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  1. #1
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    Can I sue for fraud, emotional distress etc?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    California

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    This is a little long but PLEASE READ and help if you can.

    I have a bit of a complicated situation and REALLY need some help as I cannot afford a lawyer.

    A woman I had sex with once in 1990 had a child in 1991 but did not tell me about the child until 1994. I sued her for paternity and was awarded joint custody, visitation and I stipulated to paying $300 a month child support. I paid my child support every month until late 2000 with this woman and my daughter. disappeared. Not to bore anyone with details, but I thought I would be able to find her or would hear from her and did not want to drag the cops and courts into it. The court ordered me to pay the child support to her directly which I always did.

    As things happen time passed and I continued to try and find her to no avail. She had closed the bank account where my bank wired the child support to each month and the mother gave me nor the bank any forwarding address or contact information and did not contact me for the support. She was in violation of several stipulations of the court order. I realize now that I should have involved the courts and cops.

    I finally found them in early 2008. From 1994 until they disappeared I paid my child support each month. I contacted my daughter via a social media network in 2008 and then wrote her mother about seeing my daughter. I had lived out of state for many years at this time. We met and I had the opportunity to spend time with my daughter shortly thereafter in California. When the mother and I met I pulled her aside and told her we needed to discuss getting any an all issues resolved as we moved forward.

    I tried repeatedly to discuss these issues with the mother but she would not respond. In late 2009 I was contacted by San Diego County about back child support. It seems the mother went to the County in early 2008 after I had gone to California to see my daughter for the first time in 8 years and made false claims and signed documents stating that I had never paid her any child support and that I had only given her a total of $410 during all these years.

    I contacted the County on several occasions and told them she was lying and that I had paid support as ordered and that she had concealed my daughter from me for 8 years. They of course did not care what she had done and told me I have to prove I paid her. Luckily I am a pack rat and have been able to find almost all of the canceled checks and wire transfers and bank statements for the monies I paid all those years.

    They now have a $108,000 "judgment" on my credit and my passport has been revoked. I travel for my work. S

    OOO what is my question?

    Can I sue her for fraud, filing false documents, contempt of court and intentional infliction of emotional distress, defamation of character etc? And can I get the DA to press criminal charges against her as well for filing false documents and making false claims to government officials?

    Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

    Good Dad in a bad situation...
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    So when you submitted evidence to CSE that you'd paid the child support, what happened?

    What did you do to locate your child?
  3. #3
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    They sent a form to the mother who then again denied I had paid her and they told me she said that the copies of the checks etc. could be forged or created. I have to file for a phone hearing with the judge and resubmit all the canceled checks and wire transfers and bank statements.

    I am the man...so guilty until I prove myself innocent I guess. And no one really cares that she kidnapped my daughter for 8 years...

    My wife found her by total accident on my space...She searched my daughters name and it popped up...so I reached out to her...of course she had grown and was 17 when I was bale to make contact...
  4. #4
    Billy V is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34thebeach View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

    I have a bit of a complicated situation and REALLY need some help as I cannot afford a lawyer...

    They now have a $108,000 "judgment" on my credit and my passport has been revoked.

    Good Dad in a bad situation...
    Is this an actual judgment by the agency or a court? Sounds like the agency came to a finding that you owe 108K (which isn't that goofy when you add up ~40K of support over the time period which you did not pay).

    So you come here because you cannot afford a lawyer; I'll tell ya ~ you cannot afford NOT to get a lawyer.

    You maybe on the hook for $108K. Strange situation though so who knows? Go see a couple of lawyers...
  5. #5
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    @ Billy

    Billy...Thanks? If I could afford a lawyer I would have one...

    I paid over $30K in child support before the mother took my daughter and disappeared. I did not pay when she was concealed because I did not know where to send it. I realize now that I should have involved the courts myself earlier, but cannot change that.

    The issue is that she has committed perjury and has filed false documents and made false statements that have resulted in ruining my credit and made it impossible for me to make money in my business which requires international travel.

    California lawyers want a $25K retainer for this case...I simply do not have it so I have to try to get this resolved on my own. If my father were alive I could go to him as he was a California lawyer for years.

