Annulment after 12 years being divorced

[anitasues]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mass

I have been legally divorced for 12 years now and now my ex husband wants a Catholic annulment--has too much time past to get one? Would your answers be different than a Catholic priests?? I had an emotional affair,(7 yr into the marriage) would that be a case to have an annulment granted?? thank youWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mass

I have been legally divorced for 12 years now and now my ex husband wants a Catholic annulment--has too much time past to get one? Would your answers be different than a Catholic priests?? I had an emotional affair,(7 yr into the marriage) would that be a case to have an annulment granted?? thank youWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Yours is NOT a legal question. Consult with clergy.

 

[xylene]

This sounds like your Catholic ex attempting to harass you 12 YEARS after a civil divorce.

He'll just have to go to get remarried outside of church and go to double hockey sticks like ever other remarried divorced catholic person

Tell your ex to leave you alone with his self righteous harassment.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mass

I have been legally divorced for 12 years now and now my ex husband wants a Catholic annulment--has too much time past to get one? Would your answers be different than a Catholic priests?? I had an emotional affair,(7 yr into the marriage) would that be a case to have an annulment granted?? thank youWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

As Zig told you, this is not a legal question.

Having been through this.....

Your ex can get an annulment without your permission. He will apply to the church to get an annulment and try to convince them to grant it. In my experience, they will grant an annulment for any reason - or for no reason. Sure, he will have to claim that you are at fault, but who cares?

Unless you also want one for religious reasons, just ignore it - it won't involve you at all.

 

[Zigner]

Upon proper payment, I'm sure they will grant the annulment

 

[mistoffolees]

Upon proper payment, I'm sure they will grant the annulment

Pretty much.

 

[FlyingRon]

The basis for annulment are different in the Catholic church than for divorce. To annul means to set it as it doesn't happen (there's no way to "end" a marriage in the church, only to invalidate that it ever took place legitimately).
This means that there was some basic tenant of intention that didn't occur at the time of marriage:

1. Freely and fully agree to be married..
2. Maturity to understand the implications of what the meaning of matriomon is
3. Intent to perpetually honor the commitments of marriage: faithfulness, etc.
4. Intent to be open to children

You must show that one or more of these intents didn't exist at the time of marriage (as opposed to intending to be faithful but falling subsequently into a life of unfaithful sin).

It's by and large a paperwork shuffle if you can make a good story as to why one wasn't present in the marriage. Not really a whole lot of money involved though you do get a real pretty document.

To reiterate, neither the reasons for your divorce nor how long you've lived "outside" of marriage have any basis for the annulment.

 

[Zigner]

Not really a whole lot of money involved...

THAT depends on the local policy, as well as the -ahem- difficulty in evaluating the circumstances.

 

[mistoffolees]

The basis for annulment are different in the Catholic church than for divorce. To annul means to set it as it doesn't happen (there's no way to "end" a marriage in the church, only to invalidate that it ever took place legitimately).
This means that there was some basic tenant of intention that didn't occur at the time of marriage:

1. Freely and fully agree to be married..
2. Maturity to understand the implications of what the meaning of matriomon is
3. Intent to perpetually honor the commitments of marriage: faithfulness, etc.
4. Intent to be open to children

You must show that one or more of these intents didn't exist at the time of marriage (as opposed to intending to be faithful but falling subsequently into a life of unfaithful sin).

It's by and large a paperwork shuffle if you can make a good story as to why one wasn't present in the marriage. Not really a whole lot of money involved though you do get a real pretty document.

To reiterate, neither the reasons for your divorce nor how long you've lived "outside" of marriage have any basis for the annulment.

Sorry, but you're wrong. I've dealt with this.

The Catholic church refuses to acknowledge divorce. At the same time, they realize that they can't force incompatible people to stay married. Also, they don't want to prevent remarriage for people who are separated.

In the real world, the Catholic Church will grant an annulment for just about anyone who asks for one.

