Witholding Child Support

[Tia0816]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Montgomery County, PA

I have had primary physical custody of my son for 10 years now. He is now 17 and a senior in High School. On August 31, 2011, I was laid off due to our branch office closing. I was unable to afford the condo I was renting and my landlord allowed me to break the lease and leave in early September. I had no option but to move my son and I to my sisters home (out of the school district), until I found a cheaper place to live. This was supposed to be temporary. In the meantime, my son is staying with his best friend on school nights. He has been in the same district since kindergarten. He refused to live with his father because as a Senior did not want to change schools and also in a recent argument, his father pushed him and also recently had a DUI which makes me nervous. Other than living out of our car, this temporary situation seemed best. Now, I have learned that within a week of my move, my ex husband has filed a petition to modify, telling me that what I am doing is illegal and basically scaring me to death. Do I have any options here? My support has stopped even though I am still providing food, clothing and trying to ease the burden of my sons stay by giving whatever I can to the parents. Now, I will never afford a place. Any advice would be appreciated.

And please consider, I was hoping to be out of my sisters and back into our own place within a couple of weeks. I just needed some time to find something. I am afraid I will lose my son now.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Montgomery County, PA

I have had primary physical custody of my son for 10 years now. He is now 17 and a senior in High School. On August 31, 2011, I was laid off due to our branch office closing. I was unable to afford the condo I was renting and my landlord allowed me to break the lease and leave in early September. I had no option but to move my son and I to my sisters home (out of the school district), until I found a cheaper place to live. This was supposed to be temporary. In the meantime, my son is staying with his best friend on school nights. He has been in the same district since kindergarten. He refused to live with his father because as a Senior did not want to change schools and also in a recent argument, his father pushed him and also recently had a DUI which makes me nervous. Other than living out of our car, this temporary situation seemed best. Now, I have learned that within a week of my move, my ex husband has filed a petition to modify, telling me that what I am doing is illegal and basically scaring me to death. Do I have any options here? My support has stopped even though I am still providing food, clothing and trying to ease the burden of my sons stay by giving whatever I can to the parents. Now, I will never afford a place. Any advice would be appreciated.

And please consider, I was hoping to be out of my sisters and back into our own place within a couple of weeks. I just needed some time to find something. I am afraid I will lose my son now.

Your best option is to get back into your own place inside the school district ASAP. Chances are that your husband's petition will take a while to work through the courts and if you're back in your own place in the school district by then, you should be OK.

The rules are simple. He has to continue to pay child support until a court order says otherwise. If he stops paying, you can file for contempt.

If you have permanently given up the child, then he could argue that CS should be stopped (and there would be a decent chance of that). If, OTOH, you are only letting the child stay with the other family for a few weeks while you get settled into a different place, Dad is unlikely to win-and will owe you back support.

So, first job is to get settled back into your school district. Then, you can file for contempt for non-payment of CS.

Last piece of advice: do not EVER take legal advice from your ex. He is not on your side. What you are doing is NOT illegal. Yes, Dad could get an order to terminate CS. He might even get an order to change custody (and if you had file abuse charges when he pushed the son, even that would be unlikely). But it's not illegal.

Could you get in trouble with Dad? Not really. Worst case:
- Dad wins his motion to modify and gets custody. However, it is unlikely that this will happen before at least January or February at the earliest.
- Dad wins the right to stop paying CS - but since he's not paying you now, that is irrelevant
- You could end up losing custody for the last few months of senior year.

The only real place where you might get in trouble is with the school district. You are the custodial parent and you live outside the district. Having the kid spend the nights at a friend's house doesn't really change that. So you could be violating a school district rule - and might end up paying tuition. Another good reason to get moved back quickly enough that you can say that you intended to stay in the district and the move was only temporary.

 

[Tia0816]

Thank you for responding so quickly. Me ex said that when he called domestic relations and told them the story, THEY filed the petition and withheld support. As far as getting back into the district, it won't happen without the support and I am having no luck on my job search.

It looks like he will win this one. My son will lose big time. If I could convince him to drop it, for my sons sake, would the courts allow this? I know he harassed and bullied me until I dropped my request for alimony and I was able to just call and cancel the hearing.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you for responding so quickly. Me ex said that when he called domestic relations and told them the story, THEY filed the petition and withheld support.

If I were you, I'd head down to 'domestic relations' and tell them your side of the story. I don't believe they can simply stop support without some type of administrative hearing.

As far as getting back into the district, it won't happen without the support and I am having no luck on my job search.

I'd keep trying. Do you have a friend you can stay with? You said that you hoped to be out of your sister's place in a couple of weeks.

It looks like he will win this one. My son will lose big time. If I could convince him to drop it, for my sons sake, would the courts allow this? I know he harassed and bullied me until I dropped my request for alimony and I was able to just call and cancel the hearing.

If you convince him to drop it, the courts aren't even going to get involved. However, if the school district finds out, they could still expel the child - or charge you tuition. You really need to get back into the district.

 

[Tia0816]

Thank you again. I will work on him and check into the schools tuition policy just in case. You have been a huge help. Maybe if he knows its hurting his son and I just waive support, he will leave it alone.