Being threatened with litigation

[bmisericorde]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Long story short: Was in a relationship for 10 years. We have a mortgage together and had a joint bank account. When we split up, she agreed (verbally) to live in the house and pay the mortgage, while I moved out of state. After about two months of living there, she stopped paying the mortgage, sending it in default. Since the bank was sending mail to both of us at the house, she received all the mail about the past due payments.

She had intended to have the house foreclosed upon without my knowledge. I found out by luck because a friend mentioned he heard she was moving out. By the time I found out about it, it was 3 and a half months overdue. I paid a payment out of pocket, then negotiated with the mortgage company to catch up on the past due amounts while I looked for renters to put in the house. By the time she vacated the house, she had been living there for over 4 months without paying a dime. She also left it a complete mess, it took four people 4 hours to clean it.

So, as I'm paying the past due amounts, which was ~$350 x 4 payments + late fees, about $1500, I notice she is still using our joint account.
I waited until she deposited her tax return in it ($1300), took $800 from that and gave it to the mortgage company, catching up with all the payments. This was about 2 months ago. She texted me last night saying if I didn't return the $800 or give her half the money from the renters I'd be hearing from her lawyer.

First, I don't think she has a lawyer, and if she does, I don't think the lawyer knows the whole story. For example, she brought in a roommate "to help pay the mortgage" (which didn't get paid).
Second, it was a joint account over 6 years old that we had both used. Just because the last amount that landed in the account was her tax return, I don't see it as "hers".
Third, she owed that money to the mortgage company anyway.
Finally, I'm not making a profit on the rent. They are paying the exact amount of the mortgage payment.

Does she have a chance in court with this? She left me with either "use her tax return to pay the mortgage" or "foreclosure, then bankruptcy". Honestly, I feel like I should have taken the whole $1300, plus $200 from her direct deposited paycheck. If she pursues this, I intend to countersue for the remaining $700 I paid out of pocket. I'm trying to get my life together and move on, while she is shirking her responsibilities. Which is typical, we split because she developed a drug problem.

 

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Long story short: Was in a relationship for 10 years. We have a mortgage together and had a joint bank account. When we split up, she agreed (verbally) to live in the house and pay the mortgage, while I moved out of state. After about two months of living there, she stopped paying the mortgage, sending it in default. Since the bank was sending mail to both of us at the house, she received all the mail about the past due payments.

She had intended to have the house foreclosed upon without my knowledge. I found out by luck because a friend mentioned he heard she was moving out. By the time I found out about it, it was 3 and a half months overdue. I paid a payment out of pocket, then negotiated with the mortgage company to catch up on the past due amounts while I looked for renters to put in the house. By the time she vacated the house, she had been living there for over 4 months without paying a dime. She also left it a complete mess, it took four people 4 hours to clean it.

So, as I'm paying the past due amounts, which was ~$350 x 4 payments + late fees, about $1500, I notice she is still using our joint account.
I waited until she deposited her tax return in it ($1300), took $800 from that and gave it to the mortgage company, catching up with all the payments. This was about 2 months ago. She texted me last night saying if I didn't return the $800 or give her half the money from the renters I'd be hearing from her lawyer.

First, I don't think she has a lawyer, and if she does, I don't think the lawyer knows the whole story. For example, she brought in a roommate "to help pay the mortgage" (which didn't get paid).
Second, it was a joint account over 6 years old that we had both used. Just because the last amount that landed in the account was her tax return, I don't see it as "hers".
Third, she owed that money to the mortgage company anyway.
Finally, I'm not making a profit on the rent. They are paying the exact amount of the mortgage payment.

Does she have a chance in court with this? She left me with either "use her tax return to pay the mortgage" or "foreclosure, then bankruptcy". Honestly, I feel like I should have taken the whole $1300, plus $200 from her direct deposited paycheck. If she pursues this, I intend to countersue for the remaining $700 I paid out of pocket. I'm trying to get my life together and move on, while she is shirking her responsibilities. Which is typical, we split because she developed a drug problem.

Wow....sharing a bank account after a nasty breakup? That's insane
Not getting the assets dealt with legally at the time of the breakup? That's even more insane

Hon, you made some significant bad decisions...
Wow, just wow!

 

[bmisericorde]

Wow....sharing a bank account after a nasty breakup? That's insane
Not getting the assets dealt with legally at the time of the breakup? That's even more insane

Hon, you made some significant bad decisions...
Wow, just wow!

Well duh I made bad decisions. I know that. That doesn't help me much. But, to address your concerns: We weren't sharing the bank account. I attempted to remove her name from it, and the bank said I "could not remove a name from it, only close it" - I was nice enough to let her use it (her paycheck was direct deposit into that account) and requested that she get a new one so I could close it. She kept using it and forgot that I was the owner of the account.

As for the assets... the mortgage was only a year old. There was no way out of it except foreclosure - we couldn't refinance with a single party; we barely qualified coupled. The mortgage payment is less than the rent of most apartments in that town, so it was completely sensible to have one person living there. She only decided to move out because she couldn't juggle her drug problem and bills. And that isn't a joke, she is now engaged to her dealer.

