Filing a restraining order against someone who has a restraining order on you

[tat123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
Someone recently issued a restraining order against me and set the court date for a day I was out of town.

I went to the courthouse to try to change the date but was told that I would need to hire a lawyer to do so, and since I never actually threatened this girl, I figured she did not have a case anyway and it wouldn't be worth spending money to hire or a lawyer or cancel my trip.

While I issued a written rebuttel making sure to mention the plethora of lies on the order she filed, the court still issued a 2 year restraining order and i have no clue what was said in court since I was not there. I know this person has it out for me and has said in writing that I "belong in jail" even though I have never threatened her and now I fear that she will use this restraining order to try to trap me into going to jail (we have a lot of mutual friends and we work in similar industries so it is not unlikely that she won't "accidentally" run into me and call the police. Do I have a case for filing a restraining order against her if the only proof of threat I have is an email where she says i "belong in jail"?*What I am also afraid of is that we might find ourselves accidentally working together and I will be the one*forced to quit because of the restraining order.*

Also, the restraining order notice was MAILED to me after the trial Is that even legal? Shouldn't someone have delivered it in person?
I also notice that although it says it was mailed by someone I don't know in a city that is an hour away from where the person who filed the order lives...the postage stamp says South Pasadena, which is where the girl who filed the order against me lives. So it looks like she just mailed it herself.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
Someone recently issued a restraining order against me and set the court date for a day I was out of town.

I went to the courthouse to try to change the date but was told that I would need to hire a lawyer to do so, and since I never actually threatened this girl, I figured she did not have a case anyway and it wouldn't be worth spending money to hire or a lawyer or cancel my trip.

While I issued a written rebuttel making sure to mention the plethora of lies on the order she filed, the court still issued a 2 year restraining order and i have no clue what was said in court since I was not there. I know this person has it out for me and has said in writing that I "belong in jail" even though I have never threatened her and now I fear that she will use this restraining order to try to trap me into going to jail (we have a lot of mutual friends and we work in similar industries so it is not unlikely that she won't "accidentally" run into me and call the police. Do I have a case for filing a restraining order against her if the only proof of threat I have is an email where she says i "belong in jail"?*What I am also afraid of is that we might find ourselves accidentally working together and I will be the one*forced to quit because of the restraining order.*

Also, the restraining order notice was MAILED to me after the trial Is that even legal? Shouldn't someone have delivered it in person?
I also notice that although it says it was mailed by someone I don't know in a city that is an hour away from where the person who filed the order lives...the postage stamp says South Pasadena, which is where the girl who filed the order against me lives. So it looks like she just mailed it herself.

You chose not to turn up in court - that's your problem, not theirs. No, you can't play games and run out for your own restraining order.

Grow up, and next time you have a court date turn up.

 

[Silverplum]

Consider yourself restrained.

 

[tat123]

You chose not to turn up in court - that's your problem, not theirs. No, you can't play games and run out for your own restraining order.

Grow up, and next time you have a court date turn up.

So basically what you are saying, is that anyone can file a restraining order against anyone so long as they know when they will be out of town.

Sorry but you know nothing about the situation. This isnt even a person i have met IN PERSON. I used to date her current boyfriend who she is now living with (also the only reason i even know where she lives). I have never layed a finger on her nor threatened her. It is absolutely ridiculous for people to take her side just because she is the one who filed the order.

It would have been crazy for me to cancel a trip I already paid for just because this girl who has it in for me decided to file a restraining order against me. It seems to me that what you are saying is that it is totally ok to file a restraining order and set the court date on a date you KNOW the other person can't make, just to inconvenience them.

 

[Silverplum]

So basically what you are saying, is that anyone can file a restraining order against anyone so long as they know when they will be out of town.

Sorry but you know nothing about the situation. This isnt even a person i have met IN PERSON. I used to date her current boyfriend who she is now living with (also the only reason i even know where she lives). I have never layed a finger on her nor threatened her. It is absolutely ridiculous for people to take her side just because she is the one who filed the order.

