scubasteve1228
Junior Member
I am trying to find an attorney who will help represent me against the California. I have had the following happen to me: probation department (charged 9 misdemeanors against me for ditching school or being late), they performed illegal cavity searches as well as incarcerated for extremely long periods of time in Juvenile Hall, they tried to put 15 years-life on me for ditching school 9 times, and running through a screen door which scratched my mother's leg-assualt with a deadly weapon and intent to cause bodily harm), Juvenile hall of san diego (I would be placed in a holding cell from 1 day to a month long with no going out of the cell at all), group homes for illegally medicating me (1500 milligrams of lithium and 1200 milligrams of luvox), social services (foster care unit) for not giving me proper care once I was emancipated from the state.
I have kept all this a secret for a long time: the abuse, neglect, and severe mental debilitating disorders originated from these events. This is because of several reasons: 1) I thought I would end up back in the system since the issue was never resolved. 2) I was scared to confront my issues, because I was afraid it was too much for me to deal with. 3) I didn't know what they did was wrong at the time. 3) It is embarrassing to confront these events. About a year ago I had a mental break down, and started to seek counseling for what happened to me, and to try and fix my problems. I am still seeking counseling on what has happened to me, and the damage of it all. I need helping finding someone that can help defend my rights that were so easily trampled on. Not many people in my type of situation are even alive or not back in jail today, and I want to find some closure. This is my story:
I am writing this to explain how my civil rights have been violated by the state of California and its Judicial System. I was born with impairment, but I lived mostly a happy regular life until I was 9. When I was in 4th grade I witnessed a heinous crime by my step-father. This created an imbalance in my mind. I had very poor skills at dealing with this kind of trauma. Due to that I avoided school and played video games all day. My sense of reality was much distorted when I was younger. I did not understand the consequences of my actions of ditching school time and again. I did not understand why I was getting in trouble. During one time when I had an argument with my mother the police were called to the home. At this time my mother (being single with 3 kids after my step-father’s actions) had one of two options from the police:
1) Have a chance to have all of your children taken away
2) Sign custody of your son away and we will get him help
These were the options my mother had. She chose option 2, and thus I was award of court and assigned a felony level assault with a deadly weapon (a screen door I broke through and scratched my mother’s leg) and a felony level intent to cause bodily harm. Due to those 2 felonies I was brought to Juvenile Hall. I spent my first week in a holding cell with nothing more than a mattress and a blanket. I had no shower for that week, and did not go outside or participate in any activity other than being in that cell. Trust me I remember exactly what it looks like still to this day, and sometimes wake up thinking I’m in there still. I finally was sent to cell block 400 a low level part of juvenile hall where kids my aged stayed. I was not explained any rules, and was allowed a phone call. I went to the phone and talked for 5 min. When I was told to get off the phone I said good bye to my mother and was pepper sprayed when I turned around. I was then handcuffed and lifted by my arms dislocating them and thrown in a cell for another week with nothing other than a blanket and a matt. I spent 3 months this time continuously going about this route.
I finally received a court date, and when I was introduced to my attorney she told me to plead guilty. Due to my incomplete maturity level I had no idea what was going on. I was put into a court room where apparently I pleaded guilty to two felonies without realizing it. They released me to a group home for 3 months where I was with 17 year olds. I was continuously abused and picked on by these other group home members because I was much younger than them. I spent my time there enough to get released home on probation. I then had to attend probationary school continuously by bus route. It was a long bus route from Carlsbad to Escondido. I’m not sure if I kept being late or not showing up as my memory got very distorted around this time, but one thing I’m positive about was that we stayed in an office building.
I could still hear the shackles clanking on the other side of the wall whenever they would come to lock me up. Whenever I heard that I knew for some reason (wasn’t sure why) but that I was going to be the one locked up in shackles. So the clanking sound would send chills down my spine and paralyze me with fear. I know the probation officers were asking me to come to the office, but I could never move, so they dragged me into there. In the office I would be stripped down and have a full cavity searches by a staff member. They would shackle me up with almost no clothes on, and put me in a van. They would then drive me to the juvenile facility and tell me I would be there overnight. Sometimes overnight would mean a weak. Other times it was a month. This happened a total of 8-9 times. During these periods I would be in a single holding cell not able to go out at all. One of those times I remember a staff member felt bad for me and gave me a single book to read (only one). I read it for what was a month or more in that holding cell. Sometimes I was there for 3 days, a week, or a month in that same holding cell. Just to be released and sent back as soon as I got out. I wasn’t even sure why this was going on until later (which I found out were 9 misdemeanors of probation violation). I’m not even sure how I violated my probation as I had a metal impairment I was born with, I did not understand the world.
