Defending myself in Civil Harrassment/TRO

[sdbluedolphin]

What is the name of your state?California I am a defendant in a TRO. The Plaintiff is a nextdoor neighbor in which we are both upstairs and our front doors face each other and are barely over 7ft. from each other. It would be best to start from the beginning. We both have been living here for 4yrs. and I am single mom with 3 girls, 17 & twins 7. He is married and has 4 boys that are ages 12-20. The bad relationship started about 8mths ago, when they went from downstairs (from where they are)and moved upstairs next door to me. Hes complained of cig. smoke and accused me of intentionally blowing it over towards them. At that time I was on the "patch". But started smoking again since the end of 12/04. (stupid me) OK... Now this is the where the drama really starts...on XmasEve04 morning,I found myself in a verbal confrontation with his 17yr old son. I was investigating one of my daughters whom had fallen down the stairs with her bike, (she was ok)and 17son was standing at top of stairs laughing hysterically about the incident. I couldnt hear her reply to me so I told 17son "Its not that funny!" he kept laughing I said it again 3ormore times and without any warning... I was dealing with him
right up to my face (backing me into my front door)and said, "It is funny ******" (Im white and this family is black sorry about the N word~I have never used that word in my life!)I slapped him on the cheek. He backed up in a hussy took his shirt off like he was going to hit me. Oh no... looks like Im out of room. Anyhow, the police came said they wanted me arrested. But considering the day told me that they werent going to and if worst was to happen the DA would make charges later.Ok, well I avoided these people at best as I could. But the times when I had to see them I was spit on racial slurrs were made. P made false reports to other authorities (CPS & HUD).The DA does not have any crime report from PD. So, C.H/TRO was filed. He tried to have me arrested stating that I was in vio. from TRO. Court was last week, and judge put injunction/TRO another 60days.(I let his lieing statements, get to my emotions and couldnt complete sentences and started to cry) So, now I dont know what to file, I see(researched) many rights that he is in fault for or violated against me. Should I get TRO on them? And then file defamation case? or does all of this go in one? Im tired of this drama, would like to move but need to stay stable for the remainder of school year
so what should I do? Of course I will abide by TRO, but the P is intentionally falsifying facts, because he does not want to take responsibility for his sons bad behavior! (never has) Im guilty of 1 incident that I know only happened because I was in fear of my safety. (XmasEve incident) I have no mentor at this time in my life. Any suggestion or remark on this is surely appreciated. And I may stand alone, but with an OpenMind! Im my kids' only role-model.

 

[Alias_joe]

Sounds like a real cry story here-

Sorry but you are just another in a long lone of victims. Black or white it makes no difference.

I suggest you quietly find another place and move. You can get on with your life then. Otherwise you will be fighting all kinds of unprovables- knocks on door, banging on walls, spitting, cut tires, etc.

In the meantime get your FACTS (not emotions) in order. A TRO is only something to prevent troubles.

Defamation? Really like what? 'stupid cracker b - -tch' How are you going to prove that isn't true?
Even if you won (doubtful) what would you get? Nothing.

 

[sdbluedolphin]

I know it makes no difference..... black or white

California~ I appreciate most of what you've stated. The part about defamation is that, this neighbor is telling people that "I sold my baby 3years ago for money! THAT IS SOOOOO NOT TRUE! And to hear someone even talk about something that is sooooo very personal, has caused me alot of pain. And this is why I have let my "emotions over-rule my intellect".(i wont cry another river) Thanks again...
Also since this TRO has been in affect, these kids are bullying my kids, I still hear" spitting when I pass them in the parking lot. ill finish later.......gotta go.
THANKS & SORRY

 

[sdbluedolphin]

HAd cut it short.......

California~ Needed to sign off for a minor emergency.. So, back to the subject of "Defending myself in CH/TRO"
Alias Joe~ You made a comment about hard to prove... banging on walls, spitting, and tires cut... etc,
How did you know that my tires were cut.???!!!!!! I never mentioned that part!
And moving is not an option 1. Because I have done nothing wrong
2. I owe it to my kids to be stable (esp. oldest her senior year)
3. I've already checked around and vacancy is under 10% in san diego.
4. Thats exactly what they (P) wants me to do!

Im an active community member, starting a neighborhood watch program hasnt been easy for this tiny narrow street.(thats been thru alot of gang activity) And its gonna be because of my choice... if I am going to move and right now, its not......in a few months I will but not before then.