Civil Harassment Restraining Order

[Nekaru]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, feel free to move if it is. Not sure where to put it.

To make a long story short (because believe me, it is long, very very long.)

I'm 20. (Yes, significant to the story.)
My best friend was 16 now 17. His mother emotionally and mentally abuses him. On March 23rd he tried to attempt suicide after the situation escalated and demanded I call the suicide hotline for him, which I did. He signed off, didn't know if he was alive anymore so I called his house. The mother answered and freaked out on me blaming me for being the reason he went suicidal, saying I brainwashed him, influenced him, and fabricated the idea of abuse and suicide into his head.

Next day and all that week he calls me from the hospital/psych ward after I cried my eyes out over thinking he was dead and such the night before. (Mother wouldn't tell me if he was alive or not.) It continues like that till his mother catches wind and isolates us, by telling the doctors to monitor his phone calls and let him contact no one but family.

Desperate I try to reason with his family by calling, emailing, and every attempt. Eventually he gets discharged but his home life is hell. Monitored everywhere he goes, can't even go in his own backyard. Computer, cell phone, and any means of contact to the outside world taken away, treated like a prisoner in his own house. He decided to run away. Comes here. (My house. He's in California, I'm in Arizona.) It was great till the cops took him back after a week of fun.

When the cops show up to take him back, they served me with a TRO (temporary restraining order. Not to contact any of his family or his mother, though he doesn't want to be on it. She's forcing him due to him being a minor.) He's taken back and put in another psych ward.

TRO says I basically influenced, brainwashed, manipulated him. Enticed him to run away across state line. And says I'm using propaganda.

He contacts me despite the order a few times from the hospital to help me fight the TRO. I send in my answer document along with chatlogs, emails, and site topics backing up my side of the story. I wait till the hearing date and go to California on the 27th of May. (Recently.)

I lost the hearing which was a civil harassment case. Not because she proved harassment though. But because she lied in court saying he was getting better without internet or contact from his friends, playing sports, and being social things he never did. (Lies) And because he's autistic he can't testify. (Judge wanted him to at first until the mother pulled out a doctors note which diagnoges 'brainwashing,' as a serious case. Ummm since when is brainwashing real or a disorder outside of military and stockholm syndrome?)

Judge lets her win in 'interest of the boy,' since they feel they have him on the path to improvement. A permanent restraining order, but only for 6 months. (He's 18 in April, order ends in november. So he'll still be a minor and mother can re-issue.)

I feel I can appeal it, since it was a legal error as civil harassment was never proven and running away or brainwashing has nothing to do with harassment (which was the point we were there for NOT anything else.) But I may lose.

....I'm torn up over this. In despair. He's my best friend that I might not see till 18 again. I can't mentally abide by that order. Eventually I'm gonna go to jail because depression will sooner or later overrule common sense and I'll end up trying to reason with his family or talk to him again. I just can't take it anymore. I lay here worried for weeks like I did when he was in the psych ward the first time. Wondering if he's alright, wondering what's happening, how I can help. When I fully no I can't.

What makes it worse is I found out what his home life is. His mother's got him on a caretaker monitoring. She hired 4 caretakers that rotate. One of them is ALWAYS with him 24/7, they live in the home. Any time he laves the house or goes in his backyard, one is always with him. He rides a private bus to school that one rides with him as well, and no one is allowed to lend him their phone... WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOES THIS TO THEIR KID?

....But I can't take it. What more can I do? Does anyone live in California that can give me law advice? Or just anyone out there that can give me some advice on what more I can do to cope or fight it? Losing my mind here. I would die for this friend, get arrested. Anything to help this friend and the injustice he is going through due to our legal system treating minors.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, feel free to move if it is. Not sure where to put it.

To make a long story short (because believe me, it is long, very very long.)