    Any help out there would be appreciated...
  6. #6
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    No, really - this isn't a strange or complicated case.

    Mom didn't kidnap your daughter. And really - the onus was on you to do whatever you could to relocate them. I'm honestly not trying to be harsh, but that's the legal reality.

    You are apparently on the hook for the child support unless you can prove that you paid.

    As for you not paying while you didn't know where Mom was - you could have put the money into a separate account, no?
  7. #7
    Billy V is offline Junior Member
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    to 34beach

    Is this a court judgment? Then you cannot sue for lies ... this would have to have been addressed at trial...FYI
  8. #8
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy V View Post
    Is this a court judgment? Then you cannot sue for lies ... this would have to have been addressed at trial...FYI


    It doesn't matter, Billy - really.

    Dad completely and utterly dropped the ball here - and even if Mom did Very Bad Things, it really won't change his situation (at the very least, not without investing a whole heap of money and time). And seriously if a CA attorney firm won't take this for less than $25k, that really does indicate that there's not a huge chance of success.

    He evidently owes the support...and to get that passport back, he must show that he no longer owes the support.
  9. #9
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    I have no problem with harsh.

    I do not think they are judgments as there was no trial or hearing that I was aware of or participated in. Perhaps they are liens of something else, I do not know.

    I am not saying that I do not possibly owe the monies for when she DID conceal my daughter. Whether I agree that there should be some reprecusions to the mother for taking my child in violation of the court order or not, I did drop the ball trying to be a nice guy and not have her arrested etc. if they did find her. There is much moire back story and details to all this than I am going into for times sake.

    I assume the court must adjust the principle balance owed from $54,000 once I show the $30K I did pay. Accordingly they should adjust the interest as well.

    That will leave a principle balance of support not paid while the child was concealed of about $25K plus interest.

    There will be a battle after the reduction I am certain as to whether the court will or will not take the concealment into consideration for the balance and or additional adjustment of interest. Either way, while I do not feel I should have to pay when my daughter was taken from me and she did violate the court order in a variety of ways...that is for the court to decide.

    My question relates to her filing fraudulent false documents and making fraudulent false claims that I had only paid her a total of $410.00 when if fact she knows I paid her over $30K which I can and will show in the court.

    These are deliberate malicious acts have caused a tremendous amount of emotional distress, financial hardship as a result of the activity on my credit etc. It was these false statements and lies that caused the court to act. Until she filed these documents I was ordered to pay her not the court. I had every intention of working these details out with her as I had paid my support as agreed and "ordered" prior to her disappearance.

    The fact that a California attorney wants a $25K retainer has nothing to do with the chances of success. They know that the system is severely slanted towards the mother number one and to the one who acts first number two regardless of fact. This type of case if time consuming...therefore the cost.

    The system IS unjust and broken in so many ways. Even the very nice and supportive ladies in the office in San Diego county have told me that.

    It boils down to money...not truth, not fact, not reason, common sense or ethical or moral standards...money!

    For the sicko mom who planned the pregnancy, did not notify me I was the father until she had broken up with her former husband whom she reconciled with and then disappeared there is no repercussions whatsoever. Sorry but I believe that is simply wrong on a lot of levels.

    But back to the question...does anyone know if I can sue her because of her fraudulent malicious actions and statements?
  10. #10
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy V View Post
    Is this an actual judgment by the agency or a court?
    Ummm... excuse me, but child support orders ARE court judgments in CA.
  11. #11
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34thebeach View Post
    But back to the question...does anyone know if I can sue her because of her fraudulent malicious actions and statements?
    There is no such cause of action, and even if there were, if you can't clear up this child support issue, what makes you think you'd be successful in brining a civil action of this magnitude before the court successfully? It's not as easy as fill out a piece of paper and go before a judge...

    Now, without dealing with Child Support Services, what happened when you filed YOUR OWN motion to get before A JUDGE to straighten out the arrearages?

    You'll get no where with the concealment aspect, you basically said you were fine with it when you did nothing about it. That's a family court matter. You are dealing with support ONLY. Stay focused. Now, in the amount of time that your child was gone with her mother, you of course put that money away in a bank account, didn't you?
  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34thebeach View Post
    I have no problem with harsh.

