<<<<You do not qualify. Period. If it's a principle issue and the marriage is so important, then why dont you seek counseling? Not valid enough to not have worked out? WRONG! It is very valid. You are MARRIED. You have been given the advice that you needed. Sorry that you do not like it. That is how it is. You can always consult an attorney if it's worth it to you,however you will be wasting time. It has been 2 years since you were married. You should have done something sooner if you indeed felt you were "frauded". >>>>
Wow someone wasted no amount of time posturing who the forum flamer is. Ironic your name should be "Howamidoing". The anwser? Ignorant. I sincerely hope someone who doesn't ask questions, rather jumps right to biased conclusions is *not* a lawyer. That's a scary thought, considering people come here for help, not judgement. It's like Thumpers dad told him: "If you can't say anything nice...."
I am not seeking advice on annulment vs divorce. Obviously divorce is my only option if I don't *qualify* for an annulment, as previously stated. I came to ask if it is *possible* for this to end in an annulment. The "principle" I discussed was about how the marriage ends based on why it began to begin with, I said nothing of the principle revolving around the importance of the marriage as it really stands...so where you pulled that from is beyond me. The principle is that I didn't fail, but rather that I was lied to before getting married. Which means the marriage was based on a lie. That means I do not want to be married, plain and simple.
Yet in the same statement you tell me I'm wrong to say it isn't valid enough to have not worked out. I'm an adult, and I think I am aware of what I consider a valid choice in my life thank you. Being lied to as a condition for me to sign my name on a legal document is not one of them. So please spare me the high and mighty attitude. No amount of counseling will change what has happened and the fact that the trust is gone. Add to that, I have not been given the advice I needed, and you have no clue whatsoever what I like. But here's a hint: not
you.
If "that's how it is" on this forum, thank you for letting me know ahead of time so I don't muddy my eyes on any more erroneous advice. I have planned to consult an attorney on the matter. However, I wanted to pick apart the facts and get some input first so I know what to tell him or her when the meeting takes place. So really the only waste of time is prooving to be the lack of information I'm getting from someone who doesn't know my situation in detail or what they're talking about. Especially since you say it's been two years, and that won't be true until the end of august. It's the beginning of June, mmm K?
It seems to me that my decision to end the marriage, my separation, and plans to consult an attorney and comming here before hand is "doing something", but hey what do I know. Be careful, you might actually be giving me viable facts by suggesting 2 years is too late...perhaps an anwser to my question about a statute of limitations? Oh no, not that! That would be cooperating! Helpful even!
<<<<Oh good grief..... Google it!>>>>
Good grief indeed, I'll repeat myself yet again. I believe I mentioned that I already did some research on criteria and came up with very vauge anwsers. The information is vauge not because I don't qualify, but because it did not list enough detail for me to know if I qualify. That research was done (big shocker) on Google. I find the grounds in California to be ambiguously stated as far as what constitutes fraud. This is what I've found (cut and pasted from several sites) thus far:
An annulment (or "nullity of marriage" or "nullity of domestic partnership") is when a court says your marriage or domestic partnership is NOT legally valid. A marriage or domestic partnership that is incestuous or bigamous is never valid. Other marriages and partnerships can be declared "void" because:
of force, fraud, or physical or mental incapacity;
one of the spouses or partners was too young to legally marry or enter into a domestic partnership; or
one of the spouses or partners was already married or in a registered domestic partnership.
Annulments are very rare. If you ask to have your marriage or domestic partnership annulled, you will have to go to hearing with a judge.
Grounds for annulment vary slightly from state to state. Generally, they may be obtained for one of the following reasons:
*Misrepresentation or fraud -- for example, a spouse lied about the capacity to have children, stated that she had reached the age of consent, or failed to say that she was still married to someone else.
*Concealment -- for example, concealing an addiction to alcohol or drugs, conviction of a felony, children from a prior relationship, a sexually transmitted disease, or impotency.
*Refusal or inability to consummate the marriage -- that is, refusal or inability of a spouse to have sexual intercourse with the other spouse.
*Misunderstanding -- for example, one person wanted children and the other did not.
Fraud sufficent to warrant an annulmnet must go to the very essence of the marital relationship. I am not aware of a case that addresses sexual prefrence as a basis of fruad but other case support fraud relating to issues of intimacy (ie false promise to stoip a relationship with a former lover, concealing an existing pregnancy, concelaing sterility have all supported annulmnets in other published cases. The statute requires an to bring an action for fraud that the defrauded party cannot with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud freely cohabitate as husband and wife. Family Code, Section 2210(d). The time limit to bring the action is 4 years after the discovery of the facts constituting the fraud. Family Code, Section 2211(d)
Now from what I gather of this information, I qualify. But I wasn't 100% positive. I just wanted to make sure, by asking people whom I thought would know more details. Maybe people who would ask questions to make sure they don't give false advice. My husband has a criminal past and bankruptcy that I was not aware of either. The infidelity didn't take place after the marriage but before. I just found out after the marriage. That is why it was based on a lie. It wasn't just going out and cheating either. It happened while I was asleep in the next room, and on many occasions. So I don't think anyone in thier right mind would marry someone who does that to them if they knew about it beforehand. To me, that's fraud.
My last post was to inquire who exactly does qualify for an annulment. It wasn't to solicit rude responses and preachy admonishments from someone who doesn't know me or my situation, and certainly not the extent of the infidelity and other lies that ended my marriage. Still there is no anwser to that question of "who DOES qualify?" Your assuming "You don't qualify, period" is beyond rude, it's childish. Way to make friends!
The more you tell me I don't qualify, the more confident I am that I do. Thank you for that reassurance! Despite your assurance and condescension I’m sure if I give a more detailed analysis of the events to other forums they will offer much more support. Howamidoing, now that you've beat your chest to display your dominance; maybe you should consider what little evidence you have to be so arrogant. I'm surprised you aren't adding an ::::eye roll:::: to convey how extremely annoying it is that I'm asking polite questions just to aid myself in an already devastating process. But I guess compassion and maturity is too much to expect. Good day.
