdnjallen]

I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure if you understand where I'm coming from. We are both taking care of him; everything is 50/50. All expenses are cut directly in half; I'm responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that I have him and his father is responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that he has him. Any irregular expense (medicine, etc.) is also split in half. We do not wish to have only one parent caring for him. We feel that it is a man and a woman who create a child; therefore, both should be raising that child equally. It is not the child's fault that the parents' relationship did not survive, after all. That said, as I mentioned in my original posting, we wish to file our arrangement legally, showing that both of us have equal custody of our son, therefore no exchange of funds is necessary.

If I had sole custody of our son, then yes, it's apparent that I would need to file for child support, as his father would not be "supporting" our child otherwise. Likewise, if he were caring for our son the majority of the time, I would be responsible for providing funding for our son's care. It's quite obvious that taxpayers should not be required to cover expenses that the non-custodial parent should be paying. However, again, we are both custodial parents, and, either way, I need assistance...

I hope I clarified my stance a little better. Best wishes and happy holidays.

No. If you go on state assistance, you must file for child support.

Think about it - why should the taxpayers support your child when there's a parent available to do so?

 

[Proserpina]

I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure if you understand where I'm coming from. We are both taking care of him; everything is 50/50. All expenses are cut directly in half; I'm responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that I have him and his father is responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that he has him. Any irregular expense (medicine, etc.) is also split in half. We do not wish to have only one parent caring for him. We feel that it is a man and a woman who create a child; therefore, both should be raising that child equally. It is not the child's fault that the parents' relationship did not survive, after all. That said, as I mentioned in my original posting, we wish to file our arrangement legally, showing that both of us have equal custody of our son, therefore no exchange of funds is necessary.

If I had sole custody of our son, then yes, it's apparent that I would need to file for child support, as his father would not be "supporting" our child otherwise. Likewise, if he were caring for our son the majority of the time, I would be responsible for providing funding for our son's care. It's quite obvious that taxpayers should not be required to cover expenses that the non-custodial parent should be paying. However, again, we are both custodial parents, and, either way, I need assistance...

I hope I clarified my stance a little better. Best wishes and happy holidays.

Mom, that really doesn't change the answer.

The very second you apply for certain types of state aid, the state will require you to name the father and file for child support.

The state won't care what you've filed with the court.

 

[mistoffolees]

I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure if you understand where I'm coming from. We are both taking care of him; everything is 50/50. All expenses are cut directly in half; I'm responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that I have him and his father is responsible for our son's expenses on the weeks that he has him. Any irregular expense (medicine, etc.) is also split in half. We do not wish to have only one parent caring for him. We feel that it is a man and a woman who create a child; therefore, both should be raising that child equally. It is not the child's fault that the parents' relationship did not survive, after all. That said, as I mentioned in my original posting, we wish to file our arrangement legally, showing that both of us have equal custody of our son, therefore no exchange of funds is necessary.

If I had sole custody of our son, then yes, it's apparent that I would need to file for child support, as his father would not be "supporting" our child otherwise. Likewise, if he were caring for our son the majority of the time, I would be responsible for providing funding for our son's care. It's quite obvious that taxpayers should not be required to cover expenses that the non-custodial parent should be paying. However, again, we are both custodial parents, and, either way, I need assistance...

I hope I clarified my stance a little better. Best wishes and happy holidays.

You're telling two different stories.

If you each are able to support the child during your time and have no need of state aid, then you can do what you wish. Submit a plan to the court with 50:50 timeshare and no child support. The court will accept it.

But if one of you has to file for state aid, then it is no longer true that you're supporting your child. It then becomes the taxpayers who are supporting the child during that parent's time - and the taxpayers will want the other parent to step up to the plate.