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  1. #1
    kathkevin9 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Longmont, Colorado
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    Abled spouse leaves disabled spouse

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado, but we spent all of our marriage in Maryland

    My husband of 9 years told me a few months ago that he does not want to be married anymore. We've been together 16 yrs and I am 12 years older than he is. He is 45, I am 57, so you expect it to be the quintessential "mid-life" crisis. The problem is that I have been disabled for 2 years since spinal surgery. I suffer from Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and Arthritis. I am not wheelchair bound, but cannot work because of the constant pain. He pretty much told me that this is not what he signed on for!
    Here is the kicker. A year and a half ago, he built his dream home for us. It was much larger than just 2 people need, and went way overbudget. He spent all of this money and incurred alot of debt on this house while I was recuperating. Very little of that debt is in my name, but even with his 6 figure income and my disability, we could not pay the bills. He is very passive-aggressive and just stopped caring. When I finally couldnt take it anymore, I told him he needed to be involved in the bill-paying or I wasn't going to do it anymore. About a month and a half later he told me he didn't love me anymore. I tried to stay in the house, but could not generate enough income even with several roomates. He had stopped paying the mortgage. I told him I had to move out and he decided to move back in when I did.
    I had nowhere to go so I moved to Colorado to be near my daughter. I had no money for this move, so sold almost everything I had on Craigslist to make the move. '
    We do not have a legal separation agreement because he claimed he would pay my car payment, insurance, and healthcare costs along with $1000 per month. Which in reality is much less than the support I have given him for all of these years.
    A week after I moved here he was fired from his job. Now he has not paid any of the promised accounts and I have received $500 from him in two months, but this was from things that had sold after I left.
    He has started a new job, same 6 figure income, but I do not have health insurance coverage, and cannot afford to pay both my rent & expenses and my car payment.
    I just found out that he is declaring bankruptcy and that I could be liable for the debts we do share. I can't pay them.
    The house is being foreclosed and his truck payment has not been made for 3 months.
    Should I just go ahead and file for legal separation or divorce and ask for spousal support and health insurance? He makes $125,000 year and I make $19,000 in SSI
    Sorry this is so long, but it is complicated and hard to put into words
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,153
    Quote Originally Posted by kathkevin9 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado, but we spent all of our marriage in Maryland

    My husband of 9 years told me a few months ago that he does not want to be married anymore. We've been together 16 yrs and I am 12 years older than he is. He is 45, I am 57, so you expect it to be the quintessential "mid-life" crisis. The problem is that I have been disabled for 2 years since spinal surgery. I suffer from Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and Arthritis. I am not wheelchair bound, but cannot work because of the constant pain. He pretty much told me that this is not what he signed on for!
    Here is the kicker. A year and a half ago, he built his dream home for us. It was much larger than just 2 people need, and went way overbudget. He spent all of this money and incurred alot of debt on this house while I was recuperating. Very little of that debt is in my name, but even with his 6 figure income and my disability, we could not pay the bills. He is very passive-aggressive and just stopped caring. When I finally couldnt take it anymore, I told him he needed to be involved in the bill-paying or I wasn't going to do it anymore. About a month and a half later he told me he didn't love me anymore. I tried to stay in the house, but could not generate enough income even with several roomates. He had stopped paying the mortgage. I told him I had to move out and he decided to move back in when I did.
    I had nowhere to go so I moved to Colorado to be near my daughter. I had no money for this move, so sold almost everything I had on Craigslist to make the move. '
    We do not have a legal separation agreement because he claimed he would pay my car payment, insurance, and healthcare costs along with $1000 per month. Which in reality is much less than the support I have given him for all of these years.
    A week after I moved here he was fired from his job. Now he has not paid any of the promised accounts and I have received $500 from him in two months, but this was from things that had sold after I left.
    He has started a new job, same 6 figure income, but I do not have health insurance coverage, and cannot afford to pay both my rent & expenses and my car payment.
    I just found out that he is declaring bankruptcy and that I could be liable for the debts we do share. I can't pay them.
    The house is being foreclosed and his truck payment has not been made for 3 months.
    Should I just go ahead and file for legal separation or divorce and ask for spousal support and health insurance? He makes $125,000 year and I make $19,000 in SSI
    Sorry this is so long, but it is complicated and hard to put into words
    You may need to file for bankruptcy as well, and you really need an attorney.

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