About to leave need advice

[BostonBrady]

What is the name of your state? Mass

I am 21, married, 2 children. My wife is out of control, verbally abusive, threatening to me, alcoholic, I am planning on leaving the house Friday, moving in with my parents for now. I know the marriage will be over, she is very mean and vindictive. Someone told me I should not leave or it will be considered that I abandoned the family and this will cause me problems. She is a rageaholic and my presence is probably making things worse. I plan on supporting them - can I leave, will this be an issue?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Mass

I am 21, married, 2 children. My wife is out of control, verbally abusive, threatening to me, alcoholic, I am planning on leaving the house Friday, moving in with my parents for now. I know the marriage will be over, she is very mean and vindictive. Someone told me I should not leave or it will be considered that I abandoned the family and this will cause me problems. She is a rageaholic and my presence is probably making things worse. I plan on supporting them - can I leave, will this be an issue?

So you plan on leaving your two young children with this out of control, verbally abusive, drunken woman that suffers from a rage issue?

 

[Silverplum]

So you plan on leaving your two young children with this out of control, verbally abusive, drunken woman that suffers from a rage issue?

It's a GRAND plan!

Dude. What are you thinking??

 

[BostonBrady]

It will be a 2 step process. She has never raised her voice to the kids, her rage is all directed at me. She drinks when she goes out, not at home. she will not be able to go out, as I will not be there to watch the kids. She goes out to get away from me. I am the epicenter of the issue here for whatever reason.

But thanks for reminding me how bad everything is and not answering the question.

 

[Silverplum]

But thanks for reminding me how bad everything is and not answering the question.

I'm going to cut you some slack for being pissy and rude, because you are young and under stress. But quit the pissy/rude junk, dude -- remember, this is FREE help, and we can walk away if we want.

IF you leave without your kids, you are telling the court that she is a fine mother and you trust her to take care of them. You will never, ever get primary custody. Unless, of course, she dies. Then you might get primary custody.

 

[CJane]

It will be a 2 step process.

I don't see a second step in your chosen course of action. Silverplum is absolutely correct that by leaving the children with her, you will eliminate ANY chance of using her alcoholism/rage/whatever against her in a custody battle. All she'd have to do is walk in there and say "He left them with me for X months while this was pending. Clearly he thinks I'm an ok caregiver."

Who is the person who PRIMARILY takes care of the children? When considering divorce and what you might use against her, you need to VERY CAREFULLY consider what she might be able to use against you.

What's your PLAN? You definitely, because you have children, need something more than "I'm moving in with my parents because she's mean."

 

[BostonBrady]

I got advice from an attorney yesterday - all set.

Sorry you considered me pissy, but this is a free advice forum, not a free smart aleck comments forum. If you wanted to make a point, you could have said "Gee, Brady, maybe you should see an attorney about taking the kids with you".

I am sure you have good information to share, but it can be lost in the delivery.

Good luck to everyone.

 

[Silverplum]

I got advice from an attorney yesterday - all set.

That's always the best plan in this situation -- to get an attorney. Good for you.

Sorry you considered me pissy,

S'okay. Told you I'd cut you some slack.

but this is a free advice forum, not a free smart aleck comments forum.

Pulling on the slack a little already, aren'tcha?

If you wanted to make a point, you could have said "Gee, Brady, maybe you should see an attorney about taking the kids with you".
I am sure you have good information to share, but it can be lost in the delivery.

But was I/were we WRONG??? According to your new attorney, were we wrong in what we told you, legally???