Discrimination against LGBT engaged couple at a wedding venue

[mnasidica]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My partner and I are planning on getting married in 2014. We visited a venue in Monticello, Florida, called Willow's Pond. Once there, the owner turned us away and said that he would not do business with us because it went against "his personal values" and he wouldn't feel right about hosting our ceremony.

When I contacted the news stations and reporters, the owner quickly back-peddled and tried to say that the only reason he said no was because we wouldn't be able to obtain a marriage license legally. This is clearly a way to discriminate against gay couples without explicitly wording it that way. There is nothing on their websites concerning licenses for weddings, or for any other event that they host. They have parties and meetings as well as weddings, and I'm sure they would also host a ceremony for renewing of vows, which also does not have a license.

On top of this, there was a gay couple I know personally who got married there two years ago. They have proof of this, and also obvious proof that they did not need to produce a marriage license and it was never questioned. The only reason their wedding went through was because the owner didn't found out and wasn't handling the wedding. If their practice and rules are to require licenses, why would an employee have allowed that past wedding to occur?

Please help me. I have never felt more embarrassed and debased by a business before, and I am embarrassed and terrified to move on with any wedding plans if I can be treated this way lawfully.

 

[tranquility]

How much do you want to spend? Do you want to try to be a test case? You're not having a bat mitzvah, but a wedding. That they allow bat mitvahs at the place is not really relevant. Currently, the FL Civil rights act covers:
760.01 Purposes; construction; title.

(1) Sections 760.01-760.11 and 509.092 shall be cited as the "Florida Civil Rights Act of 1992."

(2) The general purposes of the Florida Civil Rights Act of 1992 are to secure for all individuals within the state freedom from discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, handicap, or marital status and thereby to protect their interest in personal dignity, to make available to the state their full productive capacities, to secure the state against domestic strife and unrest, to preserve the public safety, health, and general welfare, and to promote the interests, rights, and privileges of individuals within the state.

(3) The Florida Civil Rights Act of 1992 shall be construed according to the fair import of its terms and shall be liberally construed to further the general purposes stated in this section and the special purposes of the particular provision involved.

The reason why you have to focus on state law is because of DOMA. While you would normally have some federal protection based on sexual orientation, this person is not preventing you from having your birthday there, but your wedding. While I don't think the particular issue here is protected by DOMA, I don't believe it has been litigated. Being the first to litigate something is expensive, time consuming and must become the focus of your life for a while.

Is that what you want or do you want to get married?

 

[ecmst12]

I would find someone else to take your money to, and tell all your friends to do the same.

 

[proud_parent]

I would find someone else to take your money to, and tell all your friends to do the same.

Two words: "destination wedding".

Some destinations to consider might be Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, DC...

 

[cbg]

While you would normally have some federal protection based on sexual orientation

What Federal protection would that be? Sexual orientation is not, at the present time, a protected characteristic under Federal law. I sincerely believe it ought to be, and hopefully at some point it will be, but it isn't at the moment.

 

[tranquility]

My mistake. I knew there was not a specific federal law against discrimination based on sexual orientation, but always believed the penumbras of recent court decisions would allow for something in public accommodations. On a quick check, I see there has not been a winning case at the appellate level. Wild.

 

[swalsh411]

1. It is not illegal currently for the venue to refuse to do business with you for this reason.

2. Why would you want to anyway? If somebody is bigoted against you because of who you love then why give them a penny of your hard-earned money?

3. If you are "terrified" because of this experience then are you sure you are ready to move forward with this public committment? This will not be the last time you face discrimination (whether unlawful or otherwise).

4. I don't understand why you would be "terrified" becaue a venue said they didn't want your business. Insulted, offended, hurt, etc are understandable but "terrified"? Maybe you need a little thicker skin.

5. And why would you be embarassed? I presume the people coming to your event know what is going on. The owner should be embarassed.

 

[stealth2]

I agree that the best "revenge" is to take your business elsewhere, and to let everyone you know why you have done so.

Apart from that? Congrats! May you have many years together!

 

[davew128]

And I thought dramas were only on television.

 

[tranquility]

And I thought dramas were only on television.

An interwebs meme:

http://2damnfunny.com/all-pictures/tv/exploiting-gay-divorce-court/

 

[xylene]

The same arguments could be made for any discriminatory conduct which is not exactly illegal...

 

[csi7]

If you still want to have the ceremony there, use someone else to set up the venue. The problem is now you made it public, and there are always going to be people looking to stir up dust just because.

The better thing to do would be to find a venue that will make everyone feel welcome, appreciate your business, and provide positive support for the ceremony.

 

[antrc170]

The business can reasonbly argue that they do not want to host any wedding where the legality of the wedding is in question since you will not have a marriage license.

Like everyone else here (so far) I hope that sexual perference is soon protected and wish you and your partner many years of happiness. Cheers!

 

[las365]

The business can reasonbly argue that they do not want to host any wedding where the legality of the wedding is in question

That would not be reasonable at all, in my opinion. The venue has no responsibility for the legitimacy of events that take place there. It is nothing to the venue whether the marrying couple has a valid marriage license, or a birthday party is on the actual birthdate, or the great year a company is celebrating was really a bust, or whether the folks at a family reunion are related.

 

[davew128]

That would not be reasonable at all, in my opinion. The venue has no responsibility for the legitimacy of events that take place there.

It doesn't NEED to be reasonable. It only needs to be legal, and it is. Sorry, but I have little sympathy for the OP here. A friend of mine from Mass got married to her partner some years back. They decided to move to NH. You wouldn't believe the tirade she threw after realizing (what should have been incredibly obvious) that NH would not recognize their marriage (at that time). Don't complain about the rules of the game when it doesn't cater to you.