I'm 20. (Yes, significant to the story.)
My best friend was 16 now 17. His mother emotionally and mentally abuses him. On March 23rd he tried to attempt suicide after the situation escalated and demanded I call the suicide hotline for him, which I did. He signed off, didn't know if he was alive anymore so I called his house. The mother answered and freaked out on me blaming me for being the reason he went suicidal, saying I brainwashed him, influenced him, and fabricated the idea of abuse and suicide into his head.

Next day and all that week he calls me from the hospital/psych ward after I cried my eyes out over thinking he was dead and such the night before. (Mother wouldn't tell me if he was alive or not.) It continues like that till his mother catches wind and isolates us, by telling the doctors to monitor his phone calls and let him contact no one but family.

Desperate I try to reason with his family by calling, emailing, and every attempt. Eventually he gets discharged but his home life is hell. Monitored everywhere he goes, can't even go in his own backyard. Computer, cell phone, and any means of contact to the outside world taken away, treated like a prisoner in his own house. He decided to run away. Comes here. (My house. He's in California, I'm in Arizona.) It was great till the cops took him back after a week of fun.

When the cops show up to take him back, they served me with a TRO (temporary restraining order. Not to contact any of his family or his mother, though he doesn't want to be on it. She's forcing him due to him being a minor.) He's taken back and put in another psych ward.

TRO says I basically influenced, brainwashed, manipulated him. Enticed him to run away across state line. And says I'm using propaganda.

He contacts me despite the order a few times from the hospital to help me fight the TRO. I send in my answer document along with chatlogs, emails, and site topics backing up my side of the story. I wait till the hearing date and go to California on the 27th of May. (Recently.)

I lost the hearing which was a civil harassment case. Not because she proved harassment though. But because she lied in court saying he was getting better without internet or contact from his friends, playing sports, and being social things he never did. (Lies) And because he's autistic he can't testify. (Judge wanted him to at first until the mother pulled out a doctors note which diagnoges 'brainwashing,' as a serious case. Ummm since when is brainwashing real or a disorder outside of military and stockholm syndrome?)

Judge lets her win in 'interest of the boy,' since they feel they have him on the path to improvement. A permanent restraining order, but only for 6 months. (He's 18 in April, order ends in november. So he'll still be a minor and mother can re-issue.)

I feel I can appeal it, since it was a legal error as civil harassment was never proven and running away or brainwashing has nothing to do with harassment (which was the point we were there for NOT anything else.) But I may lose.

....I'm torn up over this. In despair. He's my best friend that I might not see till 18 again. I can't mentally abide by that order. Eventually I'm gonna go to jail because depression will sooner or later overrule common sense and I'll end up trying to reason with his family or talk to him again. I just can't take it anymore. I lay here worried for weeks like I did when he was in the psych ward the first time. Wondering if he's alright, wondering what's happening, how I can help. When I fully no I can't.

What makes it worse is I found out what his home life is. His mother's got him on a caretaker monitoring. She hired 4 caretakers that rotate. One of them is ALWAYS with him 24/7, they live in the home. Any time he laves the house or goes in his backyard, one is always with him. He rides a private bus to school that one rides with him as well, and no one is allowed to lend him their phone... WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOES THIS TO THEIR KID?

....But I can't take it. What more can I do? Does anyone live in California that can give me law advice? Or just anyone out there that can give me some advice on what more I can do to cope or fight it? Losing my mind here. I would die for this friend, get arrested. Anything to help this friend and the injustice he is going through due to our legal system treating minors.

I would strongly recommend that you get yourself some counseling to help you deal with the fact that you are not going to be having anything to do with the young man until he is a legal adult. Otherwise you are risking jail.

 

[Antigone*]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, feel free to move if it is. Not sure where to put it.

To make a long story short (because believe me, it is long, very very long.)

I'm 20. (Yes, significant to the story.)
My best friend was 16 now 17. His mother emotionally and mentally abuses him. On March 23rd he tried to attempt suicide after the situation escalated and demanded I call the suicide hotline for him, which I did. He signed off, didn't know if he was alive anymore so I called his house. The mother answered and freaked out on me blaming me for being the reason he went suicidal, saying I brainwashed him, influenced him, and fabricated the idea of abuse and suicide into his head.

