biological mother forced to sign consent for minor kids to travel int'l w/ stranger

[Ramsee]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

A judge in a family court issue has just ruled that I must sign--against my will--an international consent form for my children (ages 6 and 8) to travel across international boundaries with anyone their father chooses in order to vacation with their father in Europe.

He wants his newish girlfriend to escort the children to Europe to join him this summer, and I know very little about her, except that they have been dating for under a year and that she is from a rich family in Brazil. I have never seen her and don't even know her last name or phone number--and he won't provide. He says she has an American passport, but I have no confirmation. I am very uncomfortable with the judge's "trust the father" ruling and believe it violates my rights to know who my children are with and to know why this person might/might not be safe. Aren't at least some credentialing provisions called for?

Question: has this family law judge over stepped any international or civil laws in making this judgement? She's new to the bench. Do you have any advice for me?

I have no peace of mind.

Thank you.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

No, you are overstepping by trying to restrict and control what the father does with the children during his parenting time. You have no 'rights' to decide what dad does with the children during his time with them, step back, would you want DAD to decide everyone you bring the children around?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Should you be required to file the credentials of every person you bring your children into contact with also? How does the court know everyone you take them around is safe?

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

A judge in a family court issue has just ruled that I must sign--against my will--an international consent form for my children (ages 6 and 8) to travel across international boundaries with anyone their father chooses in order to vacation with their father in Europe.

He wants his newish girlfriend to escort the children to Europe to join him this summer, and I know very little about her, except that they have been dating for under a year and that she is from a rich family in Brazil. I have never seen her and don't even know her last name or phone number--and he won't provide. He says she has an American passport, but I have no confirmation. I am very uncomfortable with the judge's "trust the father" ruling and believe it violates my rights to know who my children are with and to know why this person might/might not be safe. Aren't at least some credentialing provisions called for?

Question: has this family law judge over stepped any international or civil laws in making this judgement? She's new to the bench. Do you have any advice for me?

I have no peace of mind.

Thank you.

Nope, the judge has not overstepped at all and none of your rights have been violated (largely because you don't have any in this situation).

The court trusts both of you to make sure the child is safe. It doesn't matter if she has an American, Fijian or Timbuktuvian passport. When it comes down to the minutiae, you don't even have the right to know who is around during his parenting time or anything about them - that's entirely up to him.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

I agree with everything above, but can a judge 'force' her to sign the consent form? I'm sure he can give her an ultimatum "Sign this or i am going to charge you with contempt and parental Alienation", but that's not really 'forcing' her, right, she can still make the choice not to sign.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The judge could also give her 3 hots n a cot to have time to think about it.

I agree with everything above, but can a judge 'force' her to sign the consent form? I'm sure he can give her an ultimatum "Sign this or i am going to charge you with contempt and parental Alienation", but that's not really 'forcing' her, right, she can still make the choice not to sign.

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

I agree with everything above, but can a judge 'force' her to sign the consent form? I'm sure he can give her an ultimatum "Sign this or i am going to charge you with contempt and parental Alienation", but that's not really 'forcing' her, right, she can still make the choice not to sign.

He can't physically restrain her and force the pen to paper, if that's what you meant.

But he can certainly remove legal (decision-making) custody from her entirely so that Dad doesn't have to deal with it again.

There are some instances in which the non-vacationing parent has valid concerns. Visiting Dad in Iraq, for example. But not knowing or liking the girlfriend? Not so much. And while a complete switch in legal custody over just one issue isn't too common, the passport issue is up there on the list of "Yeah..okay, this parent needs to not have decision-making for this child" reasons.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

A judge in a family court issue has just ruled that I must sign--against my will--an international consent form for my children (ages 6 and 8) to travel across international boundaries with anyone their father chooses in order to vacation with their father in Europe.

He wants his newish girlfriend to escort the children to Europe to join him this summer, and I know very little about her, except that they have been dating for under a year and that she is from a rich family in Brazil. I have never seen her and don't even know her last name or phone number--and he won't provide. He says she has an American passport, but I have no confirmation. I am very uncomfortable with the judge's "trust the father" ruling and believe it violates my rights to know who my children are with and to know why this person might/might not be safe. Aren't at least some credentialing provisions called for?

Question: has this family law judge over stepped any international or civil laws in making this judgement? She's new to the bench. Do you have any advice for me?

I have no peace of mind.

Thank you.

