advice

[beckycsu]

What is the name of your state?Alabama. My husband and I were married on October 22, 2004. I am 19 years old, he is 20 years old. We decided to marry due to the fact that i became pregnant. From the start, he didnt want the baby. He wanted to wait and see if I miscarried before we got married, but to save face, I insisted we go ahead. Immediately, he began verbal and physical abuse. Not hitting, but pushing and shoving etc. He didnt want the baby unless it was a boy. Well, on January 15, 2005 I left him and moved back home with my parents. I want to get a divorce and I want full custody of the baby, because I feel he isnt responsible enough to care for a baby. If he treated me the way he did, how would he treat a defenseless child? I found out it is a boy, and now suddenly he wants the baby and wants to be involved in his life. I am wondering if I could use getting half of everything he has as incentive to go along with my demands in the divorce. I dont know if there is a time limit on how long a couple has to be married before everything is legally half mine. I don't care about his house and vehicles, and I dont want money from him. I just want full custody and I want him to leave me alone. I would just like some advice on what to do because I am in the dark about it. Thank you.

 

[stealth2]

Well guess what? You don't get to make that decision. Since you are married, the child is presumed to be his and he has the same rights as you do to parent him.

As for what you'll "get" out of the marriage, a judge is most likely to set you both back to where you were when you got married.

 

[beckycsu]

hey. i thought that in a child custody situation, a parent could get sole custody of a child, with the other parent having no visitation rights. and based on his abusive behavior, i dont see why this couldnt be accomplished in my situation. i am not familiar with state laws in cases like this, but anyone who is please let me know. thank you.

 

[stealth2]

For starters - do you have documentation of the abuse? As in - did you call the cops, go to the ER, etc? Generally, what you've described is not going to be enough to terminate his rights, or even deny any visitation - being a lousy husband does not preclude being a good father. The state prefers to see a child being supported by both parents. In order to terminate his right to parent the child, he'd have to be on the order of a serial child molester, convicted of child abuse, etc.