alimony

[seknd2no1]

New York State

I am receiving "maintenance" from my ex,we have been married 33 year and I get a substantial amount,he makes good money,my question is,if someone moves in with me,does the money stop?,and when he retires, I get half his pension and does it affect that?
thank you

 

[tigger22472]

New York State

I am receiving "maintenance" from my ex,we have been married 33 year and I get a substantial amount,he makes good money,my question is,if someone moves in with me,does the money stop?,and when he retires, I get half his pension and does it affect that?
thank you

It would not affect the pension unless there is an unusual provision in the decree. As far as the other that would depend on A. again if there is a provision and B. the nature of the person moving in with you. If it's someone for a 'roommate' then no. If it's a significant other with a romantic relationship without a provision it won't affect it. However, that does not stop your ex from filing for a modification and likely getting it. What sort of maintenance are you getting? Is there a time limit on the maintenance or is it considered permanent?

 

[seknd2no1]

I was awarded the alimony becasue of our income differences,I couldn't support myself on my income,and the judge awarded me monthy until he retires and his pension kicks in.He could retire in July of this year,but I don't think he will,only getting half I don't think he can live on what he will get. The person I am considering is of the oppsite sex, a friend,but he will think otherwise,Thank you for your reply

 

[i2mscrewed]

I was awarded the alimony becasue of our income differences,I couldn't support myself on my income,and the judge awarded me monthy until he retires and his pension kicks in.He could retire in July of this year,but I don't think he will,only getting half I don't think he can live on what he will get. The person I am considering is of the oppsite sex, a friend,but he will think otherwise,Thank you for your reply

Like tigger22742 inquired...is there a provision? And, is your "friend" going to "kick in" for some of the bills? Or, are you going to be supporting your "friend"? Or, are you helping a friend just until he gets "on his feet"? A contract between you and your "friend" outlining some kind of nominal "rent" and his cancelled checks as proof of paying this, might help keep your ex and the court from drastically lowering your alimony and it immediately takes away the notion that this may be anything more than "friendship".

If you are on amicable communication terms with your ex, you might consider calling him to inquire about and express your concern regarding the approaching retirement in July, especially if it will impact what you've allotted for personal expenditures and "extras" in your budget. That way you will be able to efficiently plan for your future as well. Your ex will hopefully understand the fairness and necessity of this request, unless he is a jerk and/or an imbecile.

I am just offering some suggestions that may or may not be helpful and should not be misconstrued as legal advice as I am not an attorney. I am merely trying to be helpful.

 

[Bali Hai]

I was awarded the alimony becasue of our income differences,I couldn't support myself on my income,and the judge awarded me monthy until he retires and his pension kicks in.He could retire in July of this year,but I don't think he will,only getting half I don't think he can live on what he will get. The person I am considering is of the oppsite sex, a friend,but he will think otherwise,Thank you for your reply

Perfect.

Then he should retire from his present job in July, you get half his pension, he gets another job where you can't get your claws on his income from that job and YOU should do the same thing.

 

[i2mscrewed]

Perfect.

Then he should retire from his present job in July, you get half his pension, he gets another job where you can't get your claws on his income from that job and YOU should do the same thing.

Very clever indeed, Bali Hai! You never cease to amaze me. Kind of sh-tty, but absolutely clever, nonetheless...

 

[seknd2no1]

I doubt he will retire,I hope he does ,maybe he will move out of town,or better yet out of the state. I called my divorce attorney and she said there is no provision in there stating that I can not live with someone,,she also does not advise I do so,even if it is a friend,he will turn it around and make trouble regardless of the "situation".we have been dealing with him and his "slimball" attorney for 2 yrs now,,.and no I can not call him,he is an imbecile,you must know him...?

Also,in answer to your other question,I would be just letting him stay until he finds a place,yes,,and I am sure he plans on kicking in for the bills,but I can not show this or it will lower things,,so I guess the answer would be no,unless I speak directly to the court..or make sure he doesn't find out...

 

[i2mscrewed]

I doubt he will retire,I hope he does ,maybe he will move out of town,or better yet out of the state. I called my divorce attorney and she said there is no provision in there stating that I can not live with someone,,she also does not advise I do so,even if it is a friend,he will turn it around and make trouble regardless of the "situation".we have been dealing with him and his "slimball" attorney for 2 yrs now,,.and no I can not call him,he is an imbecil,you must know him...?

No...but maybe my STBX husband is related...he is an imbecile too.

 

[Bali Hai]

No...but maybe my STBX husband is related...he is an imbecile too.[/QUOTE]

So much an imbecile that you wouldn't even take his money???