Also, there was actually no nastiness when we first split. We were completely civil, then small things set her off. I took her off my car insurance and cell phone account and she kinda lost it.

 

[Proserpina]

So in basically "stealing" her tax refund, you've reduced yourself to her level? Just making sure I understand.

While I doubt she has any recourse, that was a really lame move on your part.

 

[bmisericorde]

So in basically "stealing" her tax refund, you've reduced yourself to her level? Just making sure I understand.

While I doubt she has any recourse, that was a really lame move on your part.

I suppose you could say that. But, in my defense, I was backed into a corner by her and saw an opportunity to save my credit and financial stability. And I only took what I needed to satisfy the past due payments.

 

[Mark Maroon]

Wow....sharing a bank account after a nasty breakup? That's insane
Not getting the assets dealt with legally at the time of the breakup? That's even more insane
Hon, you made some significant bad decisions...
Wow, just wow!

Yeah, I don't know what kind of asset the home is (do you have a lot of equity in it, or is it under water, etcetera), but I think you should be more concerned with getting sole legal possession of the home and getting the mortgage in your name only. You don't want to keep the mortgage current for 30 years, own the home free and clear, and then when you try to sell it have her come out of the woodwork and insist that she is owed half of the proceeds from the sale. I think you want to get her off the title and the mortgage ASAP. Perhaps you could offer to pay her back what you took from the joint bank account if in exchange she will agree to remove her name from the title and the mortgage (make sure that she performs first before you pay her). I guess so long as you are not depositing anything into the joint bank account you don't have toooo much to worry about there, but you would still be liable if she did something crazy like withdrew more than is in the account (you might be liable for such an act if the joint account has overdraft protection associated with some other account that is in your name that you deposit money into), so you might want to get yourself off the joint account on your own.

 

[bmisericorde]

Yeah, I don't know what kind of asset the home is (do you have a lot of equity in it, or is it under water, etcetera), but I think you should be more concerned with getting sole legal possession of the home and getting the mortgage in your name only. You don't want to keep the mortgage current for 30 years, own the home free and clear, and then when you try to sell it have her come out of the woodwork and insist that she is owed half of the proceeds from the sale. I think you want to get her off the title and the mortgage ASAP. Perhaps you could offer to pay her back what you took from the joint bank account if in exchange she will agree to remove her name from the title and the mortgage (make sure that she performs first before you pay her). I guess so long as you are not depositing anything into the joint bank account you don't have toooo much to worry about there, but you would still be liable if she did something crazy like withdrew more than is in the account (you might be liable for such an act if the joint account has overdraft protection associated with some other account that is in your name that you deposit money into), so you might want to get yourself off the joint account on your own.

That seems like good advice. I did close the account the same day after I withdrew the $800, and told her she had a few hours to get what was left out of it.
I don't immediately have the money to buy her out of it, but what if I bought her out, she signed a quit claim to it, and then turned around and attempted to sue regardless of it?
Could I get on paper that she give up all rights to litigation regarding her tax return? Of course, that's also assuming she has any legal recourse at all. Which, based on the answers so far, I'm guessing she doesn't.

 

[Mark Maroon]

That seems like good advice. I did close the account the same day after I withdrew the $800, and told her she had a few hours to get what was left out of it.
I don't immediately have the money to buy her out of it, but what if I bought her out, she signed a quit claim to it, and then turned around and attempted to sue regardless of it?
Could I get on paper that she give up all rights to litigation regarding her tax return? Of course, that's also assuming she has any legal recourse at all. Which, based on the answers so far, I'm guessing she doesn't.

I have never been involved in a quit claim, but I have been involved in lots of settlement agreements. You can have the agreement say whatever you both can agree to. I think you want to have her to sign an agreement that states something like as follows: (1) she will sign a quit claim to the title on the house and she agrees to forgo any claims that she might have to any assets related to the house, THEN following that, (2) you will pay her $xxx.xx (or perhaps $xxx.xx each month for x months), THEN following that, (3) both parties agree not to sue each other for any cause of action related in any way to the house or to the joint bank account. Go with her to a notary to get her signature and yours on the quit claim and the agreement.

 

[bmisericorde]

I have never been involved in a quit claim, but I have been involved in lots of settlement agreements. You can have the agreement say whatever you both can agree to. I think you want to have her to sign an agreement that states something like as follows: (1) she will sign a quit claim to the title on the house and she agrees to forgo any claims that she might have to any assets related to the house, THEN following that, (2) you will pay her $xxx.xx (or perhaps $xxx.xx each month for x months), THEN following that, (3) both parties agree not to sue each other for any cause of action related in any way to the house or to the joint bank account. Go with her to a notary to get her signature and yours on the quit claim and the agreement.

I appreciate your input. Hopefully I can reason with her. She had already stated she wanted to be free of the home and I'm sure the money she feels she is owed would be a good motivator.