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Woman on Child Support?

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enrique0012

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Hello all. Im aware this is a yes but just to be sure, can I put my son's mother in child support? Yes you read that correctly.

My son will be 4 this month, and he has never left my side since she gave birth. Long story short, me and his mother split when he turned one, he stood with me and last week we finally settled everything in court where I would remain the residential and custodial parent, and she would remain seeing him only on the weekends(Friday night to Sunday afternoon).

3 months ago in September when she received the letter in the mail that I would be taking her to court for custody of my son, she became malicious and decided to not help out financially at all. Prior to this I opted NOT to put her on child support because she was just about to give birth to twins with another man and I took pity on her, worse decision ever.

Needless to say child care for my son is 400 a month, once she got that letter her half just stopped and she told me she wouldn't help. She works now again and still does not help whatsoever with anything.

Tuesday I am planning on going back to place on her child support. I just want to make sure the judge in the future won't pull some rabbit out his hat for her side because I know once she gets the new letter in the mail then all of a sudden she will want to help.

I have kept my receipts from child care since September proving I have paid it myself. Granted I make a lot more money than she does, but it is besides the point that she has an obligation and responsibility to her son and after that court letter she has blantetly not helped.

Any advice?
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Hello all. Im aware this is a yes but just to be sure, can I put my son's mother in child support? Yes you read that correctly.

My son will be 4 this month, and he has never left my side since she gave birth. Long story short, me and his mother split when he turned one, he stood with me and last week we finally settled everything in court where I would remain the residential and custodial parent, and she would remain seeing him only on the weekends(Friday night to Sunday afternoon).

3 months ago in September when she received the letter in the mail that I would be taking her to court for custody of my son, she became malicious and decided to not help out financially at all. Prior to this I opted NOT to put her on child support because she was just about to give birth to twins with another man and I took pity on her, worse decision ever.

Needless to say child care for my son is 400 a month, once she got that letter her half just stopped and she told me she wouldn't help. She works now again and still does not help whatsoever with anything.

Tuesday I am planning on going back to place on her child support. I just want to make sure the judge in the future won't pull some rabbit out his hat for her side because I know once she gets the new letter in the mail then all of a sudden she will want to help.

I have kept my receipts from child care since September proving I have paid it myself. Granted I make a lot more money than she does, but it is besides the point that she has an obligation and responsibility to her son and after that court letter she has blantetly not helped.

Any advice?
Of course you can file for child support.

A quick question though - exactly how many overnights does Mom have? Is she consistent?
 

enrique0012

Junior Member
Of course you can file for child support.

A quick question though - exactly how many overnights does Mom have? Is she consistent?
The purpose of the court order was because of her inconsistency. This is her first week being "consistent" since there is now a legal order in place. She was helping before September but again once she received the letter she changed.

Before the court date, I asked her if she has any intention on helping me, that I've been very patient with her with paying the baby sitter myself, she ignored me through text, then when we spoke on the phone I asked her and she told me she wasn't helping me with anything going forward.
 

enrique0012

Junior Member
And for the overnight question she has him Friday night and Saturday nights, with her returning him back to me Sunday afternoon.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The purpose of the court order was because of her inconsistency. This is her first week being "consistent" since there is now a legal order in place. She was helping before September but again once she received the letter she changed.

Before the court date, I asked her if she has any intention on helping me, that I've been very patient with her with paying the baby sitter myself, she ignored me through text, then when we spoke on the phone I asked her and she told me she wasn't helping me with anything going forward.
She is not required to help you financially absent a court order to do so.
 

CJane

Senior Member
She is not required to help you financially absent a court order to do so.
Nor is she legally required to be consistent with visits - ever.

Also, the court no longer cares - legally - about anything that happened before the court order. However, depending on the wording of the order, you may have lost out on the ability to ask for child support for a statutorily specified amount of time.
 

enrique0012

Junior Member
Nor is she legally required to be consistent with visits - ever.

Also, the court no longer cares - legally - about anything that happened before the court order. However, depending on the wording of the order, you may have lost out on the ability to ask for child support for a statutorily specified amount of time.
What exactly do you mean by that? I would like to know.
 

enrique0012

Junior Member
What do I mean by what?
"However, depending on the wording of the order, you may have lost out on the ability to ask for child support for a statutorily specified amount of time."

How and why?? Because I'm sure if the gender roles were flipped I would have been hung by now.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
"However, depending on the wording of the order, you may have lost out on the ability to ask for child support for a statutorily specified amount of time."

How and why?? Because I'm sure if the gender roles were flipped I would have been hung by now.
It has nothing to do with gender ( :rolleyes: ). It has to do with being restricted from coming back to court every other month to have child support revisited.
 

SESmama

Member
Of course NJ is a shared income model so depending on how MUCH more you make you may not get any CS from the mother. It really depends. Use the calculator provided by the state of NJ and get an estimate

http://www.njchildsupport.org/
 

CJane

Senior Member
"However, depending on the wording of the order, you may have lost out on the ability to ask for child support for a statutorily specified amount of time."

How and why?? Because I'm sure if the gender roles were flipped I would have been hung by now.
Many states allow a parent to seek a modification to child support only every 3 or so years. So, if for example your order says that child support is waived, any attempt to "put Mom on child support" would have to wait until a modification period came up again. Or if for example your order says that child support is $0, again, you'd have to wait to modify that amount.

If you order is silent (which means it doesn't mention child support at all) you may be able to file for an administrative order through the state. Information regarding that would be online. But, as stealth said, depending on the disparity in incomes there's no guarantee you'll get an order in your favor.
 

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