 

[i2mscrewed]

Also,in answer to your other question,I would be just letting him stay until he finds a place,yes,,and I am sure he plans on kicking in for the bills,but I can not show this or it will lower things,,so I guess the answer would be no,unless I speak directly to the court..or make sure he doesn't find out...

Well, like I said, just in case you go ahead with this, make a contract between the two of you for a nominal rent...keep cancelled checks proving it was paid, then if you get caught, you can show the court that it was a paying roommate and if the judge considers lowering your alimony...show the court: the contract and the little bit of money you received (the cancelled checks and make the rent small) and explain that the cost of living has gone up, so instead of filing a motion to raise your alimony...you took in a roommate to make up the difference.

 

[i2mscrewed]

So much an imbecile that you wouldn't even take his money???

What makes you think it is his money?

 

[Bali Hai]

Well, like I said, just in case you go ahead with this, make a contract between the two of you for a nominal rent...keep cancelled checks proving it was paid, then if you get caught, you can show the court that it was a paying roommate and if the judge considers lowering your alimony...show the court: the contract and the little bit of money you received (the cancelled checks and make the rent small) and explain that the cost of living has gone up, so instead of filing a motion to raise your alimony...you took in a roommate to make up the difference.

This "clever" crap is exactly why the alimony laws were amended recently in Florida.

The courts are not stupid, give them a little more credit than that.

 

[i2mscrewed]

The courts are not stupid, give them a little more credit than that.

I never meant to imply that the courts are stupid...au contrare, mon ami, the truth in the matter is that the cost of living does go up...and at least she would be getting her "friend" to help with the bills, not just freeload, and at the same time the amount she decides on should account for the rise in her cost of living. If you think about it...everyone wins:
Ex doesn't get taken to court for more alimony due to the rise in her cost of living.
Her friend respectably pays some rent and his own personal expenditures/bills and knows from the beginning that it is not a free ride and it keeps the friendship honest while getting back on his feet.
She does not place herself in the vulnerable position of losing all her alimony much less possibly getting conned by or stuck in a situation with a roommate
that ends up draining her livelyhood.

Should the court request an accounting of this friendship, she will be able to show it. The nominal amount is because she is also helping a friend get back on his feet, as long as he can also show that he is paying for his own food and expenses, so she isn't using alimony to support him. And she can use the little extra money for...guess what? THE RISE IN HER COST OF LIVING.

 

[Bali Hai]

I never meant to imply that the courts are stupid...au contrare, mon ami, the truth in the matter is that the cost of living does go up...and at least she would be getting her "friend" to help with the bills, not just freeload, and at the same time the amount she decides on should account for the rise in her cost of living. If you think about it...everyone wins:
Ex doesn't get taken to court for more alimony due to the rise in her cost of living.

HER rise in cost of living will be taken care of by her JOB.

Her friend respectably pays some rent and his own personal expenditures/bills and knows from the beginning that it is not a free ride and it keeps the friendship honest while getting back on his feet.

I hope she does that and trys to convince the court that she is the LANDLORD.

She does not place herself in the vulnerable position of losing all her alimony much less possibly getting conned by or stuck in a situation with a roommate that ends up draining her livelyhood.

Why not? She did that very thing to her ex.

Should the court request an accounting of this friendship, she will be able to show it. The nominal amountis because she is also helping a friend get back on his feet, as long as he can also show that he is paying for his own food and expenses, so she isn't using alimony to support him.

The LANDLORD is getting screwed out of the "nominal amount".

If she can afford to "help" someone else, she doesn't need alimony.

And she can use the little extra money for...guess what? THE RISE IN HER COST OF LIVING.

You women outsmart yourselves.

 

[i2mscrewed]

Calm down, and take a deep breath; count to 10...I feel that if you were in the same room with me, that you would be yelling at me. Geeeeez.

We don't know if she got the house with the mtg. all paid off, in the settlement. Assuming she did...it is her house to have whatever friend stay with her, especially if only for a short time, to HELP that person get on his feet as long as he is paying for his expenditures, his bills and paying her some rent. If she is not having to support him with any part of her alimony and she has the extra room in HER house, why not? If need be, the court can adjust the alimony lower by the same amount that she receives from the roommate. And you would think the ex would hope it turns into a love interest to snake out from under his responsibilities from a 33 year marriage. Now, I personally don't advocate taking in a "roommate", but I not going to pass judgement on what someone else wants to risk:

Why not? She did that very thing to her ex.

I can only offer some suggestions in which might help protect herself and her financial livelyhood. I don't know, Bali Hai, maybe she should just let him move in, not charge him anything, have nothing that legitimizes it, and get
f--ked out of her part that she earned from 33 years of marriage. Isn't that what you're advocating? I am not an attorney nor is any of this legal advice, I am merely trying to help.