At this time, on my last lock up with the probation school, they asked my mother to lock me up in juvenile hall. I remember her driving me there, which was the worse feeling in the world. She bought me a carrot cake (my favorite dessert) right before she handed me over to the juvenile detention center. I spent another month in that same holding cell. I cried and yelled for what I think was a month. Banging on the doors with no answer other than to let me use the restroom, then it was right back into that empty brick room with no sunlight. I was finally moved to unit 100 where they offered a chance to be a kitchen KP. I spent 8-9 months there not knowing when I would be released. Every time I would go to court (it was every two weeks) I would ask what’s going on. I was never told when I would be able to leave, and I was told to plead guilty time and time again. Everyday for those 8-9 months I listened 40-50 times a day for a slight beep from the intercom hoping that I would hear: Shovlin for release. Every day those 40-50 times went without an answer. I thought I was going crazy. I would run to my door and listen to realize there wasn’t a beep at all at times. I gave up and thought I would spend the rest of my life there in this miserable hole.
On the last day I was in the holding cell before court one last time. I was seen in a different area by my attorney. She said I was guilty of 9 misdemeanors of probation violation (equaling 3 felonies) and the two original felonies from when I was first arrested. This gave the court enough to send me to court room 9 (which at the time was a CYA courtroom) where they judge you 15 years to life. Fear and dread set in on me. I spent all day in that holding cell crying cringed in a corner on the bench. Sometimes someone would come to kick me (another inmate) but it mattered little since I was filled with despair and confusion. Right before a new attorney came to me (or it might have been a judge) I spent the last 5 minutes smashing my head on the concrete. While I was being attended for my battered head the attorney or judge came and sat next to me. It was the first time in a 3-4 year period where I was treated like a human.
They sat there with my head on their lap “petting” my head and telling me things are going to get better. At this time (it was the last part of the day) I was moved to court room 4 (social services). I was put in there confused and drained. The lady judge sat down and looked at the probation office and the DA and asked, “What are the 9 misdemeanors for” they explained. She was appalled and said, “I will cancel these misdemeanors, now onto the felonies. What did the felonies involve?” The probation and DA explained the scenario. Again she was appalled and stated, “For you to push these crimes on a child who apparently has trauma disgusts me. I wave all charges and allow the youth a onetime chance to better his life.” She looked at me and asked if I understood, and I told her no. She told me she will make everything disappear, my crimes and probation, if I pass the RTS facility called: Helicon.
I have kept all this a secret for a long time: the abuse, neglect, and severe mental debilitating disorders originated from these events. This is because of several reasons: 1) I thought I would end up back in the system since the issue was never resolved. 2) I was scared to confront my issues, because I was afraid it was too much for me to deal with. 3) I didn't know what they did was wrong at the time. 3) It is embarrassing to confront these events. About a year ago I had a mental break down, and started to seek counseling for what happened to me, and to try and fix my problems. I am still seeking counseling on what has happened to me, and the damage of it all. I need helping finding someone that can help defend my rights that were so easily trampled on. Not many people in my type of situation are even alive or not back in jail today, and I want to find some closure. This is my story:
I am writing this to explain how my civil rights have been violated by the state of California and its Judicial System. I was born with impairment, but I lived mostly a happy regular life until I was 9. When I was in 4th grade I witnessed a heinous crime by my step-father. This created an imbalance in my mind. I had very poor skills at dealing with this kind of trauma. Due to that I avoided school and played video games all day. My sense of reality was much distorted when I was younger. I did not understand the consequences of my actions of ditching school time and again. I did not understand why I was getting in trouble. During one time when I had an argument with my mother the police were called to the home. At this time my mother (being single with 3 kids after my step-father’s actions) had one of two options from the police:
1) Have a chance to have all of your children taken away
2) Sign custody of your son away and we will get him help
These were the options my mother had. She chose option 2, and thus I was award of court and assigned a felony level assault with a deadly weapon (a screen door I broke through and scratched my mother’s leg) and a felony level intent to cause bodily harm. Due to those 2 felonies I was brought to Juvenile Hall. I spent my first week in a holding cell with nothing more than a mattress and a blanket. I had no shower for that week, and did not go outside or participate in any activity other than being in that cell. Trust me I remember exactly what it looks like still to this day, and sometimes wake up thinking I’m in there still. I finally was sent to cell block 400 a low level part of juvenile hall where kids my aged stayed. I was not explained any rules, and was allowed a phone call. I went to the phone and talked for 5 min. When I was told to get off the phone I said good bye to my mother and was pepper sprayed when I turned around. I was then handcuffed and lifted by my arms dislocating them and thrown in a cell for another week with nothing other than a blanket and a matt. I spent 3 months this time continuously going about this route.
