Advice Needed-TX

[bigbird74]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into however, here's the situation. Caught my STBX cheating in June, he left, moved in with his 19 Y.O. girlfriend and her parents (he's 38 BTW and has a daughter who's 19), they have since rented a house together, he filed for divorce pro-se on our son's birthday, wrote $500 in hot checks on our joint account I closed, is supporting girlfriend and her kid, left me with all the debt because everything was in my name except a couple of credit cards he since maxed out. I am also having to do this pro se due to my debt load and suddenly being a single mom with 3 kids. He was ordered to pay child support because I filed through the Attorney General but it is only half of what he should be paying, no temporary spousal support due to the fact I don't know how to file to ask for it, although since I have several emails from the new GF telling me she "don't got to work", I believe I should get it.

Then, I filed a motion for a continuance hoping to get more time to get the money for an attorney, at the hearing, having him show up with the new GF who didn't have the sense not to show up for court wearing flip flops and cut off shorts, I just lost it, and ended up kicking him in the shin and when I got to the parking lot, keyed his car. Irrational, I know, however, he got a protective order against me and is now having me charged with assault and criminal mischief. I did it, never denied it, whatever.

So long background, but here's my question: What is the likelihood that if I file a motion for continuance based on the pending criminal charges against me, since they're tied to the divorce and protective order, will I receive the continuance? I am thinking that if I argue that depending on the outcome of the criminal charges (i.e. the punishment I receive) they could affect the divorce and the custody/visitation arrangement. That would be my argument at least, he has not had any visitation since my 4 year old came back from a weekend and I caught him simulating a sex act and proceeded to tell me he saw it at "daddy's girlfriend's house". But that's a whole other matter...

thanks for any advice you can give me! In case anybody is wondering, there are 2 reasons I want to continue the final divorce, 1. to keep my health insurance, as I have began therapy to deal with my "divorce related anger" and 2. because STBX and the new GF are in a rush to get married (don't know why, I was his 5th! Like my mom told me, "didn't you see the red flags?")

[mistoffolees]

See if there's legal aid available in your area. You really don't want to do this on your own. You're too emotionally involved to be able to present a rational case so you're likely to make things worse for yourself. If that won't work, start calling attorneys to see if any will work out a payment plan for you.

Did you file a report with CPS on the child's behavior? ANY time you see that type of behavior, a report should be filed.

[Ronin]

I am thinking that if I argue that depending on the outcome of the criminal charges (i.e. the punishment I receive) they could affect the divorce and the custody/visitation arrangement. That would be my argument at least,

Thats not an argument you should raise in court. Even more reason you should take the advice given to hire an attorney to protect your interests, answer your divorce on the proper grounds, get any temporary spousal support you may be entitled to, and ensure you are getting the proper amount of child support.

If your husband is pro se, all the better, since a good family law attorney should be able to light a fire under him in court.

Any or all of these will likely offset the costs of an attorney, and make your life easier than the alternative of trying to these legal matters on your own.

[bigbird74]

Ok, here's the latest and I pretty much just have one question.

Filed a Motion for Continuance based on the fact that I received no response to my initial discovery requests along with a second request for my discovery. Had a hearing Monday for which he did not show, he didn't get the notice till the afternoon of. I was told to return this morning which was supposed to be our Final Hearing and argue for my continuance. Turns out they were holding a criminal trial in the same courtroom and it was going to be continued anyway.

However, my STBX supposedly answered my discovery, of which I was handed a copy of this morning. In response to my requests for production of such things as bank statements, insurance policies, tax returns, he responded, "the Respondent has copies of" or "the Respondent has access to" or even to the requests for bank statements "he doesn't feel safe giving me that information" Not exactly verbatim, but you get the idea.

Whether or not I have copies of the tax returns, of which I only have 2008, or "access to" a certain document, if I asked him to provide me a copy of whatever it is I am asking for, he has to. Am I not correct? So I'm thinking my next step is to file a motion to compel to have the judge order him to provide the actual documents, not for him to tell me that I already have them.

Thanks for the help!

[Ronin]

If you can be reasonably expected to have access to the same information you are requesting, then just because you ask for it by means of discovery does not mean this information HAS to be given it to you.

Either way, he did answer your requests for discovery, and gave you his objections for doing so. The ball is now back in your court to move to compel this information if you really need it.

[bigbird74]

Ok, here's what I'm trying to get at, my husband left me with 3 kids (only one is his biologically, however, he was "daddy" for 5 of my daughter's 6 years) for a 19 year old that has a 4 year old, who my husband is now supporting because she "don't need to work". While in the last week I have applied for free lunches at school for my kids, food stamps, and my 4 year old has holes in his shoes! The child support I am receiving from my STBX does not even cover my cost of child care much less any expenses beyond that. I have never been in the situation where I worry about whether or not my kids are going to have enough to eat. This on top of the fact that he just walked out and left me with close to $10K in debt that 99% was in my name due to his poor credit and has not given me a dime to pay any of it.

So yes, I believe that my asking for his financial history for the six months we've been separated is very important in my case. How can a judge not look at the situation and see that? As far as I'm concerned it's not that I "have access" to it or not, now I feel he is hiding assets and trying to worm his way out of providing me with proof of his income and debts he's been paying not only for himself but his new GF and her kid. I'm sure her shoes don't have holes and they're not worried about her having enough to eat.

UGH!!!

[mistoffolees]

You really need an attorney. You will be able to force him to provide the financial information, but you're not likely to be able to do it on your own. Seriously, contact legal aid to see if they can help. You might also see if CPS can recommend anyone to represent the children's interest, at the very least.

The argument that you should have the information won't fly. First, any information you might have is outdated. Second, simply saying "I don't have it and never did" would be sufficient to get a court order for him to turn it over.

[LdiJ]

I agree with the advice that you have received so far, but I am going to tell you honestly that if you were his 5th wife, the you need to realize that he has "been there/done that" 4 other times and is probably more saavy than you are as to what happens in a divorce.

In fact, I suspect that if you talk to his other 4 ex wives you will find that they ended up paying debt and not getting the full child support they were due.

You need to figure out how to support yourself and your children without relying on him...so you can consider anything that you do get from him as a bonus rather than a necessity.

Just as an aside, I cannot BELIEVE that the 19 year old's parents are allowing him to live in their home with their daughter...that just blows me away.