Brother maxed mom's credit card. Options?

[qwiksilvertrav]

In Minnesota

So I'm power of attorney for my mom who is disabled. She's also be somewhat out of it over the past year due to getting old. So she finally told me about two weeks ago that he has maxed her credit card out and has left her paying the minimum payments.
Here's the story she told me and some specific occasions on his misuse of the card. She would borrow him the card to go get a couple of small things. She'd notice later on the bill he'd drop 500 on it at walmart etc. So after a couple times that this happened she borrowed the card to him again stating to JUST get the jacket he was going to get for his daughter and that's it. Well he went and dropped 1400 on two cell phones for him and his wife! Another similar instance where he bought an air hockey table! Then him and his wife also had written the card number and security code down and used to buy over a 1000.00 in iTunes in one month! She had no knowledge of this.

Overall is there Anything I can do? Can he get in trouble for theft for the ITunes at least? Do I have any chance, as her power of attorney, to get a judgment against him to pay back this debt of his considering her condition?

The situation is awful though. Her health has really declined over the past year and now she's stuck with a son that screwed her over! I really can't let him get away with this!!! He need's to be helping in making those payments!

 

[bdancer]

The problem is that your mother gave him the card and permission to use it. Then she kept lending him the card (not borrow) even after he repeatedly took advantage of her.

You stop the bleeding by reporting the card compromised and getting it closed. Probably not a good idea to get a new card as your mother will probably be talked into giving him the new card. You can try disputing recent unauthorized charges. Most cards require disputes to be filed within 60 days of it showing on the statement. Might work for the iTunes if those charges were recent.

You can attempt to sue your brother and might even win, but collecting the judgment will be another thing.

I also suggest you check your mother's credit report to see if there are other accounts that you are not aware of .... like credit cards in her name billled to his address or car loans in her name for his vehicle. You may even want to freeze her credit at all three credit bureaus so that your brother and even your mother can't open any new accounts.

I feel your pain. I also have a sorry brother who has milked my parents dry. When I tried to take over Mom's finances and put a stop to it, I just could not get Mom to see the light. Finally just had to let it go and let him exhaust all her finances and credit.

 

[latigo]

In Minnesota

So I'm power of attorney for my mom who is disabled. She's also be somewhat out of it over the past year due to getting old. So she finally told me about two weeks ago that he has maxed her credit card out and has left her paying the minimum payments.
Here's the story she told me and some specific occasions on his misuse of the card. She would borrow him the card to go get a couple of small things. She'd notice later on the bill he'd drop 500 on it at walmart etc. So after a couple times that this happened she borrowed the card to him again stating to JUST get the jacket he was going to get for his daughter and that's it. Well he went and dropped 1400 on two cell phones for him and his wife! Another similar instance where he bought an air hockey table! Then him and his wife also had written the card number and security code down and used to buy over a 1000.00 in iTunes in one month! She had no knowledge of this.

Overall is there Anything I can do? Can he get in trouble for theft for the ITunes at least? Do I have any chance, as her power of attorney, to get a judgment against him to pay back this debt of his considering her condition?

The situation is awful though. Her health has really declined over the past year and now she's stuck with a son that screwed her over! I really can't let him get away with this!!! He need's to be helping in making those payments!

PLEASE don't be misled to believe that just because your mother gave her son permission to use her credit card that he can't be held legally accountable for charges that exceeded the permissive use.

That's crazy. Its like her handing him her check book with signed checks instructing him to fill in the right amounts to pay her monthly household expenses and he and her daughter-in-law blow her bank account in Las Vegas!

In sum, it is not a "problem" as "bdancer" seems to envisage.

The "problem" here has to do with the limitations of your power of attorney. It does not give you standing in court to file suit on behalf of you mother.

What would give you that authority is to be appointed her guardian/conservator and then bring on the lawsuit in that representative capacity.

If you don't want him to get away with it - and you surely shouldn't - arrange a sit down with you, mom and your choice of lawyers. And talk to the attorney about seeking punitive damages against bro and sister-in-law. Because if it was I, I'd most assuredly bring her into the lawsuit.

Good luck

 

[bdancer]

PLEASE don't be misled to believe that just because your mother gave her son permission to use her credit card that he can't be held legally accountable for charges that exceeded the permissive use.

That's crazy. Its like her handing him her check book with signed checks instructing him to fill in the right amounts to pay her monthly household expenses and he and her daughter-in-law blow her bank account in Las Vegas!

In sum, it is not a "problem" as "bdancer" seems to envisage.

The "problem" here has to do with the limitations of your power of attorney. It does not give you standing in court to file suit on behalf of you mother.

What would give you that authority is to be appointed her guardian/conservator and then bring on the lawsuit in that representative capacity.

If you don't want him to get away with it - and you surely shouldn't - arrange a sit down with you, mom and your choice of lawyers. And talk to the attorney about seeking punitive damages against bro and sister-in-law. Because if it was I, I'd most assuredly bring her into the lawsuit.

