personal "loans"

[just_asking]

The quick story...

In 2002, a friend of mine who was acting as the "manager" of my band offered to purchase an instrument for me ($2400 value new). No written record of this exists, but of course I intended to pay her back.

Because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know that this other girl (who I previously had casual sex with) bought anything, I paid back the money in installments through the guitar player of my band at the time. Again, no written record of any of this exists.

We had a falling out and parted ways (both the band and the manager). Now, almost 4 years later, this girl comes out of the woodwork claiming she wants repayment.

My question is...should I be worried that I'll have to pay her again? The guitar player who was the intermediary claims that he gave her the money I gave to him, but since he and I had a falling out as well (after the money exchanged hands), I can't be certain that he gave her any money.

Any advice on next steps?

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by just_asking

The quick story...

In 2002, a friend of mine who was acting as the "manager" of my band offered to purchase an instrument for me ($2400 value new). No written record of this exists, but of course I intended to pay her back.

Because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know that this other girl (who I previously had casual sex with) bought anything, I paid back the money in installments through the guitar player of my band at the time. Again, no written record of any of this exists.

We had a falling out and parted ways (both the band and the manager). Now, almost 4 years later, this girl comes out of the woodwork claiming she wants repayment.

My question is...should I be worried that I'll have to pay her again? The guitar player who was the intermediary claims that he gave her the money I gave to him, but since he and I had a falling out as well (after the money exchanged hands), I can't be certain that he gave her any money.

Any advice on next steps?

My question is...should I be worried that I'll have to pay her again?

I missed something...show me the part where you paid her the first time.

[just_asking]

"Because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know that this other girl (who I previously had casual sex with) bought anything, I paid back the money in installments through the guitar player of my band at the time. Again, no written record of any of this exists."

I used this guy as the intermediary because I didn't want my girlfriend at the time to know that she had purchased this for me.

The last I spoke with the guy about it, he did pay her the money, but obviously, I can't be 100 percent sure.

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by seniorjudge

My question is...should I be worried that I'll have to pay her again?

I missed something...show me the part where you paid her the first time.

Okay, so (according to you) you did NOT pay her back:

Originally Posted by just_asking

"Because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know that this other girl (who I previously had casual sex with) bought anything, I paid back the money in installments through the guitar player of my band at the time. Again, no written record of any of this exists."

I used this guy as the intermediary because I didn't want my girlfriend at the time to know that she had purchased this for me.

The last I spoke with the guy about it, he did pay her the money, but obviously, I can't be 100 percent sure.

Let's assume she sues you for this.

How are you going to prove the debt is still not valid?

[Neal1421]

Originally Posted by just_asking

"Because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know that this other girl (who I previously had casual sex with) bought anything, I paid back the money in installments through the guitar player of my band at the time. Again, no written record of any of this exists."

I used this guy as the intermediary because I didn't want my girlfriend at the time to know that she had purchased this for me.

The last I spoke with the guy about it, he did pay her the money, but obviously, I can't be 100 percent sure.

It all comes down to what can be proved in court in front of a judge.

She can probably prove that she bought the guitar by a receipt and you admit that she bought it for you.

Unless you have proof that you gave the money to your friend to give to the girl, if she takes you to court and the guy lies you lose.

Next time, if you can't get it yourself you don't need it.

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by Neal1421

...Next time, if you can't get it yourself you don't need it....

Remember the old saying: If it has a skirt or wheels, you can't afford it.

[zippysgoddess]

(Devil's Advocate)

On the other hand, what proof does she have that she bought it for you and you were supposed to pay her for it?

[Ladynred]

Once again - WHAT STATE ARE YOU IN ?????????

[just_asking]

This is in WV.

Actually, I have the receipt. It has my name on it, and shows I paid in cash.

The guy I asked to be the intermediary and pay the money to her for me...I haven't talked to him yet, but plan to.

But, this guy notwithstanding, if I have the receipt, does that help matters?

Also, this girl sued my ex girlfriend a few years back after an altercation at a bar. She dragged the thing out forever, eventually trying to sue the club where it occured to get some sort of financial compensation.

Given that history, would it be possible to prove a pattern of trying to suck money out of people?

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by just_asking

This is in WV.

Actually, I have the receipt. It has my name on it, and shows I paid in cash.

The guy I asked to be the intermediary and pay the money to her for me...I haven't talked to him yet, but plan to.

But, this guy notwithstanding, if I have the receipt, does that help matters?

Also, this girl sued my ex girlfriend a few years back after an altercation at a bar. She dragged the thing out forever, eventually trying to sue the club where it occured to get some sort of financial compensation.

Given that history, would it be possible to prove a pattern of trying to suck money out of people?

Q: Given that history, would it be possible to prove a pattern of trying to suck money out of people?

A: No, that is irrelevant to your case. BUT since you have the receipt, that is certainly a point in your favor to show that it was bought. The rest of the story is who paid what and when.

[just_asking]

So am I to presume that it's a case of "my word against hers"? Given this instance, wouldn't past precedent be considered?

[seniorjudge]

Q: So am I to presume that it's a case of "my word against hers"?

A: Yes.



Q: Given this instance, wouldn't past precedent be considered?

A: See prior my prior response.

[just_asking]

Hey, can't hurt a fellow for trying

I appreciate the advice, by the way. For all I know, the threat of legal action could've been just that -- a threat. We have a long history of contempt for each other, so I am sure she has been biding her time, waiting for an opportunity to "get" me. She started sending nasty e-mails to our web site, which is how all this began. I made the dumb mistake of responding rashly, mentioning that I paid money through my friend for the equipment. Thusly, she now has documentation that there was an assumption that I'd pay her back...but I don't think there's an indication of how much. Considering our sexual history and the fact that she bought clothes and other things for me and the other band members, this could be considered yet another "gift" from her.