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luvudad2010

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Hello I'm new to this. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my message.

I live in Ohio and I’m the youngest of 5 and I’m the POA. I have 4 older brothers with 3 of them being married and all living in Ohio as well. I live the furthest away, about 2 hrs, while my 4 brothers are all within 25 min. from my parent’s home. I’m dealing with a complex situation that involves my oldest brother creating turmoil and grief for our entire family and impeding with what is most important, proper care for my elderly father (88 yrs old) who wants to sell his home so he can afford to go into a facility that would best suit his needs.

My oldest brother (currently 56 yrs. old) got divorced moved back into our parent’s home when he was approx 32 yrs old. Then 14 yrs later he moved out of my parent’s home to live with his girlfriend in a house he recently purchased. After a year or two, they broke up and my oldest brother found it easier just to live with Mom & Dad again. He kept the house he purchased and it was really convenient since his new home is less than a mile from our parent’s house. It’s fair to say he’s been living at our parent’s home now for 24 years...RENT FREE. And this is to my parent’s dismay since my brother owns 4 rental homes and a warehouse and is extremely lazy, selfish, and has issues with hoarding.

My brother has always claimed that he was living in my parent’s home because he was there “taking care of them.” He may have taken them to a few doctor appointments and maybe ran a few errands, but that is the extent of it. My Dad still did 100% of the home maintenance, including mowing the grass at his house and also for my brother at his rentals (free of charge), did the grocery shopping and my mother who was suffering from breast cancer did the laundry, cooking and cleaning. Over the span of many years, whenever I would visit my parents I expected to take several hours to clean the house, do laundry, work in the yard, etc. I would be steaming mad the entire time because most of the mess I was cleaning was my brothers!

To make matters worse is that my oldest brother’s warehouse property was purchased by means of my parents taking out a mortgage on their own home that was free and clear. They did this with my brother’s intent of paying them back because the property was a great deal and it had the potential for a minimum of 3 tenants so once rented it would easily pay for itself. My parents have paid the mortgage and interest on it since day one (over $70K to date and there is still $65K owed on the mortgage). There was no agreement or contract signed by my parents or brother – just my brother verbally saying “I’ll pay you back.” He’s never rented out the warehouse property, except for the small ranch house to a friend for cheap rent for maybe 6 months. Oh, and he pocketed that money! Now my older brother has a property clear and free (even though it sits empty with no attempt to rent it), while my parents have a mortgage to contend with…

Sadly, we lost mom 4 years ago… and things really got bad. Dad started to really slow down, would lose his balance a lot, and I had concerns about his nutrition since I’d find moldy and expired food in the refrigerator. His medications were a huge concern since there are 14 prescriptions to keep track of and I would find random pills on the floor where Dad would drop them and not even know it. Of course, my brother didn’t help out with that. So a family friend that lives in neighborhood stepped in to monitor everything that had to do with his prescriptions. She has been an angel and close friend to my Dad and her intentions are truly about Dad’s health and well-being. My brother is rude to her because I think he feels threatened by her and feels she’s trying to get my Dad to move into the same Independent Living Facility as her Mom, just so she can get a kickback. My brother is against the concept of moving my Dad there as he feels it’s a rip-off for $1750 a month for a studio apartment for “Dad to sit-around with a bunch of old ladies.” My brother apparently went to the facility to see it and I guess gave the staff a hard time. Now at this point, our family friend refuses to go to my Dad’s house as long as my older brother is staying there because of how poorly he treats her.

I’ve offered for my Dad to move in with me and my fiancé, but he refuses to leave his hometown where all his doctors, friends, and family are. We’ve had Dad living with my two younger brothers for the last year and I would take Dad for a week or so each month when possible. My other brother already has is mother-in-law living suffering from Alzheimer’s and is (understandingly) being aloof to the situation with Dad. We are outraged over my oldest brother’s behavior and lack of action. My father has told him to move out of the house so we can get it sold, but he won’t. We’ve given him a few dates verbally of when we’d like him to move out and those days have come and have gone. We’ve been to the house to throw away junk and to work on house maintenance. With my brother being a hoarder, it’s very difficult because when we go back to the house we find new junk in its place and he argues with us over every item we want to dispose of.

In the last year, my oldest brother has enjoyed the comforts of my Dad’s home. He regularly has his girlfriend over, fixes her car in the driveway leaving oils stains, (Note: My Dad has to pay a local mechanic to fix his car), and he’s been able to move his corvette out of storage to take my Dad’s spot in the garage. And I forgot to mention my older brother has assumed possession of my Dad’s truck (it’s been about 6 yrs and Dad pays for the maintenance, registration, insurance, etc.). It’s been a nice ride on the gravy train since my Dad still pays 100% of all the utility costs, taxes, and insurance! Dad’s house needed a new water heater and his friend helped him out in purchasing the right one. The water heater was sitting in the garage for my oldest brother to install, but in the meantime one of his rentals desperately needed a hot water heater since it broke, so without permission he took Dad’s water heater and installed in his own property.

We finally took steps to revoke my oldest brother as POA and now that I have control over my Dad’s finances, I’ve analyzed his income/expenses and put together a budget. In the process, I have found my brother was dipping into my Dad’s checking account as I found cancelled checks dated from 2000 to current that total over $50K. In the memo of the checks, it included items such as my brother’s children’s college tuition (my parent’s grandchildren’s), property taxes, etc. When I asked my Dad about it, he said that he promised to pay him back. I don’t have kids, but I sure bet my other brother’s kids (6 other grandchildren) wished grandpa would have paid for their college education! What it boils down to is Dad is breaking even each month, so in order to go to a senior care facility he will need to use his savings (he has about $10K). This won’t last long!!! So we need to sell the house so we can use his hard earned money for HIS CARE. The house is maybe worth $130K, off the top will come the mortgage owed ~ which is for my brother’s warehouse & ranch home). It’s so sickening because my Dad shouldn’t even be in this position to have to worry about money if it wasn’t for my brother being greedy and self-serving.

Dad knows that he has been taken advantage of and is sick over it. All his words to my brother go in one ear and out the other. This makes me so sad for my Dad because he’s worked so hard all his life and has done so much for my oldest brother. It’s just heart wrenching. My Dad just wants him to do what is right and keeps thinking he’ll come around and keep his word about getting his stuff out and the house fixed up and sold. And my oldest brother is his “first-born.” I’m just worried if push comes to shove, will my Dad be on board to take a more drastic approach?

What legal civil action or ground do you think I have against my older brother? Any chance we can re-coup any monies owed to my Dad or the estate? How do we get him to leave Dad’s home amicably?

I realize I need to speak with an attorney that specializes in elderly law, family estate planning, with some real estate practice under their belt. As for the other issues with my brother, I don’t know if I we have a leg to stand on or if there is someone that can help us?

So glad to have finally got that off my chest!!!! Any/all feedback is appreciated.

Signed,
For my Dad’s Best Interest
 
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latigo

Senior Member
Blah, blah, blah . . . . and more blah, blah . . . . then finally a Question:

"What legal civil action or ground do you think I have against my older brother?"
Answer: None whatsoever.

Anything else?
 

tranquility

Senior Member
I really, really HATE to agree with such a snippy reply, but, um, I agree with latigo.

While there may be something here on a lot of issues, it seems more of a family fight than a legal one.
 

latigo

Senior Member
Anyone who takes the time to wade through that self-serving, aren't-I-the epitome-of-a-selfless-offspring babble and comes out "snippless" is probably running for office.
 

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