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Abused US Resident Divorce rights over settlement funds

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clueless44

Junior Member
I am a US Resident by marriage and I currently reside in Ohio with my husband of 4 years. My husband had a domestic violence charge against him from his first marriage and in the 4 years of our marriage I have called the police to our house twice but both times I have not followed through with the charges as I felt horrible depriving my step kids of a father. I know I was stupid but I was hoping that he would change and learn his lesson as I was told that if he was found guilty he would be going to jail for a long time. He has pushed me, hit me, spat at me, pulled me etc a few times and a few of my friends know about these incidents. I have also recorded a few times on my phone when he screams and shouts profanities at me. We both started going to counseling when the first incident happened as we were instructed by the court to do so. we each went and saw separate councilors and once a month we would have joined appointments. He wanted to stop those and just didn't bother showing up at the appointment but cancelling with his councilor, as he felt that because our 2 councilors were women and he was the only man there we were attacking him. Shortly after that my councilor retired due to health problems. My question is. When we got married we couldn't sign a prenup due to the fact that I was a non resident but by marrying me he had to sign a form to support me and my 2 daughters while we are still residents. I am getting to the point where I cannot remain married to this horrible man and he will never change. When we got married we agreed that I would buy groceries and support my 2 girls and he would take care of everything else around the house, which does not happen as he constantly tells me how broke he is(which is not true) and makes me pay for things..like the car insurance and when we go out. For our anniversary he gave me a gift card to his favorite restaurant and then took me out to dinner and used the card. Both my girls are in college and one is an international students as she was 18 when we got married. I have co signed for 2 of her student loans at 11.5% interest and taken a parent loan to keep her in college as because of her status she cannot get a student loan. My credit rating is in the low 600's. I am working really hard and stressing about her next College year coming up in August and how I will find the money to pay for that, Her father overseas has not paid a dime towards my girls as he is overseas and he knows that unless I go there and seek legal help, which will take months, I cannot legally do anything to him and besides that they both over the age of 18. My current husband won a legal case against a doctor 10 years prior to our marriage and he has quite large checks arriving annually from that claim. I only found out about this 2 years ago when my step daughter mentioned it to me, as her mom told her about it. I cannot stay married to this man anymore, We got into another fight last night and he pushed onto a chair and then pushed me onto the floor. I would like to know if I have any right over that money as we had the house before we got married and I cannot afford to move out with my current income and the way my situation is. I did go and see a lawyer a couple of years ago when we were separated while the case was waiting to go to court and he asked for a $3000.00 deposit before he would take the case, I have asked a couple other lawyers just generally and I was always told that a deposit is required.
I could use any advise possible.
Thanking you in advance...
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
I am a US Resident by marriage and I currently reside in Ohio with my husband of 4 years. My husband had a domestic violence charge against him from his first marriage and in the 4 years of our marriage I have called the police to our house twice but both times I have not followed through with the charges as I felt horrible depriving my step kids of a father. I know I was stupid but I was hoping that he would change and learn his lesson as I was told that if he was found guilty he would be going to jail for a long time. He has pushed me, hit me, spat at me, pulled me etc a few times and a few of my friends know about these incidents. I have also recorded a few times on my phone when he screams and shouts profanities at me. We both started going to counseling when the first incident happened as we were instructed by the court to do so. we each went and saw separate councilors and once a month we would have joined appointments. He wanted to stop those and just didn't bother showing up at the appointment but cancelling with his councilor, as he felt that because our 2 councilors were women and he was the only man there we were attacking him. Shortly after that my councilor retired due to health problems. My question is. When we got married we couldn't sign a prenup due to the fact that I was a non resident but by marrying me he had to sign a form to support me and my 2 daughters while we are still residents. I am getting to the point where I cannot remain married to this horrible man and he will never change. When we got married we agreed that I would buy groceries and support my 2 girls and he would take care of everything else around the house, which does not happen as he constantly tells me how broke he is(which is not true) and makes me pay for things..like the car insurance and when we go out. For our anniversary he gave me a gift card to his favorite restaurant and then took me out to dinner and used the card. Both my girls are in college and one is an international students as she was 18 when we got married. I have co signed for 2 of her student loans at 11.5% interest and taken a parent loan to keep her in college as because of her status she cannot get a student loan. My credit rating is in the low 600's. I am working really hard and stressing about her next College year coming up in August and how I will find the money to pay for that, Her father overseas has not paid a dime towards my girls as he is overseas and he knows that unless I go there and seek legal help, which will take months, I cannot legally do anything to him and besides that they both over the age of 18. My current husband won a legal case against a doctor 10 years prior to our marriage and he has quite large checks arriving annually from that claim. I only found out about this 2 years ago when my step daughter mentioned it to me, as her mom told her about it. I cannot stay married to this man anymore, We got into another fight last night and he pushed onto a chair and then pushed me onto the floor. I would like to know if I have any right over that money as we had the house before we got married and I cannot afford to move out with my current income and the way my situation is. I did go and see a lawyer a couple of years ago when we were separated while the case was waiting to go to court and he asked for a $3000.00 deposit before he would take the case, I have asked a couple other lawyers just generally and I was always told that a deposit is required.
I could use any advise possible.
Thanking you in advance...