Good luck

The "problem" is getting Mom to press charges or do anything to stop the son from taking advantage. Mom kept giving the son the card and allowing him to use it over and over, despite all the excess charges. I've personally watched my mother change her story to favor my sorry brother, despite red-handed proof he forged her signature on a check. Not a thing can be done once she says, I gave him permission. That is what makes this kind o situation a probem!

 

[latigo]

The "problem" is getting Mom to press charges or do anything to stop the son from taking advantage. Mom kept giving the son the card and allowing him to use it over and over, despite all the excess charges. I've personally watched my mother change her story to favor my sorry brother, despite red-handed proof he forged her signature on a check. Not a thing can be done once she says, I gave him permission. That is what makes this kind o situation a probem!

So, giving the son permission to use the credit card for a specific purpose creates a carte blanche? In other words, a license to steal. Is that your "professional" take?

If that were true and she loaned him her automobile to take his family to church, why couldn't he with impunity rip out the glass, weld the doors, hood and trunk lid shut and enter it in a Demolition Derby?

May I also point out that neither one's personal experiences nor those of kin folk serve to establish law.

 

[STEPHAN]

The first I would do is to cancel what was done within the last 60 days or so. The store should not have accepted payments done by your brother using her card.

They are obligated to check ID if the card has a female name and the buyer is male. Also, they should have checked the signature.

 

[Proserpina]

The first I would do is to cancel what was done within the last 60 days or so. The store should not have accepted payments done by your brother using her card.

They are obligated to check ID if the card has a female name and the buyer is male. Also, they should have checked the signature.

No they're not. Not even a little bit.

(In fact, both Mastercard and Visa specifically prohibit a vendor/merchant from requiring you to show ID before the purchase can be completed. They can ask, but they cannot make it a condition of sale. Read here: https://www.privacyrights.org/what-personal-information-should-you-give-merchants#2a )

Both Visa and Mastercard also allow for "no signature" purchases (even in face-to-face transactions) - and that's not even touching on the issue of online purchasing or the issue of unisex names, transgendered folk, etc.

 

[bdancer]

So, giving the son permission to use the credit card for a specific purpose creates a carte blanche? In other words, a license to steal. Is that your "professional" take?

If that were true and she loaned him her automobile to take his family to church, why couldn't he with impunity rip out the glass, weld the doors, hood and trunk lid shut and enter it in a Demolition Derby?

May I also point out that neither one's personal experiences nor those of kin folk serve to establish law.

You do love to argue, don't you??

 

[STEPHAN]

No they're not. Not even a little bit.

Maybe "required" was a wrong word. My company accepts credit cards and if I do not check IDs when something looks funny, the burden of prove is switched over to us.

 

[Proserpina]

Maybe "required" was a wrong word. My company accepts credit cards and if I do not check IDs when something looks funny, the burden of prove is switched over to us.

The point was, outside of (a few) exceptions, you can't refuse to complete the transaction based on the buyer's refusal to hand over ID.

It's not about the burden of proof. There is no shifting burden. What's the difference between a good forgery and no ID at all? You're not responsible for either.

 

[davew128]

Maybe "required" was a wrong word. My company accepts credit cards and if I do not check IDs when something looks funny, the burden of prove is switched over to us.

Then if you do it to the wrong customer who has a hair across their you know what, your company might find itself not being able to accept credit cards anymore since an ID requirement violated the merchant agreement. Personally, I take offense to being asked to provide ID because I choose credit over debit on the same card.

 

[Proserpina]

Then if you do it to the wrong customer who has a hair across their you know what, your company might find itself not being able to accept credit cards anymore since an ID requirement violated the merchant agreement. Personally, I take offense to being asked to provide ID because I choose credit over debit on the same card.

Too few people know this though. I suspect even fewer employees are aware of it.

(completely OT: every time I see your name I think of HAL 9000)

 

[single317dad]

If the brother used the card with mom's permission, and there was an agreement to repay mom for the purchases, then mom should collect those monies by whatever means necessary.

If the brother used the card with mom's permission, and there was an agreement NOT to repay mom for the purchases, then assuming mom is not incapacitated, everyone else should butt out.

If mom is incapacitated, then someone should step in legally and assist her in making financial decisions.

If the brother used the card without mom's permission, mom should call the police.

 

[single317dad]

PLEASE don't be misled to believe that just because your mother gave her son permission to use her credit card that he can't be held legally accountable for charges that exceeded the permissive use.

That's crazy. Its like her handing him her check book with signed checks instructing him to fill in the right amounts to pay her monthly household expenses and he and her daughter-in-law blow her bank account in Las Vegas!

In sum, it is not a "problem" as "bdancer" seems to envisage.

The "problem" here has to do with the limitations of your power of attorney. It does not give you standing in court to file suit on behalf of you mother.

What would give you that authority is to be appointed her guardian/conservator and then bring on the lawsuit in that representative capacity.

If you don't want him to get away with it - and you surely shouldn't - arrange a sit down with you, mom and your choice of lawyers. And talk to the attorney about seeking punitive damages against bro and sister-in-law. Because if it was I, I'd most assuredly bring her into the lawsuit.

Good luck

Just want to commend you on your constructive advice given here. I called you out in another thread, and I felt the need to do the opposite here.