    I do not think they are judgments as there was no trial or hearing that I was aware of or participated in.


    But back to the question...does anyone know if I can sue her because of her fraudulent malicious actions and statements?
    Not knowing the source of the "judgment" I don't think anyone can answer as to a proper way of handling this situation. You likely do not have any case against the mother.

    If it was a court judgment, a motion to reconsider may be filed but I don't think you have the skill to do it. A motion to reconsider is not a simple motion. Or a motion to vacate a default judgment ~ both would require an expert.

    And it must be filed quickly after the court's ruling ~

    And you math needs to be re-checked .. its not 25K,,,well above it for the principle.
  13. #13
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    @ CourtClerk

    Thanks for your replies. By your user name should I assume you work for the court?

    Your condescending bureaucratic tone which is generally taken by those who administer or who are part of this horribly broken unjust system does suggest you do work for the court. I do however GREATLY and sincerely appreciate your willingness to share and your attempt to shed some light. We may not agree but I am fine with that if you are...we will see if you choose to respond which I hope you and others do. I feel I bring up several valid questions and positions and would like to hear yours and others' responses. I hope I insert the quotes etc. correctly and that I can answer your questions and address your statements in order.

    Ummm... excuse me, but child support orders ARE court judgments in CA.
    I know the requirement to pay support is a court order. I was saying I do not know what the alleged $108K shows up as on my credit report (over 50% of which is interest by the way). I think it important to point out that I do not owe $108K of child support. I allegedly owe $50K...of which I have paid $30K. The balance is interest on the total amount the court PERCEIVES that I owe.

    There is no such cause of action, and even if there were, if you can't clear up this child support issue, what makes you think you'd be successful in brining a civil action of this magnitude before the court successfully? It's not as easy as fill out a piece of paper and go before a judge...
    There in lies my question...I can and will clear up the support issues. First by showing what I did pay which is $30K of the $50K principle. The balance was not paid because I did not know where she was and I was not ordered to pay it to the court. And by the way, I did call family services about 8 months after she disappeared and was told to hire a private detective to find them. I did not have the money to do that so I tried to find them myself by calling what numbers I could find for family, who were not talking or taking my calls. I sent letters etc. to any address I thought might be theirs but they came back. She was being home schooled so no school records and she got remarried apparently. From what I was initially told by the clerk who I spoke to on the phone, it was on my shoulders to handle this.

    So I can and will clear up the support issues. There are two support issues in my opinion however, those before the concealment and what is allegedly owed for the time during the concealment which I have not paid as of yet.

    My question is in relation to the monies I paid before the concealment. Can I sue her for making fraudulent false statements and filing fraudulent false documents claiming I only paid her $410 for years 1994 to 2000? These are malicious false fraudulent statements that have caused damages to me and my family as a result.

    It's not as easy as fill out a piece of paper and go before a judge...
    Now, without dealing with Child Support Services, what happened when you filed YOUR OWN motion to get before A JUDGE to straighten out the arrearages?
    Well apparently if you are a mother in the state of California it is just that simple. I was not hiding or on the run. My address and phone number or employer did not change for over 12 years. The mother and the court knew where I was at all times. Without so much as a letter, a call, a question or anything not only did the court initiate action against me based SOLELY on the false statements and claims of the mother, they compounded it when I sent them proof of the payments I did make. They asked the mother if she agreed with what I had sent the court. That is exactly what the clerk of the court and the lady at family services told me. She then proceeded to tell me that the mother challenged the validity of the materials I had sent and that I would have to get attorneys, and go through all this to get it cleared up. So YES for mothers it is as simple as filling out a piece of paper...even if it is fraudulent and the mother is committing perjury whist filling it out and submitting it. The court works for the mothers plain and simple.

    The first order of business I have been told is getting the arrearages adjusted. Which is what I am in the process of doing. I sent the information to family services and they went to the mother as I mentioned above. Now I have to petition for a phone hearing for the adjustments. All this because the mother flat out lied...but no consequences for her right?

