Agreement about division of property just before filing for a divorce

[masimo125]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

It crossed my mind that I would try to reason with my wife to come to an agreement about how to split our property before filing the paperwork providing she agrees about how to split stuff.

We have money oversees on her mother's account (imposible to document), various volatile brokerage accounts (easy to document), substantial wealth in highly volatile precious metals (very hard to document), different pension accounts, etc. The value of all this stuff is highly volatile. I have some debt and she has as I recently discovered a ton of credit card debt.

Could we write down an agreement ASAP, providing we can reach one, before filing the paperwork for divorce which will take as a but longer, and have it notarized with statement included that both of us agree to forego any further requests, and any further accumulation of debt and liquidation of assets doesn't count?

I mean, the thing is that she is racking up ridiculous amount of debt and seams like liquidating assest (like stealing that silver bullion I mentioned in other post) that I will end up paying for loosing all of my hard earned assets.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

It crossed my mind that I would try to reason with my wife to come to an agreement about how to split our property before filing the paperwork providing she agrees about how to split stuff.

We have money oversees on her mother's account (imposible to document), various volatile brokerage accounts (easy to document), substantial wealth in highly volatile precious metals (very hard to document), different pension accounts, etc. The value of all this stuff is highly volatile. I have some debt and she has as I recently discovered a ton of credit card debt.

Could we write down an agreement ASAP, providing we can reach one, before filing the paperwork for divorce which will take as a but longer, and have it notarized with statement included that both of us agree to forego any further requests, and any further accumulation of debt and liquidation of assets doesn't count?

I mean, the thing is that she is racking up ridiculous amount of debt and seams like liquidating assest (like stealing that silver bullion I mentioned in other post) that I will end up paying for loosing all of my hard earned assets.

Any agreement you write down is legally meaningless. You can have it signed in blood and notarized by the Supreme Court's law clerk and it doesn't help. Until the divorce is final, she's not bound by anything you agree to.

It MIGHT help if you go to mediation. More importantly, you might be able to get her to admit that certain assets exist - which would keep her from denying their existence - but other than that, it doesn't do much good.

 

[masimo125]

Any agreement you write down is legally meaningless. You can have it signed in blood and notarized by the Supreme Court's law clerk and it doesn't help. Until the divorce is final, she's not bound by anything you agree to.

Wow, this really shocks me. So even if I can convince my wife to file divorce paperwork together, we list all assets and debts we have at the time there, and we agree how to split them in writing right there in the official divorce paperwork we file, it's all really worth nothing?!? She could easily change her mind later and ask more of assets because in the meantime she ran a ton of new debt?!?

It MIGHT help if you go to mediation. More importantly, you might be able to get her to admit that certain assets exist - which would keep her from denying their existence - but other than that, it doesn't do much good.

Is it up to the judge who gets what or could we (ideally, in my mind) agree about who gets what and submit it with official paperwork listing I get A and she gets B, etc? I noticed there is a separate field next to assets we ought to list in the divorce paperwork we have to file, stating "who gets what". Is this really worthless? She can contest it all later or show a ton of new debt she accumulated after we submitted official divorce paperwork in court?

 

[penelope10]

Wow, this really shocks me. So even if I can convince my wife to file divorce paperwork together, we list all assets and debts we have at the time there, and we agree how to split them in writing right there in the official divorce paperwork we file, it's all really worth nothing?!? She could easily change her mind later and ask more of assets because in the meantime she ran a ton of new debt?!?


Is it up to the judge who gets what or could we (ideally, in my mind) agree about who gets what and submit it with official paperwork listing I get A and she gets B, etc? I noticed there is a separate field next to assets we ought to list in the divorce paperwork we have to file, stating "who gets what". Is this really worthless? She can contest it all later or show a ton of new debt she accumulated after we submitted official divorce paperwork in court?

I agree with Misty in regards to the fact that a notarized piece of paper really is not going to do you much good. When you both start the divorce proceedings your attorney, and her attorney also should she choose to get representation, will have you both list assets and liabilities accrued during the marriage. Then it will essentially be up to the two of you to come to an agreement in regards to an equitable and fair division. If that can't be done between the two of you, then the court will have to decide. A good attorney can be give you an idea as to what will be a reasonable expectation as to what is fair. Since it sounds like she is perhaps helping herself to assets without discussing it with you, plus building up perhaps some substantial debt, your best bet IMO is to speak with an attorney sooner than later.

 

[mistoffolees]

Wow, this really shocks me. So even if I can convince my wife to file divorce paperwork together, we list all assets and debts we have at the time there, and we agree how to split them in writing right there in the official divorce paperwork we file, it's all really worth nothing?!? She could easily change her mind later and ask more of assets because in the meantime she ran a ton of new debt?!?


Is it up to the judge who gets what or could we (ideally, in my mind) agree about who gets what and submit it with official paperwork listing I get A and she gets B, etc? I noticed there is a separate field next to assets we ought to list in the divorce paperwork we have to file, stating "who gets what". Is this really worthless? She can contest it all later or show a ton of new debt she accumulated after we submitted official divorce paperwork in court?

You can submit it to the judge and if you are in agreement (and if the division is not terribly unfair or coerced), the judge is likely to grant it.

The point is that until the final judicial decision, either party can change their mind.

IMHO, the best approach is to go forward with what you're suggesting and make it as fair as possible. Not only do you run the risk of a judge rejecting a terribly one-sided 'agreement', but the other party is more likely to back out. If the agreement is fundamentally fair, there is less reason for the other side to back out (because they're probably going to end up with 50% in the end, anyway.

So go ahead and get your agreement and present it to the judge and do your best to convince the other party that you're better off doing it amicably. Often, it will work better for you if you convince the other party to get an attorney rather than doing it on her own - as a good attorney will encourage her to accept a fair agreement rather than quibbling over all the petty details.

There is, however, one minor error in what you wrote. If you file for divorce on d-day, any debt she accumulates after that day is her problem, not marital debt.

 

[masimo125]

There is, however, one minor error in what you wrote. If you file for divorce on d-day, any debt she accumulates after that day is her problem, not marital debt.

Thank you so much! Thank you all!

I'm so impressed by the answers I'm getting here. In this phase of research this is unbelievably valuable info and I'm so happy I found this board and grateful to many knowledgeable people on it.