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StashuJ

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

On May 20th I received a message from my former Girlfriend stating that she was 6 months pregnant with my child. She had told me that her Doctor told her that she had conceived in December which is when we were still together. She told me she would bring me the paperwork and ultrasound pictures the next day. Having not heard from her I messaged her and was ignored. I sent multiple messages afterword in an attempt to get any information I could but all were ignored. My Fiancé and I had both told her that we would do whatever it would take to obtain custody of the child and raise it in a stable and loving environment should it prove to be mine.
I was able to get in touch with her ex-husband and asked him if he could please have her contact me as she lives with his mother and grandmother. On May 31st he sent me a message saying that she was in fact 6 months pregnant and had gone as far as Maryland and had the child aborted.

I know her well and know there is no medical reason (other than her mental health which under Maryland law is not covered for matters such as this) that put the child's life in danger so my question is if there is anything I can do legally in this matter? I am unable to get in touch with her as her ex-husband understandably does not want to involve himself in this matter further. I have saved every message that I had initially received from her as well as those that I had sent to her that were ignored.

I have always been a kind person and would never harm a soul and to have this thrust upon me has hurt in ways I could never have imagined.

I thank you very much for your time.
 


cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Are you asking what legal recourse you have because she had an abortion? The answer is none. Until the baby is born and paternity is established you have no more right to the child than I do, and under the laws of this country it is legal for her to have an abortion if she wants one.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

On May 20th I received a message from my former Girlfriend stating that she was 6 months pregnant with my child. She had told me that her Doctor told her that she had conceived in December which is when we were still together. She told me she would bring me the paperwork and ultrasound pictures the next day. Having not heard from her I messaged her and was ignored. I sent multiple messages afterword in an attempt to get any information I could but all were ignored.

My Fiancé and I had both told her that we would do whatever it would take to obtain custody of the child and raise it in a stable and loving environment should it prove to be mine.

I was able to get in touch with her ex-husband and asked him if he could please have her contact me as she lives with his mother and grandmother. On May 31st he sent me a message saying that she was in fact 6 months pregnant and had gone as far as Maryland and had the child aborted.

I know her well and know there is no medical reason (other than her mental health which under Maryland law is not covered for matters such as this) that put the child's life in danger so my question is if there is anything I can do legally in this matter? I am unable to get in touch with her as her ex-husband understandably does not want to involve himself in this matter further. I have saved every message that I had initially received from her as well as those that I had sent to her that were ignored.

I have always been a kind person and would never harm a soul and to have this thrust upon me has hurt in ways I could never have imagined.

I thank you very much for your time.
You actually said the bolded to a woman who was six months pregnant and are surprised that she disappeared on you? What did you expect was going to happen after you made that statement?
 

sandyclaus

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

On May 20th I received a message from my former Girlfriend stating that she was 6 months pregnant with my child. She had told me that her Doctor told her that she had conceived in December which is when we were still together. She told me she would bring me the paperwork and ultrasound pictures the next day. Having not heard from her I messaged her and was ignored. I sent multiple messages afterword in an attempt to get any information I could but all were ignored. My Fiancé and I had both told her that we would do whatever it would take to obtain custody of the child and raise it in a stable and loving environment should it prove to be mine.
I was able to get in touch with her ex-husband and asked him if he could please have her contact me as she lives with his mother and grandmother. On May 31st he sent me a message saying that she was in fact 6 months pregnant and had gone as far as Maryland and had the child aborted.

I know her well and know there is no medical reason (other than her mental health which under Maryland law is not covered for matters such as this) that put the child's life in danger so my question is if there is anything I can do legally in this matter? I am unable to get in touch with her as her ex-husband understandably does not want to involve himself in this matter further. I have saved every message that I had initially received from her as well as those that I had sent to her that were ignored.

I have always been a kind person and would never harm a soul and to have this thrust upon me has hurt in ways I could never have imagined.

I thank you very much for your time.
What exactly would you have her do here?

IF she was pregnant, and IF the child was biologically yours, you would have no rights or obligations to the child until it was born. Until that time, anything could happen, and she had the right to abort the child if she so chose. Yes, it was a little odd and mean to tell you she was having your child only to abort it, but the choice was HERS, and was never yours to make. She obviously chose not to continue the pregnancy for whatever reason, and now there is no child at all.

if she is ignoring you now, then it's best to leave it alone. She may have had very personal reasons for doing what she did, and she may never tell you what they are. You can't force her to talk to you.
 

StashuJ

Junior Member
As I understand it it's against the law to abort a child at 6 months and beyond unless there is a medical reason that puts the child's or mother's life in danger or in cases of Rape.
I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with her and from what I understand the child was in no danger.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

On May 20th I received a message from my former Girlfriend stating that she was 6 months pregnant with my child. She had told me that her Doctor told her that she had conceived in December which is when we were still together. She told me she would bring me the paperwork and ultrasound pictures the next day. Having not heard from her I messaged her and was ignored. I sent multiple messages afterword in an attempt to get any information I could but all were ignored. My Fiancé and I had both told her that we would do whatever it would take to obtain custody of the child and raise it in a stable and loving environment should it prove to be mine.
I was able to get in touch with her ex-husband and asked him if he could please have her contact me as she lives with his mother and grandmother. On May 31st he sent me a message saying that she was in fact 6 months pregnant and had gone as far as Maryland and had the child aborted.