    You'll get no where with the concealment aspect, you basically said you were fine with it when you did nothing about it. That's a family court matter. You are dealing with support ONLY. Stay focused. Now, in the amount of time that your child was gone with her mother, you of course put that money away in a bank account, didn't you?
    Allow me to clarify...I am NOT fine with the concealment in any size, shape or form! It simply appears that a mother can do whatever the hec she pleases regardless of the court order and or when the father does or does not appeal to the court for some action against the mother. The court separates the two even though they are intricately intertwined because they know most will not spend the time or money to seek action. All of these factors are compensating and relative to each of the two supposed issues in both areas of this case! It is my understanding that the support issues and the concealment issues are handled by different departments or offices. I was told previously that I could take cation against her for the concealment and contempt of the court order issues and would have to approach the DA for assistance there which I plan to do. I am trying to find out if I can seek civil action?

    Now, in the amount of time that your child was gone with her mother, you of course put that money away in a bank account, didn't you?
    The following goes off topic but I am compelled to address this in my opinion as I am VERY interested in any replies that may be offered, and for my own piece of mind that I did address it.

    I have a question for you and the court and anyone else reading this thread. When I pay the money I was so obviously, according to you and the court, supposed to set aside (which I did for a long time) and allegedly owe, regardless of other relevant details; did the mother set aside the time she stole from me and my daughter?

    Will the mother then give me back the time I should have been able to enjoy with my daughter for 8 years as provided for in the same court order that the court is using now to force payment of support? Is her credit ruined? Is her contempt, perjury, malice, etc. at issue here at all? I mean it was part of the same court order that obligated me to pay child support that obligated her to make the child available to me by various means, provided for visitation and that she inform me AND THE COURT of any address changes etc. Her contempt of her obligations under the same order do not seem to come into play here...just the money. How typical. When do I get the time I was supposed to enjoy with my daughter but was prevented from enjoying because the mother had total disregard for the same court order I am supposed to adhere to no matter what? Had she informed the court at least of her whereabouts, I could have found them. The court did not care then and only cares now because of the money!

    Her obligations under the same court order will not come into play...because it is all about the money and the mother. The child actually comes in third and the father is so far down the list is is ridiculous. The onus is ALWAYS on the farther.

    In California, and most other states, it seems not to matter whether you are a stand up dad or a dead beat dad...your a dad and will be treated as such. Give us the money no matter what the situation or what the facts are. Guilty until you prove yourself innocent and any compensating factors that should be taken into consideration are not. Mothers can do what they want, how they want, when they want with no fear of loss or consequence for their actions.

    So, that brings me back to my original question. Can I sue her for the intentional emotional distress she caused by knowingly and willingly concealing my daughter in contempt of the court order compounded by the filing of false fraudulent statements, claims and documents which in turn has caused great financial hardship, as well as, a host of other damages?

    By the way...I am focused...This IS NOT ABOUT THE SUPPORT! I am and will address the support issues. This is about her actions.
  14. #14
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34thebeach View Post
    In California, and most other states, it seems not to matter whether you are a stand up dad or a dead beat dad...your a dad and will be treated as such. Give us the money no matter what the situation or what the facts are. Guilty until you prove yourself innocent and any compensating factors that should be taken into consideration are not. Mothers can do what they want, how they want, when they want with no fear of loss or consequence for their actions.
    THIS is an idiotic statement.

    I'm saying that as a dad who has had full legal and physical custody of my children (and has a child support order against their mother). This has been in place for over 15 years for me.
  15. #15
    34thebeach is offline Junior Member
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    @ Musicman

    Thank you for your input.

    I am very interested in learning more about the motion to reconsider and or vacate a default judgment if you care to share. I have heard these terms on several occasions before. Part of the problem is that I actually have a regular life aside from this crap believe it or not and while I do think and know this is an important issue, I also have to tend to day to day survival in this economy.

    I agree that an expert, i.e. a lawyer, would be ideal if the monies were available. I might surprise you at what I am capable of handling...lol...in a good way. I started law school as my father was a long time lawyer in San Diego and many of my college buddies went into law. None of them were or are very happy except those in entertainment law...lol...so I went into real estate. Anyway, the principle owed according to the most recent monthly statement I receive at my residence is approx. $50K in principle and the balance or some $58K in interest. Straight from what I get from the court or family services.

    Any additional assistance would be appreciated...

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