What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
My father passed away in December of 2012, from lung cancer. It had spread to his brain. For the entirety of December, he was bedridden and communication was varied. He was on a lot of morphine and slept most of the time. We wanted to make sure his live-in girlfriend knew we appreciated that she took care of him, so we included her making the funeral plans. She told us she was donating his personal property to charity, and we agreed to this. He hadn't left a will.
So, a few months pass. Word reaches us that she didn't donate anything to charity. She, instead, gave it to her father. My father didn't have much, but he had a few expensive guitars and amps and so forth. No one was happy with this, and while we were deciding what to do, the monument had been installed at the cemetery. This, too, she felt the need to take over. It was supposed to be double headstone, but one that clearly indicated that they were not married. We have never been on good terms with her--hell, my father wasn't on good terms with her most of the time--and we wanted the headstone to reflect that she was not our mother and that she was not his wife. She had initially agreed to this. And here's where it gets crazy:
The girlfriend begins telling people that she's getting her last name changed to Williams, like my father's. We were like, you're not, because you can't marry a dead man. Our feeling was that if he had wanted to marry her, he had more than enough time to do so. He didn't marry her, so ergo, she had no right to do that. But then she comes out with this gem: she says they were married in December, two weeks before he died. Well, you can't marry a guy who is practically in a coma, either. But it didn't stop there; apparently, my father signed a notarized piece of paper stating that none of his children were to receive any of his property. According to her, our father hated us so much, he managed to get out of his hospital bed, drive himself to the notary, and made this declaration.
We managed to get his personal property back, by threatening to sue. We later find out that she implied (or outright said) that she was my father's wife, allowing her to alter the headstone. It's upsetting to see the headstone as it stands, to be reminded of her lack of respect towards him and towards us. Don't we, as his heirs, technically own it?
My question is this: who is responsible for correcting this? Is it the girlfriend, who lied and misrepresented herself? Is it the funeral home who didn't make sure they were married? Or is it the monument company?
My father passed away in December of 2012, from lung cancer. It had spread to his brain. For the entirety of December, he was bedridden and communication was varied. He was on a lot of morphine and slept most of the time. We wanted to make sure his live-in girlfriend knew we appreciated that she took care of him, so we included her making the funeral plans. She told us she was donating his personal property to charity, and we agreed to this. He hadn't left a will.
So, a few months pass. Word reaches us that she didn't donate anything to charity. She, instead, gave it to her father. My father didn't have much, but he had a few expensive guitars and amps and so forth. No one was happy with this, and while we were deciding what to do, the monument had been installed at the cemetery. This, too, she felt the need to take over. It was supposed to be double headstone, but one that clearly indicated that they were not married. We have never been on good terms with her--hell, my father wasn't on good terms with her most of the time--and we wanted the headstone to reflect that she was not our mother and that she was not his wife. She had initially agreed to this. And here's where it gets crazy:
The girlfriend begins telling people that she's getting her last name changed to Williams, like my father's. We were like, you're not, because you can't marry a dead man. Our feeling was that if he had wanted to marry her, he had more than enough time to do so. He didn't marry her, so ergo, she had no right to do that. But then she comes out with this gem: she says they were married in December, two weeks before he died. Well, you can't marry a guy who is practically in a coma, either. But it didn't stop there; apparently, my father signed a notarized piece of paper stating that none of his children were to receive any of his property. According to her, our father hated us so much, he managed to get out of his hospital bed, drive himself to the notary, and made this declaration.
We managed to get his personal property back, by threatening to sue. We later find out that she implied (or outright said) that she was my father's wife, allowing her to alter the headstone. It's upsetting to see the headstone as it stands, to be reminded of her lack of respect towards him and towards us. Don't we, as his heirs, technically own it?
My question is this: who is responsible for correcting this? Is it the girlfriend, who lied and misrepresented herself? Is it the funeral home who didn't make sure they were married? Or is it the monument company?
Good thing you did! 