Next day and all that week he calls me from the hospital/psych ward after I cried my eyes out over thinking he was dead and such the night before. (Mother wouldn't tell me if he was alive or not.) It continues like that till his mother catches wind and isolates us, by telling the doctors to monitor his phone calls and let him contact no one but family.

Desperate I try to reason with his family by calling, emailing, and every attempt. Eventually he gets discharged but his home life is hell. Monitored everywhere he goes, can't even go in his own backyard. Computer, cell phone, and any means of contact to the outside world taken away, treated like a prisoner in his own house. He decided to run away. Comes here. (My house. He's in California, I'm in Arizona.) It was great till the cops took him back after a week of fun.

When the cops show up to take him back, they served me with a TRO (temporary restraining order. Not to contact any of his family or his mother, though he doesn't want to be on it. She's forcing him due to him being a minor.) He's taken back and put in another psych ward.

TRO says I basically influenced, brainwashed, manipulated him. Enticed him to run away across state line. And says I'm using propaganda.

He contacts me despite the order a few times from the hospital to help me fight the TRO. I send in my answer document along with chatlogs, emails, and site topics backing up my side of the story. I wait till the hearing date and go to California on the 27th of May. (Recently.)

I lost the hearing which was a civil harassment case. Not because she proved harassment though. But because she lied in court saying he was getting better without internet or contact from his friends, playing sports, and being social things he never did. (Lies) And because he's autistic he can't testify. (Judge wanted him to at first until the mother pulled out a doctors note which diagnoges 'brainwashing,' as a serious case. Ummm since when is brainwashing real or a disorder outside of military and stockholm syndrome?)

Judge lets her win in 'interest of the boy,' since they feel they have him on the path to improvement. A permanent restraining order, but only for 6 months. (He's 18 in April, order ends in november. So he'll still be a minor and mother can re-issue.)

I feel I can appeal it, since it was a legal error as civil harassment was never proven and running away or brainwashing has nothing to do with harassment (which was the point we were there for NOT anything else.) But I may lose.

....I'm torn up over this. In despair. He's my best friend that I might not see till 18 again. I can't mentally abide by that order. Eventually I'm gonna go to jail because depression will sooner or later overrule common sense and I'll end up trying to reason with his family or talk to him again. I just can't take it anymore. I lay here worried for weeks like I did when he was in the psych ward the first time. Wondering if he's alright, wondering what's happening, how I can help. When I fully no I can't.

What makes it worse is I found out what his home life is. His mother's got him on a caretaker monitoring. She hired 4 caretakers that rotate. One of them is ALWAYS with him 24/7, they live in the home. Any time he laves the house or goes in his backyard, one is always with him. He rides a private bus to school that one rides with him as well, and no one is allowed to lend him their phone... WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOES THIS TO THEIR KID?

....But I can't take it. What more can I do? Does anyone live in California that can give me law advice? Or just anyone out there that can give me some advice on what more I can do to cope or fight it? Losing my mind here. I would die for this friend, get arrested. Anything to help this friend and the injustice he is going through due to our legal system treating minors.

You need to step back and leave this child alone. You have no business injecting yourself in his life. His mother is doing what she needs to do to protect her child.

 

[Nekaru]

So you're telling me I should just abandon my best friend when he reached out as asked me for help, entrusting me to be there? I can't do that. It goes against every moral and ethic value I know.

Friends don't just betray and abandon friends. They stand up for them. They defend them, and stick with them through thick and then, trial and tribulation, and do everything for them.

I'm not just some 20 year old that is obsessed over him and 'don't know anything.' I've known him for years now. He specifically asked me for help when he didn't know what else to do. So I gave him that help.

But to say I fabricated the idea of suicide and serve a RO against me for saving her sons life from suicide? You support this? Who are you people? Do values of humanity mean nothing now??

