Adultry to Irreconcilable Differences???

[txskibum]

What is the name of your state? TEXAS

Hello.

I have filed for a divorce after I found out my wife was cheating. I filed under adultery, and I have prepared a divorce decree myself (to save money). In the decree, I included:

“THE COURT FINDS that the marriage of Petitioner and Respondent has become insupportable because the Respondent has committed adultery and the Petitioner finds it intolerable to live with the Respondent.”

However, my wife wants me to put in “irreconcilable differences”.

Question:
What do I gain by leaving in, or modifying this clause? I thought I would leave it in, just incase she decided to come after more money or something. So far, we have agreed on everything else in the decree…except this.

Thank you for your time

[seagoing]

Texas is not a sole no fault state.You can file fault or no fault. Texas law recognizes only the following grounds as sufficient for granting a no-fault divorce: (1) the marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities that has destroyed the legitimate ends of the marriage relationship and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation; or (2) living separate and apart without cohabitation for three years. ,.Filing at fault ,would be at fault .ThisCOULD benefit you in the process, especially where property division comes to play.Since Texas doesn't use "irreconcible differances"however she would probably agree with the (1) no-fault reason,but I agree ,having a fault reason and not using it could cost you.You will need to have good proof of the adultry Heres a site that explains , [url]http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/ObjectID/6191B9DC-00BF-42CA-A5ADA95C2AEC5196/catID/995EE405-21AA-4B4A-97CBABD905A37E1B/118/246/222/FAQ/[/url]

[CJane]

According to this site [url]http://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas/txfaq01[/url] irreconcilable differences isn't grounds in TX.

I don't understand why you'd make this the sticking point if you agree on everything else though. All the 'grounds' do is give the judge something to take into consideration when splitting the assets if the proposed split is contested.

[LdiJ]

Texas is also a community property state.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by CJane

According to this site [url]http://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas/txfaq01[/url] irreconcilable differences isn't grounds in TX.

I don't understand why you'd make this the sticking point if you agree on everything else though. All the 'grounds' do is give the judge something to take into consideration when splitting the assets if the proposed split is contested.

Question:
What do I gain by leaving in, or modifying this clause? I thought I would leave it in, just incase she decided to come after more money or something. So far, we have agreed on everything else in the decree…except this.

I think OP is asking for guidance because he wants to protect his @ss in case something comes up now or in the future.

I believe he has a good reason to ask these questions.

[hazeysky]

Divorce Laws can vary from state to state. In most instances proving adultery can be useful normally for money/ alimony purposes. Judges can excersize their authority in this area. Ex: In NY a close friend was divorced, proved her husband cheated on her (two kids) . The Judge granted a nice alimony settlement based on this testimony. Used many times to get money settlements.

[txskibum]

Thank you for all the replies. Since im not looking for spousal support or money settlement, i guess i will take out the adultry. i dont think she will re-file for more child support down the road. it would only get ugly, and would just hurt the children, if nothing else. i dont want this to be a typical ugly long expensive divorce! we get along for the most part, and will likely be best friends in the future.... thanks again!

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by txskibum

Thank you for all the replies. Since im not looking for spousal support or money settlement, i guess i will take out the adultry. i dont think she will re-file for more child support down the road. it would only get ugly, and would just hurt the children, if nothing else. i dont want this to be a typical ugly long expensive divorce! we get along for the most part, and will likely be best friends in the future.... thanks again!

Sure she will, if she has primary custody. Child support is not a set figure forever. In TX, it can be modified every 3 years or by request of either parent:
[url]http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=TX#11[/url]

And it doesn't need to be "ugly." And it certainly does NOT have to "hurt the children." The CS is FOR the children!

[CJane]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

Sure she will, if she has primary custody. Child support is not a set figure forever. In TX, it can be modified every 3 years or by request of either parent:
[url]http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=TX#11[/url]

And it doesn't need to be "ugly." And it certainly does NOT have to "hurt the children." The CS is FOR the children!

Also, it's unlikely that her 'affair' would impact a child support amount anyway.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by CJane

Also, it's unlikely that her 'affair' would impact a child support amount anyway.

Absolutely I agree.

[BelizeBreeze]

Under Texas Family Code, Adultery is considered Marital Misconduct .

My advise is NOT to take the grounds out of your initial pleading until such time as you and the stbx negotiate the property settlement including marital bills, custody and/or support. once you have what you think is fair, THEN you can agree to file jointly under no-fault for the divorce.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by txskibum

Thank you for all the replies. Since im not looking for spousal support or money settlement, i guess i will take out the adultry. i dont think she will re-file for more child support down the road. it would only get ugly, and would just hurt the children, if nothing else. i dont want this to be a typical ugly long expensive divorce! we get along for the most part, and will likely be best friends in the future.... thanks again!

The question you need to ask is, is SHE looking for spousal support or a better monetary settlement. Unless you have a fairly substantial amount of assets or debt involved, the monetary settlement will most likely not be affected by the adultery. As has already been pointed out, the adultery will have NO impact at all on child support, now or in the future.

An at fault divorce is almost always a lengthy and expensive one. You need to weigh the risks and benefits before you make a final decision.