alimony

[Mina]

What is the name of your state?
Ohio
#1) I wanted to know if we've lived apart 3-4 years if that's considered "separated" even if we haven't filed to be separated.
#2) I'd like to know How alimony is determined in Ohio after 7 years of marriage. What factors may influence this/if it's based strictly on numbers...we are going to be divorced.

He was an alcoholic, became emotionally abusive & neglegent,has been dating other women tho still married. He left home because the upset it caused the children. He is currently helping out financially. I want to be more indepedent. I can't support myself/kids alone at this time; would like to go back to school. I am the only capable parent/ the child is not his.
I have no family to help. I'm frightened.
#3) What are his responsibilities?

ThanksWhat is the name of your state?

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Mina

What is the name of your state?
Ohio
#1) I wanted to know if we've lived apart 3-4 years if that's considered "separated" even if we haven't filed to be separated.
#2) I'd like to know How alimony is determined in Ohio after 7 years of marriage. What factors may influence this/if it's based strictly on numbers...we are going to be divorced.

He was an alcoholic, became emotionally abusive & neglegent,has been dating other women tho still married. He left home because the upset it caused the children. He is currently helping out financially. I want to be more indepedent. I can't support myself/kids alone at this time; would like to go back to school. I am the only capable parent/ the child is not his.
I have no family to help. I'm frightened.
#3) What are his responsibilities?

ThanksWhat is the name of your state?

Yours is a short term marriage. You say you were actually together LESS than five years? If so, alimony is VERY unlikely. It's alos unlikely from a seven year marriage, unless there are extenuating circumstances, such as you put him through school. Was there a significant income difference during the marriage?

Also, the cost of supporting your child with another man is that of you and the childs legal dad ONLY. Your need for help to support a child not his, is NOT your STBX reponsibility.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Mina

What is the name of your state?
Ohio
#1) I wanted to know if we've lived apart 3-4 years if that's considered "separated" even if we haven't filed to be separated.

It can be used for separated as a ground for getting the divorce but it is NOT legally separated. And hence you cannot file legitimate paperwork as legally separated. If you do that would be a lie. And you are only considered legally separated for that amount of time if you have not had a booty call with him or something of that nature. Not living together but getting together for a last fling does not make separation.

#2) I'd like to know How alimony is determined in Ohio after 7 years of marriage. What factors may influence this/if it's based strictly on numbers...we are going to be divorced.

There is not a formula for alimony as there is for child support. The court can take into consideration several factors. HOWEVER as nextwife said you have a short term marriage. You may qualify for SHORT TERM or TEMPORARY spousal support depending on various factors (work history, education level, his income compared to yours, and if you are keeping the marital home or moving and the expenses associated). Do not count on living on alimony/spousal support for ANY length of time however. If you did get it may be nothing more than $100 a month.

He was an alcoholic, became emotionally abusive & neglegent,has been dating other women tho still married.

When did he become an alcoholic? Emotionally abusive -- prove it. Negligent? What the heck are you talking about. Negligence is NOT a reason for divorce. And it doesn't even make sense. Dating other women huh? Can you prove that? Again those don't qualify you as receiving spousal support.

He left home because the upset it caused the children.

Whose children? Yours? His? Both? If the children are also his then he could be paying child support. COULD.

He is currently helping out financially. I want to be more indepedent. I can't support myself/kids alone at this time; would like to go back to school.

Then get a job, and start back to school. You have to make hard decisions but that doesn't mean he will be paying for it.
I am the only capable parent/ the child is not his.

Well then he will NOT be paying child support. Your child has a father. And he should be supporting his child. And how many children do you have? You say KIDS and then child.

I have no family to help. I'm frightened.

That is not his responsibility nor will the judge make him pay for that.

#3) What are his responsibilities?

ThanksWhat is the name of your state?

He has none at this point. While married he has a duty to support his wife per law however that does not mean you will get spousal support. And since the child or children (however many you have) are not his he will not be paying child support. You need to look into getting employment.

[LdiJ]

If you are not receiving any welfare or state aid, look into it. There are all kinds of opportunities out there for you to get help while going to school.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

If you are not receiving any welfare or state aid, look into it. There are all kinds of opportunities out there for you to get help while going to school.

Or she could work and go to school part time. My sister went back to school and supported herself while getting her degree - no hubby, boyfriend or taxpayers supported her while she got her degree. My dad finished his education while supporting a family and working full time - didn't ask the taxpayers to do so.
My brother did the same.- finsihed college while supporting a household AND working two jobs.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by nextwife

Or she could work and go to school part time. My sister went back to school and supported herself while getting her degree - no hubby, boyfriend or taxpayers supported her while she got her degree. My dad finished his education while supporting a family and working full time - didn't ask the taxpayers to do so.
My brother did the same.- finsihed college while supporting a household AND working two jobs.

If I remember correctly, your sister didn't have young child(ren) at home. If your brother was able to do that...more power to him...but I suspect that he had a wife taking care of the "home front" while he did that.

If she can get help while going to school, there is absolutely NO shame in doing so.

A cousin of mine went to school full time while getting welfare, housing assistance, daycare assistance, grants etc. and is now making a serious salary and is paying serious taxes.