A) You don't have the right to know your children are with.
B) Dad can allow who he wants around the children.
C) Do you provide the father with the name, address and telephone number of EVERY INDIVIDUAL the children have ever been around -- teachers, doctors, daycare workers, parents of your children's friend -- and inform dad of EVERY playdate the children have ever attended BEFORE they have attended?

You don't need peace of mind. What you need to realize is dad has rights as well and that he is a fit parent. As such he has a right to make decisions regarding his children. The court was invited into your lives when someone filed to custody/child support and whatever else was filed. The court therefore has the right to make these decisions. The judge has not overstepped anything. You however seem to want to be overcontrolling. My advice: Grow up and realize YOU CHOSE THIS MAN to be dad and he is equal to you in the eyes of the law when it comes to parenting. He has proven to the court that this vacation is fine. Your children therefore get to go to Europe. If you need peace of mind, find a counselor and engage in therapy.

 

[LdiJ]

A) You don't have the right to know your children are with.
B) Dad can allow who he wants around the children.
C) Do you provide the father with the name, address and telephone number of EVERY INDIVIDUAL the children have ever been around -- teachers, doctors, daycare workers, parents of your children's friend -- and inform dad of EVERY playdate the children have ever attended BEFORE they have attended?

You don't need peace of mind. What you need to realize is dad has rights as well and that he is a fit parent. As such he has a right to make decisions regarding his children. The court was invited into your lives when someone filed to custody/child support and whatever else was filed. The court therefore has the right to make these decisions. The judge has not overstepped anything. You however seem to want to be overcontrolling. My advice: Grow up and realize YOU CHOSE THIS MAN to be dad and he is equal to you in the eyes of the law when it comes to parenting. He has proven to the court that this vacation is fine. Your children therefore get to go to Europe. If you need peace of mind, find a counselor and engage in therapy.

There is of course one other alternative if mom truly is that scared about the whole issue. Mom can buy a ticket for herself and escort the children herself.

 

[TheGeekess]

I agree with everything above, but can a judge 'force' her to sign the consent form? I'm sure he can give her an ultimatum "Sign this or i am going to charge you with contempt and parental Alienation", but that's not really 'forcing' her, right, she can still make the choice not to sign.

I doubt that 'parental alienation' is something that a parent can be "charged with" by a judge.

You sure do like that phrase. Unfortunately, you use it incorrectly.

 

[SmokeyParkCop]

I doubt that 'parental alienation' is something that a parent can be "charged with" by a judge.

You sure do like that phrase. Unfortunately, you use it incorrectly.

Noo, i really don't. Second guessing dad's parenting style in front of the kids to the point you take him to court over it. Yah, that's a pretty fitting sign of attempting parental alienation.

Do you want me to post a definition of that term so you better understand it? I'm happy to help you learn! Maybe it will help you avoid court by showing you what behaviors are inappropriate.

 

[Ohiogal]

There is of course one other alternative if mom truly is that scared about the whole issue. Mom can buy a ticket for herself and escort the children herself.

If mom really wants to be a pain, the judge can give dad SOLE custody and then mom's permission is not necessary to get a passport or anything. Does mom want to risk that?

 

[TheGeekess]

Noo, i really don't. Second guessing dad's parenting style in front of the kids to the point you take him to court over it. Yah, that's a pretty fitting sign of attempting parental alienation.

Do you want me to post a definition of that term so you better understand it? I'm happy to help you learn! Maybe it will help you avoid court by showing you what behaviors are inappropriate.

I've gotten a father's parental rights terminated for 'parental alienation' (among other more horrifying things). Care to debate it further?

 

[LdiJ]

I've gotten a father's parental rights terminated for 'parental alienation' (among other more horrifying things). Care to debate it further?

Smokey gets most of his "legal advice" from a rabid father's rights forum, so unfortunately attempting to educate him on what things really mean is quite difficult.

 

[LdiJ]

Noo, i really don't. Second guessing dad's parenting style in front of the kids to the point you take him to court over it. Yah, that's a pretty fitting sign of attempting parental alienation.

Do you want me to post a definition of that term so you better understand it? I'm happy to help you learn! Maybe it will help you avoid court by showing you what behaviors are inappropriate.

First, there was not one single things in the original thread that indicated that anything had been mentioned in front of the children at all. So, not only are you using the phrase "parental alienation" once again, but you are making up facts to justify you using it.

Some day, some father is going to believe what you say, use the term parental alienation in court in a situation where its completely inappropriate, and total his own credibility with the judge. Can you live with that?