As for parent protecting child. The kid DOES NOT want the RO. She's isolating him from everyone but herself and caretakers, something that has been proven clinically detrimental as it eventually makes people go insane from despair and loneliness. He doesn't want any of what she's doing. She's being overprotective about it and destroying his life. You support this? When the child himself does not want it? He may be autistic, but he's not stupid. His mother overcontrols his life. I have a chatlog where he said she was telling him how to think, about his mind and emotions. Even when he said she doesn't know his mind. Since when can one tell another person how to think?

...I intend to appeal it.
I'm not asking for your judgement or your cruel and inhumane words. I'm asking if my appeal fails, is there more I can do? I know people fight things all the time.

 

[Antigone*]

So you're telling me I should just abandon my best friend when he reached out as asked me for help, entrusting me to be there? I can't do that. It goes against every moral and ethic value I know.

Friends don't just betray and abandon friends. They stand up for them. They defend them, and stick with them through thick and then, trial and tribulation, and do everything for them.

I'm not just some 20 year old that is obsessed over him and 'don't know anything.' I've known him for years now. He specifically asked me for help when he didn't know what else to do. So I gave him that help.

But to say I fabricated the idea of suicide and serve a RO against me for saving her sons life from suicide? You support this? Who are you people? Do values of humanity mean nothing now??

...I intend to appeal it.
I'm not asking for your judgement or your cruel and inhumane words. I'm asking if my appeal fails, is there more I can do? I know people fight things all the time.

Absodanglutely not.

 

[cbg]

I have a question. Are you male or female?

And yes, I have a reason for asking.

 

[Silverplum]

You aren't going to listen to anyone here, that's clear already.

So just suck it up, for the sake of your best friend, and go see a local attorney. Buy and hour of his/her time. Explain everything like you did here and ask for help and advice.

So you're telling me I should just abandon my best friend when he reached out as asked me for help, entrusting me to be there? I can't do that. It goes against every moral and ethic value I know.

Friends don't just betray and abandon friends. They stand up for them. They defend them, and stick with them through thick and then, trial and tribulation, and do everything for them.

I'm not just some 20 year old that is obsessed over him and 'don't know anything.' I've known him for years now. He specifically asked me for help when he didn't know what else to do. So I gave him that help.

But to say I fabricated the idea of suicide and serve a RO against me for saving her sons life from suicide? You support this? Who are you people? Do values of humanity mean nothing now??

As for parent protecting child. The kid DOES NOT want the RO. She's isolating him from everyone but herself and caretakers, something that has been proven clinically detrimental as it eventually makes people go insane from despair and loneliness. He doesn't want any of what she's doing. She's being overprotective about it and destroying his life. You support this? When the child himself does not want it? He may be autistic, but he's not stupid. His mother overcontrols his life. I have a chatlog where he said she was telling him how to think, about his mind and emotions. Even when he said she doesn't know his mind. Since when can one tell another person how to think?

...I intend to appeal it.
I'm not asking for your judgement or your cruel and inhumane words. I'm asking if my appeal fails, is there more I can do? I know people fight things all the time.

 

[Nekaru]

I have a question. Are you male or female?

And yes, I have a reason for asking.

Female. And I'm in no way much of an adult. By age, yes. But... I like anime, videogames, I'm as short as a teenager (5'1), I spend my life on the internet and text-based roleplaying on a forum with aspirations to be a computer programmer. I also have aspergers, practically the same as his high functioning autism. (Along with a multitude of other disorders.)

Yes, I can assume the reason you're asking is you're marking me down as a pedophile. No, I'm not. I'm just a best friend that is extremely worried and just wants to help that friend. I'm asocial, I don't make friends all that easily, and generally don't like people as we just don't get along. So when I do make a friend like this, I am extremely loyal to them... and would do anything for them. Because... that's what being a friend is. ....

 

[Silverplum]

Like I stated -- go hire an attorney. Ask all your questions.

By the way, not "feeling" like an adult in no way absolves you from ACTING like an adult...nor does it absolve you from the consequences of breaking the law.