I finally received a court date, and when I was introduced to my attorney she told me to plead guilty. Due to my incomplete maturity level I had no idea what was going on. I was put into a court room where apparently I pleaded guilty to two felonies without realizing it. They released me to a group home for 3 months where I was with 17 year olds. I was continuously abused and picked on by these other group home members because I was much younger than them. I spent my time there enough to get released home on probation. I then had to attend probationary school continuously by bus route. It was a long bus route from Carlsbad to Escondido. I’m not sure if I kept being late or not showing up as my memory got very distorted around this time, but one thing I’m positive about was that we stayed in an office building.
I could still hear the shackles clanking on the other side of the wall whenever they would come to lock me up. Whenever I heard that I knew for some reason (wasn’t sure why) but that I was going to be the one locked up in shackles. So the clanking sound would send chills down my spine and paralyze me with fear. I know the probation officers were asking me to come to the office, but I could never move, so they dragged me into there. In the office I would be stripped down and have a full cavity searches by a staff member. They would shackle me up with almost no clothes on, and put me in a van. They would then drive me to the juvenile facility and tell me I would be there overnight. Sometimes overnight would mean a weak. Other times it was a month. This happened a total of 8-9 times. During these periods I would be in a single holding cell not able to go out at all. One of those times I remember a staff member felt bad for me and gave me a single book to read (only one). I read it for what was a month or more in that holding cell. Sometimes I was there for 3 days, a week, or a month in that same holding cell. Just to be released and sent back as soon as I got out. I wasn’t even sure why this was going on until later (which I found out were 9 misdemeanors of probation violation). I’m not even sure how I violated my probation as I had a metal impairment I was born with, I did not understand the world.
At this time, on my last lock up with the probation school, they asked my mother to lock me up in juvenile hall. I remember her driving me there, which was the worse feeling in the world. She bought me a carrot cake (my favorite dessert) right before she handed me over to the juvenile detention center. I spent another month in that same holding cell. I cried and yelled for what I think was a month. Banging on the doors with no answer other than to let me use the restroom, then it was right back into that empty brick room with no sunlight. I was finally moved to unit 100 where they offered a chance to be a kitchen KP. I spent 8-9 months there not knowing when I would be released. Every time I would go to court (it was every two weeks) I would ask what’s going on. I was never told when I would be able to leave, and I was told to plead guilty time and time again. Everyday for those 8-9 months I listened 40-50 times a day for a slight beep from the intercom hoping that I would hear: Shovlin for release. Every day those 40-50 times went without an answer. I thought I was going crazy. I would run to my door and listen to realize there wasn’t a beep at all at times. I gave up and thought I would spend the rest of my life there in this miserable hole.
On the last day I was in the holding cell before court one last time. I was seen in a different area by my attorney. She said I was guilty of 9 misdemeanors of probation violation (equaling 3 felonies) and the two original felonies from when I was first arrested. This gave the court enough to send me to court room 9 (which at the time was a CYA courtroom) where they judge you 15 years to life. Fear and dread set in on me. I spent all day in that holding cell crying cringed in a corner on the bench. Sometimes someone would come to kick me (another inmate) but it mattered little since I was filled with despair and confusion. Right before a new attorney came to me (or it might have been a judge) I spent the last 5 minutes smashing my head on the concrete. While I was being attended for my battered head the attorney or judge came and sat next to me. It was the first time in a 3-4 year period where I was treated like a human.
They sat there with my head on their lap “petting” my head and telling me things are going to get better. At this time (it was the last part of the day) I was moved to court room 4 (social services). I was put in there confused and drained. The lady judge sat down and looked at the probation office and the DA and asked, “What are the 9 misdemeanors for” they explained. She was appalled and said, “I will cancel these misdemeanors, now onto the felonies. What did the felonies involve?” The probation and DA explained the scenario. Again she was appalled and stated, “For you to push these crimes on a child who apparently has trauma disgusts me. I wave all charges and allow the youth a onetime chance to better his life.” She looked at me and asked if I understood, and I told her no. She told me she will make everything disappear, my crimes and probation, if I pass the RTS facility called: Helicon.