It would have been crazy for me to cancel a trip I already paid for just because this girl who has it in for me decided to file a restraining order against me. It seems to me that what you are saying is that it is totally ok to file a restraining order and set the court date on a date you KNOW the other person can't make, just to inconvenience them.

Why do you think the plaintiff sets the court date?

 

[tat123]

Why do you think the plaintiff sets the court date?

Now i am starting to think the answer to that is entrapment.

You are basically saying it is easy to screw someone over...just find out when that person is going out of town, then file a restraining order and make sure you set that as your court date, so that now the defendant either has give up an important opportunity or has a restraining order on their record.

 

[Silverplum]

Now i am starting to think the answer to that is entrapment.

You are basically saying it is easy to screw someone over...just find out when that person is going out of town, then file a restraining order and make sure you set that as your court date, so that now the defendant either has give up an important opportunity or has a restraining order on their record.

I'm not saying what you say I'm saying.

Read. Carefully. It's a question. Here it is: What makes you think the plaintiff sets the court date?

 

[tat123]

I'm not saying what you say I'm saying.

Read. Carefully. It's a question. Here it is: What makes you think the plaintiff sets the court date?

So what you are saying is that the judge sets the date and if the plaintiff has a commitment that day the plaintiff is screwed?

 

[Silverplum]

So what you are saying is that the judge sets the date and if the plaintiff has a commitment that day the plaintiff is screwed?

The court clerk sets the date.

You don't even know which is the plaintiff or the respondent, though you were one of the two...and you are critiquing the justice system?

You had a choice, you made the choice, you live with the consequences.

 

[LdiJ]

So what you are saying is that the judge sets the date and if the plaintiff has a commitment that day the plaintiff is screwed?

Yep, pretty much. When attorneys are involved postponements can happen, but with pro se cases, generally that doesn't happen.

 

[eerelations]

No, the plaintiff is not screwed, the plaintiff just has to do what he/she was told to do by the court: get an attorney to change the court date.

 

[tat123]

The court clerk sets the date.

You don't even know which is the plaintiff or the respondent, though you were one of the two...and you are critiquing the justice system?

You had a choice, you made the choice, you live with the consequences.

I am not sure what you are getting at.

THe date was set before I was notified that a restraining order was filed, thus the person filing the order is at an advantage since they know in advance when the court date is.

What does the clerk not knowing who is who have anything to do with anything? It is not like the court clerk knows our schedules.

I am sorry that i did not cancel a trip due to this. Believe it or not some of us are not made of money and cannot afford to do stuff like that, especially for something that did not seem like it was going to have any weight in court.

I know now that if i ever want to severely inconvenience someone, all i have to do is file a restraining order against them.

 

[Silverplum]

I am not sure what you are getting at.

THe date was set before I was notified that a restraining order was filed, thus the person filing the order is at an advantage since they know in advance when the court date is.

What does the clerk not knowing who is who have anything to do with anything? It is not like the court clerk knows our schedules.

I am sorry that i did not cancel a trip due to this. Believe it or not some of us are not made of money and cannot afford to do stuff like that, especially for something that did not seem like it was going to have any weight in court.

I know now that if i ever want to severely inconvenience someone, all i have to do is file a restraining order against them.

You had options: you did not exercise them. You didn't take a court date seriously, and this is the result. No, you cannot file a "retaliatory" restraining order on the other person.

 

[Proserpina]

I am not sure what you are getting at.

THe date was set before I was notified that a restraining order was filed, thus the person filing the order is at an advantage since they know in advance when the court date is.

What does the clerk not knowing who is who have anything to do with anything? It is not like the court clerk knows our schedules.

I am sorry that i did not cancel a trip due to this. Believe it or not some of us are not made of money and cannot afford to do stuff like that, especially for something that did not seem like it was going to have any weight in court.

I know now that if i ever want to severely inconvenience someone, all i have to do is file a restraining order against them.

And that simply confirms my first post.

 

[Silverplum]

Of course the court clerk does not know your schedule/s, and does not care: the court's schedule is the one that matters. You fit into their schedule, not the other way around.