You can sue him for support (separate from child support) using the I-864.

Here are a few links you can read; in particular read the cases mentioned:

http://www.ilw.com/articles/2006,0110-wheeler.shtm

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/368751-divorce-and-the-i-864/

http://www.floridabar.org/DIVCOM/JN/JNJournal01.nsf/c0d731e03de9828d852574580042ae7a/2cbe6a52e76636f28525763b00661a63!OpenDocument&Highlight=0,*
 

clueless44

Junior Member
What is co mingled mean? He has put the money in his savings account and is looking to buy a camp. When I ask him how he will buy the camp he responds through the bank (mortgage/Loan)
 

clueless44

Junior Member
I will check out the references at work tomorrow and the form. I hope this is something that will help me. Thank you
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
I am a US Resident by marriage and I currently reside in Ohio with my husband of 4 years. My husband had a domestic violence charge against him from his first marriage and in the 4 years of our marriage I have called the police to our house twice but both times I have not followed through with the charges as I felt horrible depriving my step kids of a father. I know I was stupid but I was hoping that he would change and learn his lesson as I was told that if he was found guilty he would be going to jail for a long time. He has pushed me, hit me, spat at me, pulled me etc a few times and a few of my friends know about these incidents. I have also recorded a few times on my phone when he screams and shouts profanities at me. We both started going to counseling when the first incident happened as we were instructed by the court to do so. we each went and saw separate councilors and once a month we would have joined appointments. He wanted to stop those and just didn't bother showing up at the appointment but cancelling with his councilor, as he felt that because our 2 councilors were women and he was the only man there we were attacking him. Shortly after that my councilor retired due to health problems. My question is. When we got married we couldn't sign a prenup due to the fact that I was a non resident but by marrying me he had to sign a form to support me and my 2 daughters while we are still residents. I am getting to the point where I cannot remain married to this horrible man and he will never change. When we got married we agreed that I would buy groceries and support my 2 girls and he would take care of everything else around the house, which does not happen as he constantly tells me how broke he is(which is not true) and makes me pay for things..like the car insurance and when we go out. For our anniversary he gave me a gift card to his favorite restaurant and then took me out to dinner and used the card. Both my girls are in college and one is an international students as she was 18 when we got married. I have co signed for 2 of her student loans at 11.5% interest and taken a parent loan to keep her in college as because of her status she cannot get a student loan. My credit rating is in the low 600's. I am working really hard and stressing about her next College year coming up in August and how I will find the money to pay for that, Her father overseas has not paid a dime towards my girls as he is overseas and he knows that unless I go there and seek legal help, which will take months, I cannot legally do anything to him and besides that they both over the age of 18. My current husband won a legal case against a doctor 10 years prior to our marriage and he has quite large checks arriving annually from that claim. I only found out about this 2 years ago when my step daughter mentioned it to me, as her mom told her about it. I cannot stay married to this man anymore, We got into another fight last night and he pushed onto a chair and then pushed me onto the floor. I would like to know if I have any right over that money as we had the house before we got married and I cannot afford to move out with my current income and the way my situation is. I did go and see a lawyer a couple of years ago when we were separated while the case was waiting to go to court and he asked for a $3000.00 deposit before he would take the case, I have asked a couple other lawyers just generally and I was always told that a deposit is required.
I could use any advise possible.

Thanking you in advance...
It can be made part of the divorce order that your spouse has to pay for your attorney. You'll have to keep contacting attorneys until you find one that is willing to get paid in this way. :cool:
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
Co-mingled, means used in the marriage. How much do you earn? It appears you have a household of 2 correct?

What is co mingled mean? He has put the money in his savings account and is looking to buy a camp. When I ask him how he will buy the camp he responds through the bank (mortgage/Loan)
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
So he sponsored you to come to this country? What makes you think he should have to help support children that aren't his and who are over the age of 18? It sounds like you used him to get over here and want to get his money and be free of the marriage. Perhaps you should have stayed in your own country.
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
So he sponsored you to come to this country? What makes you think he should have to help support children that aren't his and who are over the age of 18? It sounds like you used him to get over here and want to get his money and be free of the marriage. Perhaps you should have stayed in your own country.
It is close to the magic time period where OP can get citizenship. What else does she need him for.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
So he sponsored you to come to this country? What makes you think he should have to help support children that aren't his and who are over the age of 18? It sounds like you used him to get over here and want to get his money and be free of the marriage. Perhaps you should have stayed in your own country.


So many people have absolutely NO idea what they're getting into when they sign that pesky I-864.

It's a binding contract between the sponsor and the US government - and every single case I've seen that's gone to court has been ruled in favor of the immigrant.
 

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