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woman wont allow dna test, could i be the father?

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phatmale

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ottawa county in Michigan

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last summer i had an affair with an married woman, we had sex in september around the 16th, and then we made out on the 6th of october[no intercourse] and she was bleeding she said it was her period although i know she is on a irregular cycle since she don't take her BC daily and only after having sex. she claimed at the time she didn't want to keep fooling around with me since her and her husband were beginning to make up for the fighting they've bee going through.
we later found out she was pregnant. in early december she announced to everyone that she was approx 6 weeks along, so meaning she got conceived late october? her due date from what she was telling everyone was july 12th. when she first told me she was pregnant, i asked if there could be a chance it could be mine and she got very quiet for atleast 20 seconds on the phone, that was just before she got an ultrasound done to determine approximately how far along she could be.
anyways, 40 weeks after the last time her and i had sex she pops out a beautiful baby girl. three weeks before her due date and two weeks before she was scheduled to have a c-section, since her previous two children were delivered through c-section.
there is a chance that she did have her early. she weighed 6pounds 4onces and a length of 20inches. i'd say full term, atleast 37 weeks if not further. i've done research and on average 20 inches is normal for a 39 week baby weighing slightly heavier. i know for a fact she did not eat much during pregnancy and if what she ate was not nutritional for either of them.
i posted the baby pictures that i was able to locate of her new baby and few of me when i was a baby in a private album on facebook and shared with few friends, almost everyone had claimed she looked alot like me in those pictures. some friends have briefly seen her and said their not sure and that its to early to tell. ive only had one recently say she looking similar to their 7yr old daughter and the profile of her husband from the side. i have not been able to hold or see the baby since she was born, now being two weeks old i need to determine my goal. i'd really like to get dna test done, however she even refused her husband to getting a dna test done while at hospital, although i heard he was demanding it during pregnancy cause had a hunch on our affair although she said we never did anything like that, that we kissed and held hands from time to time. still cheated on her husband either way you want to look at it.
she has lied before and i wouldn't be surprised if she has lied to everyone about something else. obviously wont admit to her affair to her husband and that there could be a chance that her daughter could be mine. i know that ultrasounds aren't 100% accurate and that she could have came early. although i know her past two children came almost on their due date and yet this child would come much earlier.

after all that, i'm just curious on what your opinion of who the possible father could be?
i'd love for the daughter to be mine and i know my parents would love a grand child whenever that day comes along.
 


cyjeff

Senior Member
We aren't doctors.

Whom the baby looks like means absolutely nothing.

If you want to establish paternity, you sue in court for it and demand a DNA test.
 

phatmale

Junior Member
according to cyjeff, your assuming that she could look nothing like me and possibly still be my daughter. i know most of us aren't doctors, i'm just trying to get opinions from others that may have gone through the same issue.

anyways, just get the dna test done through the courts and hope for the results to come out in my favor..
 

Rushia

Senior Member
your kids havent shown facial features similar to you or your partner?
the eyes, nose or ears..
It doesn't mean anything. Some children simply look like neither of their parents. My oldest is a carbon copy of me, looks nothing like his father. My daughter looks like my sister exactly. My youngest is a good blend of me and his father. None of them look like they did when they were born. DNA is the only way to be sure. Heck, my husband looks nothing like his father or his mother. He DOES look like his grandfather though.
 

ajs09876

Member
This guy might run into some problems with estabishing paternity. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but if this woman was married at the time of conception and birth of the child the woman's husband would be the legal father. In Michigan, this guy would have no standing to request a DNA test. The only way to get a test would be if and when the woman and the husband file for divorce the husband would have to challenge paternity. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
 

phatmale

Junior Member
This guy might run into some problems with estabishing paternity. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but if this woman was married at the time of conception and birth of the child the woman's husband would be the legal father. In Michigan, this guy would have no standing to request a DNA test. The only way to get a test would be if and when the woman and the husband file for divorce the husband would have to challenge paternity. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
i haven't actually talked to anyone in the courthouse yet, however some of my friends have heard of similar issues where they were able to take it to court and be able to fight for dna test. although understandably this would ruin their marriage if i proceed, i know they argue and he yells at the children like dogs alot. if she came back being my daughter i would be much better father than him in a million years.
 

Rushia

Senior Member
i haven't actually talked to anyone in the courthouse yet, however some of my friends have heard of similar issues where they were able to take it to court and be able to fight for dna test. although understandably this would ruin their marriage if i proceed, i know they argue and he yells at the children like dogs alot. if she came back being my daughter i would be much better father than him in a million years.
It would be in your best interests to check out your state's statutes as there are some states that wouldn't allow you to interject yourself in a married situation.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
i haven't actually talked to anyone in the courthouse yet, however some of my friends have heard of similar issues where they were able to take it to court and be able to fight for dna test. although understandably this would ruin their marriage if i proceed, i know they argue and he yells at the children like dogs alot. if she came back being my daughter i would be much better father than him in a million years.
Is that what your cheating lover told you? What makes you think she's telling the truth?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
This guy might run into some problems with estabishing paternity. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but if this woman was married at the time of conception and birth of the child the woman's husband would be the legal father. In Michigan, this guy would have no standing to request a DNA test. The only way to get a test would be if and when the woman and the husband file for divorce the husband would have to challenge paternity. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
Two points:

MI law is vague and doesn't appear to PREVENT the OP from requesting the test.

There are bills in progress to amend the current MI law so that our OP would CLEARLY have the right to request the DNA testing. Of course, that doesn't help the OP right now...but if it passes in a year or two, OP can THEN seek it based on the new law (assuming he was prevented from doing it earlier.)
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
Again... what the child looks like means NOTHING.

My stepdaughter and I used to get huge laughs when people would say she looked like me.... because there wasn't a single one of my genes in her pool.

File for paternity. Prepare to pay for testing... and child support. If you are the father, file for custody/visitation.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
My mom was apparently routinely asked where they adopted me from. I looked nothing like either of my parents until I was an adult. The one wedding photo I will never throw out is of the two of us - we look like mirror images, except for our clothes & hair. I was in white with dark hair, and he was in black with white hair. And now, as I continue to age? I look more like my Mom every day. Sigh...
 
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