Advice would be greatly appreciated!

[ShizamSammich]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut

I am inquiring advice for a close friend of mine. She is a mother of 3 children and is in the process of getting divorced. Her and the soon to be ex both reside in the state of CT. She is filing for alimony until the divorce is finalized but her husband is claiming if she does she is bringing her up on adultery due to her visiting a friend in Texas. Nothing had happened between her and her friend but he believes otherwise. He has no evidence such as media or surveillance. She is worried that his plea could hold water in court and she will be taken away from her kids. Does she have anything to fear? I was in a similar situation from his standpoint but couldnt prove it, therefore nothing was factually evident in the court of law.

She is also planning on moving out of state after it, the divorce, is finalized. Is there anything he can do to prevent that, as far as taking the kids out of state?

Any help would be greatly appreciated and if further information is needed please feel free to ask!

-Concerned Friend-

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut

I am inquiring advice for a close friend of mine. She is a mother of 3 children and is in the process of getting divorced. Her and the soon to be ex both reside in the state of CT. She is filing for alimony until the divorce is finalized but her husband is claiming if she does she is bringing her up on adultery due to her visiting a friend in Texas. Nothing had happened between her and her friend but he believes otherwise. He has no evidence such as media or surveillance. She is worried that his plea could hold water in court and she will be taken away from her kids. Does she have anything to fear? I was in a similar situation from his standpoint but couldnt prove it, therefore nothing was factually evident in the court of law.

She is also planning on moving out of state after it, the divorce, is finalized. Is there anything he can do to prevent that, as far as taking the kids out of state?

Any help would be greatly appreciated and if further information is needed please feel free to ask!

-Concerned Friend-

How long were they married? Do she work?

She will have to PROVE in court that taking the children away from their father, school, family is in THEIR best interest. If she is granted the move away she will have to provide ALL the transportation for the children to visit their father.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut

I am inquiring advice for a close friend of mine. She is a mother of 3 children and is in the process of getting divorced. Her and the soon to be ex both reside in the state of CT. She is filing for alimony until the divorce is finalized but her husband is claiming if she does she is bringing her up on adultery due to her visiting a friend in Texas. Nothing had happened between her and her friend but he believes otherwise. He has no evidence such as media or surveillance. She is worried that his plea could hold water in court and she will be taken away from her kids. Does she have anything to fear? I was in a similar situation from his standpoint but couldnt prove it, therefore nothing was factually evident in the court of law.

She is also planning on moving out of state after it, the divorce, is finalized. Is there anything he can do to prevent that, as far as taking the kids out of state?

Any help would be greatly appreciated and if further information is needed please feel free to ask!

-Concerned Friend-

My answer is similar to the one you already got.

First, he has to prove adultery. THEN, he has to show that it is in the children's interest to be taken from their mother. Generally, courts hold that adultery is not particularly relevant to child custody unless the children are involved (messing around in the home where the children live, for example).

Moving out of state without a court's permission is a bad idea. The father can file for custody on that basis and force the children to come back to CT. Her best bet is to negotiate with the father to come up with a custody/visitation plan that they can both live with and then present it to the court. There's no hard rule that says she MUST pay the transportation, but that's a common tradeoff: "I want to take the kids out of state and if you let me, I'll pay the transportation for them to visit you". If she can't reach an agreement with the father and if she still wants to take the kids out of state, she needs to show the court that it's in the children's best interest to do so. That can be a difficult thing to prove.

 

[ShizamSammich]

First off, Thank both you guys for your timely response. She has been married for 4 years, has not worked since marriage and the kids are 3 and younger. Now for more questions: What would constitute as PROOF for adultery and what would be PROOF to the courts at the betterment of the children s' being moved out of state?

 

[mistoffolees]

First off, Thank both you guys for your timely response. She has been married for 4 years, has not worked since marriage and the kids are 3 and younger. Now for more questions: What would constitute as PROOF for adultery and what would be PROOF to the courts at the betterment of the children s' being moved out of state?

Proof of adultery is difficult - photographs, witnesses, confessions, etc.

Proof that it's better for the kids to move? That one's tough - if the father fights it, it's going to be very difficult. Examples might be: inability of the parent to get a job locally; the other parent is unfit; moving closer to family who can provide assistance; moving from a crime-ridden area to a nice area; etc.

HOWEVER, there is a presumption that it is better for the child to be near both parents, so the evidence needs to be pretty strong. Also, if there's a fight, that's bound to reflect onto the kids. It's far better to get an agreement with the other parent so the kids don't get dragged through a mess. If that's not possible and the father wants to be part of the kids' life, then it's almost certainly better to stay where they are.

 

[nextwife]

Where does she wish to move the kids and why?