I know her well and know there is no medical reason (other than her mental health which under Maryland law is not covered for matters such as this) that put the child's life in danger so my question is if there is anything I can do legally in this matter? I am unable to get in touch with her as her ex-husband understandably does not want to involve himself in this matter further. I have saved every message that I had initially received from her as well as those that I had sent to her that were ignored.

I have always been a kind person and would never harm a soul and to have this thrust upon me has hurt in ways I could never have imagined.

I thank you very much for your time.
There are sooo many issues that you posted that could be deemed mentally ill. And yet not wanting to have a child by you is not one.:(

This is my opinion based on your posting.;)
 

StashuJ

Junior Member
Thank you for your responses. Even though it hurts very much I suppose it was what she thought was best. Thank you again.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
As I understand it it's against the law to abort a child at 6 months and beyond unless there is a medical reason that puts the child's or mother's life in danger or in cases of Rape.
I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with her and from what I understand the child was in no danger.
It would appear that you are mistaken about that, at least in Maryland.

http://www.mdrtl.org/LawSummary.html
 

RRevak

Senior Member
Thank you for your responses. Even though it hurts very much I suppose it was what she thought was best. Thank you again.
Well gee, she tells you she's pregnant and you respond with the disgustingly vile response of you're going to do everything you can to take the child away from her. If I were her i'd run for the hills too! You should be ashamed of yourself for that kind of response :mad:
 

StashuJ

Junior Member
Well gee, she tells you she's pregnant and you respond with the disgustingly vile response of you're going to do everything you can to take the child away from her. If I were her i'd run for the hills too! You should be ashamed of yourself for that kind of response :mad:
There was no "disgustingly vile response". I simply meant that because she had no way of taking care of a child that I would do everything to make sure it was raised in a happy, loving and healthy environment. It does seem like I was being harsh but I simply misworded my message to her.
 

RRevak

Senior Member
And what's even more vile is you're claiming to have a "fiancee" mere months after impregnating this girl. And that you imply that you and this "fiancee" are somehow better for this child than its own mother. I'd be willing to bet she didn't in fact abort, but rather told you so in order to make you go away for the sake of her ability to parent her child without you making things difficult.
 

RRevak

Senior Member
There was no "disgustingly vile response". I simply meant that because she had no way of taking care of a child that I would do everything to make sure it was raised in a happy, loving and healthy environment. It does seem like I was being harsh but I simply misworded my message to her.
No dear, telling a pregnant woman that you're going to "do everything in your power" to take away her child is disgusting and vile. Rather than be supportive, you come in with guns blazing and threats. How in the WORLD do you NOT see that as COMPLETELY WRONG!? And who in the world are YOU to think she has no way of taking care of a child? YOU are the one with a "fiancee" 5 min after impregnating someone else. I don't exactly see YOU as 100% stellar either OP. :rolleyes:
 

StashuJ

Junior Member
And what's even more vile is you're claiming to have a "fiancee" mere months after impregnating this girl. And that you imply that you and this "fiancee" are somehow better for this child than its own mother. I'd be willing to bet she didn't in fact abort, but rather told you so in order to make you go away for the sake of her ability to parent her child without you making things difficult.
I have known my fiance for well over a year but we lost communication. Call me vile all you want but the fact is that the woman has no job, lives with her ex's mother and has no motivation in life. I tried to make it work but I could not support her and myself. It was a mutual decision to end our relationship. I know for a fact I would do a hell of a lot more for the child that she could ever hope to do. Also a week after we ended our relationship she was seeing someone else. I'm not a bad person and would never hurt a fly.
 

RRevak

Senior Member
I have known my fiance for well over a year but we lost communication. Call me vile all you want but the fact is that the woman has no job, lives with her ex's mother and has no motivation in life. I tried to make it work but I could not support her and myself. It was a mutual decision to end our relationship. I know for a fact I would do a hell of a lot more for the child that she could ever hope to do. Also a week after we ended our relationship she was seeing someone else. I'm not a bad person and would never hurt a fly.
No, you just hoped to take a child away from its mother so you could play house with your new bedwarmer. Nice
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I have known my fiance for well over a year but we lost communication. Call me vile all you want but the fact is that the woman has no job, lives with her ex's mother and has no motivation in life. I tried to make it work but I could not support her and myself. It was a mutual decision to end our relationship. I know for a fact I would do a hell of a lot more for the child that she could ever hope to do. Also a week after we ended our relationship she was seeing someone else. I'm not a bad person and would never hurt a fly.
None of that has any bearing on what kind of mother she would be...and its disappointing that you cannot see what you did and why it was so wrong. You claim to be kind and wouldn't hurt a fly but what you did was about as unkind and cruel as its possible to be in a situation like that.
 

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