Alimony from a 33 year marriage

[Picker126]

The divorce was final in 2003 in Washington. The 33 year marriage took place in CA.

Facts: Ex-husband went to WA and divorced me from there.
I had no money to hire a lawyer as he did.
When I returned the papers, I explained all of this and it didn't help.
I was suckered in to being told I could call at a certain time and talk to the judge before he signed the final papers. Guess What! The phone was busy . I was divorced without any representation whatever.

The papers say I didn't receive any alimony. I have been trying to find someone to help me in WA for free but no luck.

He makes about $100,000 a year. I made about $15,000 last year and am raising my nephew who came to us 13 years ago. I do not have legal custody of the child but my ex supported him completely until he left. Now I am supporting him. I have to file for bankruptcy; I cannot rent an apartment in my name; I cannot get utilities; I basically have nothing. I have no medical insurance either.

I am also 55 years old.

What can I do to try and get something from him? He made this amount of money for many years while I took care of the kids. I am also a student, but am having a problem finding a decent job. I am thinking some of them have been due to my age.

Please help me figure out something!

Thank you so much.What is the name of your state?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Picker126

The divorce was final in 2003 in Washington. The 33 year marriage took place in CA.

Facts: Ex-husband went to WA and divorced me from there.
I had no money to hire a lawyer as he did.
When I returned the papers, I explained all of this and it didn't help.
I was suckered in to being told I could call at a certain time and talk to the judge before he signed the final papers. Guess What! The phone was busy . I was divorced without any representation whatever.

The papers say I didn't receive any alimony. I have been trying to find someone to help me in WA for free but no luck.

He makes about $100,000 a year. I made about $15,000 last year and am raising my nephew who came to us 13 years ago. I do not have legal custody of the child but my ex supported him completely until he left. Now I am supporting him. I have to file for bankruptcy; I cannot rent an apartment in my name; I cannot get utilities; I basically have nothing. I have no medical insurance either.

I am also 55 years old.

What can I do to try and get something from him? He made this amount of money for many years while I took care of the kids. I am also a student, but am having a problem finding a decent job. I am thinking some of them have been due to my age.

Please help me figure out something!

Thank you so much.What is the name of your state?

Life for you was good. Now it's bad. Think about it.

[Picker126]

Life was good because I was married to someone with money?

I don't think so!! However, I was married to someone who took advantage of the fact that I was a stay-at-home mom because my children deserved that. I had them after all!

Now he deserves it all and I deserve nothing? I only care about my kid that I am still raising - the one he raised as if he was his own and then walked out on. Should he not have a home? Food, clothing?

Explain your answer! Or do you just assume I deserved what I got!!

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Picker126

Life was good because I was married to someone with money?

I don't think so!! However, I was married to someone who took advantage of the fact that I was a stay-at-home mom because my children deserved that. I had them after all!

Now he deserves it all and I deserve nothing? I only care about my kid that I am still raising - the one he raised as if he was his own and then walked out on. Should he not have a home? Food, clothing?

Explain your answer! Or do you just assume I deserved what I got!!

You may be 55 but you can still work. You can still do things. You need to basically pull yourself up by your bootstraps and see what is out there. Apply for foodstamps, medicaid and whatever else as a SHORT-TERM MEASURE. The divorce is over. There is nothing you can do about that. And it was done three years ago. It is time to move past it and go on.

[stealth2]

You should also do something to (a) legalize the situation with your nephew/son and (b) file for child support from that child's parent(s).

[VeronicaGia]

Originally Posted by Picker126

Life was good because I was married to someone with money?

I don't think so!! However, I was married to someone who took advantage of the fact that I was a stay-at-home mom because my children deserved that. I had them after all!

Now he deserves it all and I deserve nothing? I only care about my kid that I am still raising - the one he raised as if he was his own and then walked out on. Should he not have a home? Food, clothing?

Explain your answer! Or do you just assume I deserved what I got!!

You have no court ordered legal custody of your nephew. Even if you did, he is your nephew not your ex-husbands. Why should he pay for a child that is not his that he has no legal obligation to take care of? He is not the legal father, nor is he the legal guardian....he has no legal obligation to help.

So while you were "taken advantage of" as a stay at home mom, did you have a home? Food? Clothes? Cars? Or did he put you in a box in the yard naked and starving? You act like he did nothing for you or for your family, when he in fact has supported your every need for years. It's time to start taking care of yourself and stop expecting someone else to take care of you.

[weenor]

Your issues of property distribution and alimony should have been addressed during the divorce three years ago. Quite frankly, they were when you signed the documents and gave up your right to contest what your ex got...It too late now to go back and undo the order.

[nextwife]

You legally "sat on your hands" during the divorce process. You may have been a SAHM, but that is not a reason to declare you werementally i8ncapable of either retaining counsel or standing up for yourself to obtain those marital assets you might have been legally entitled to.

Look, I'm 51, and I have an 8 year old daughter. I bring in a FULL time income. Hubby and father of my child is 59.

The FACT is that your ex has NO legal rights regqarding this child. Legally, at this point, neither do you. The child is 13 - they do NOT need you to be home full time. File for support from the bioparents - it is THEIR responsibility to support their child, not your ex's.

I'm on a web-support list with other "geezer" parents, our age and older, many of whom are single, who are raising either their own biokiddos, their adopted kids, or their foster kids. LOTS of 50+ parents, and ever 60+ are out there raising young kids by themselves.