 

[Rushia]

Sorry, but you're wrong. I've dealt with this.

The Catholic church refuses to acknowledge divorce. At the same time, they realize that they can't force incompatible people to stay married. Also, they don't want to prevent remarriage for people who are separated.

In the real world, the Catholic Church will grant an annulment for just about anyone who asks for one.

Yup. All I had to do was fill out the petition, pay 50 bucks and 2 months later it was done. The reason that was used was that my ex and I had both been Baptized in the Church, but had not completed the other Sacraments but we still should have known better getting married by the JP. LOL, obviously not verbatim but that was the gist of it.

 

[justalayman]

In the real world, the Catholic Church will grant an annulment for just about anyone who asks for one.

You are obviously in a different diocese than I. An annulment must have a justification to be allowed in my diocese. While it is not as difficult to obtain one as it was decades ago, there are still rules that are followed.

The Catholic church refuses to acknowledge divorce.

Not according to the Vatican.

At the same time, they realize that they can't force incompatible people to stay married.

they can refuse to annul the marriage. If the parties continue into an adulterous relationship outside of their marriage, it is their decision.


Here is the Vatican's statements on divorce:

2382 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble.174 He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.175

Between the baptized, "a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death."176

2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.177

If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.

2384 Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:

If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another's husband to herself.178

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.

 

[justalayman]

Yup. All I had to do was fill out the petition, pay 50 bucks and 2 months later it was done. The reason that was used was that my ex and I had both been Baptized in the Church, but had not completed the other Sacraments but we still should have known better getting married by the JP. LOL, obviously not verbatim but that was the gist of it.

If you were a married by the JP (Justice of the Peace I presume), your marriage was never acknowledged by the Church as a sacrament and as such, there was no need to annul the marriage. The only marriages acknowledged by the Church are those performed by a leader of the Church and given in the intent of it being fulfillment of the Sacrament of Marriage.

at least that is how it is viewed in my diocese.

If you lived with a person, even if within a civil marriage without it being recognized as fulfillment of the Sacrament, you were simply living as fornicators.

 

[Bali Hai]

Sorry, but you're wrong. I've dealt with this.

The Catholic church refuses to acknowledge divorce. At the same time, they realize that they can't force incompatible people to stay married. Also, they don't want to prevent remarriage for people who are separated.

In the real world, the Catholic Church will grant an annulment for just about anyone who asks for one.

And this is why Catholic judges believe the man has all the responsibility to provide for the wife and hammers the man with alimony in a civil divorce.

 

[FlyingRon]

If you were a married by the JP

Correct, a secular marriage didn't happen as far as the church was concerned. They do recognize marriages in other denominations if one of the parties was a catholic at the tie or if they subsequently convert.

I never said the Catholic church acknowledges divorce (at least as a way of ending marriage). I said explicitly the opposite.

While annulment may be a formality, nothing I said is incorrect. The church will not view current incompatibility or faithfulness as a reason for the nullification. You have to couch your request in terms of the reasons given. It may be contrived for your situation but it's up to the church bureaucracy to believe you or not. Most of the "we were young and didn't understand the full commitement" or "we were coerced by our parents and it wasn't truly independent decision" is often used.

 

[mistoffolees]

While annulment may be a formality, nothing I said is incorrect. The church will not view current incompatibility or faithfulness as a reason for the nullification. You have to couch your request in terms of the reasons given. It may be contrived for your situation but it's up to the church bureaucracy to believe you or not. Most of the "we were young and didn't understand the full commitement" or "we were coerced by our parents and it wasn't truly independent decision" is often used.

Yes, but my entire point is that the Church says LOTS of things and then does things differently.

While they claim that you need one of the 4 reasons to get an annulment, ANYONE can twist the facts in such a way to get an annulment without difficulty.

I've lived in 9 different diocese and don't know of a single case where someone applied for an annulment and had it refused. Do you?