Female. And I'm in no way much of an adult. By age, yes. But... I like anime, videogames, I'm as short as a teenager (5'1), I spend my life on the internet and text-based roleplaying on a forum with aspirations to be a computer programmer. I also have aspergers, practically the same as his high functioning autism. (Along with a multitude of other disorders.)

Yes, I can assume the reason you're asking is you're marking me down as a pedophile. No, I'm not. I'm just a best friend that is extremely worried and just wants to help that friend. I'm asocial, I don't make friends all that easily, and generally don't like people as we just don't get along. So when I do make a friend like this, I am extremely loyal to them... and would do anything for them. Because... that's what being a friend is. ....

 

[Nekaru]

Like I stated -- go hire an attorney. Ask all your questions.

By the way, not "feeling" like an adult in no way absolves you from ACTING like an adult...nor does it absolve you from the consequences of breaking the law.

I have not broken the law. Civil harassment was not proven. The only email or calls I did was never in a row, it was once like every week or 2 weeks and was intended to reason with his mother, not harass.

Her accusations of brainwash, influence, and manipulating, enticing, as well as whatever else she accused me of is nothing but ridiculous blame. Because she can't accept the fact she's the problem in her sons eyes.

Will you actually read my entire post and not just the parts you want to pass judgement on? Not once have I broken the law or deserved the RO. It's all because the mother is overprotective and she lied in court. Nothing about civil harassment was ever proven.

 

[Silverplum]

I have not broken the law. Civil harassment was not proven. The only email or calls I did was never in a row, it was once like every week or 2 weeks and was intended to reason with his mother, not harass.

Her accusations of brainwash, influence, and manipulating, enticing, as well as whatever else she accused me of is nothing but ridiculous blame. Because she can't accept the fact she's the problem in her sons eyes.

Will you actually read my entire post and not just the parts you want to pass judgement on? Not once have I broken the law or deserved the RO. It's all because the mother is overprotective and she lied in court. Nothing about civil harassment was ever proven.

I did read the whole thing. You are crossing the line, legally. You don't want to hear it, because you don't feel like an adult, but you're on the verge of being in way more trouble than you are already.

That's why I told you to seek the advice of a local attorney. Perhaps when you pay a couple of hundred bucks to hear the same thing, you'll pay attention.

Your dramatics and theories of how parents should treat children notwithstanding.

 

[Antigone*]

I have not broken the law. Civil harassment was not proven. The only email or calls I did was never in a row, it was once like every week or 2 weeks and was intended to reason with his mother, not harass.

Her accusations of brainwash, influence, and manipulating, enticing, as well as whatever else she accused me of is nothing but ridiculous blame. Because she can't accept the fact she's the problem in her sons eyes.

Will you actually read my entire post and not just the parts you want to pass judgement on? Not once have I broken the law or deserved the RO. It's all because the mother is overprotective and she lied in court. Nothing about civil harassment was ever proven.

Says the internet gamer with a civil order of protection against her

 

[Zigner]

I have not broken the law. Civil harassment was not proven. The only email or calls I did was never in a row, it was once like every week or 2 weeks and was intended to reason with his mother, not harass.

Her accusations of brainwash, influence, and manipulating, enticing, as well as whatever else she accused me of is nothing but ridiculous blame. Because she can't accept the fact she's the problem in her sons eyes.

Will you actually read my entire post and not just the parts you want to pass judgement on? Not once have I broken the law or deserved the RO. It's all because the mother is overprotective and she lied in court. Nothing about civil harassment was ever proven.

You presently have a restraining order against you. Violate the terms of said order and get in trouble/go to jail.

I really don't know if anyone here can be any more clear than that.

 

[Zigner]

I'm as short as a teenager (5'1)

Huh? My kid's mother is 5' tall standing on her tip-toes...and she's older than her 30's. What does height have to do with age?

Yes, I can assume the reason you're asking is you're marking me down as a pedophile.

Gender isn't part of the definition of a pedophile.

 

[Zigner]

Oh, so now you ADMIT to violating the restraining order.

Grow up.