Home     Law Advice     Insurance Advice     Community    
Go Back   FreeAdvice Legal Forum > FAMILY LAW > Divorce, Separation & Annulment
Reload this Page Is an annulment possible?

Powered by Attorney Pages


  Find An Attorney In Your Area    
 

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-21-2008, 12:25 AM
Junior Member
  
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4

Is an annulment possible?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

I am trying to decide whether i should divorce my husband, or is an annulment possible?
The marriage is a Hindu marriage in India but we live in Illinois. I have the following reasons for seeking a divorce - some possibly do not qualify as "legal grounds for divorce":

1. unconsummated marriage after 10 months of marriage.

2. erectile dysfunction (which he blamed me for, saying it was due to relationship stress, but i now know he had been getting off to porn 3 times a day).

3. he is a porn addict - he watches stuff like "scat sex", "puking sex", "slutty schoolgirls torn denim shorts".

4. i had asked him before marriage if he was into porn and fetishes, and he said he was into neither. i told him then i had zero tolerance for porn. Now I know he lied on both counts.

5. after i found he lied about porn, i investigated (checked his emails, etc.), and found out he had lied about a lot of things. he denies, minimizes, marginalizes, invalidates everything that puts him in a spot. he refuses to acknowledge responsibility unless caught red-handed, and even then tries to escape by deflecting the blame on me or some other such tactic.

6. he is joined at the hip with his parents - he is not emotionally weaned from them. he had to ask permission from them to date me, and again he asked them permission to marry me.

7. he earns more than 3 times what i do ( i just get a stipend, don't really have a job yet), but expects me to pay my share at HIS standard of living. after marriage i moved into his place and he had a more expensive place, a car, etc. it was not possible for me to pay what he demanded, and i found it strange that he would even want me to.

8. he does no share his money with me - his parents asked him not to, so that he can still get money from him, as they have before he was married. his parents are well off and don't need his money - they are simply greedy for more.

9. he lied about past romantic interests - he said they were pursuing him, whereas i found out actually he pursued them. i feel he was rejected by them, and he also has a bossy mother, which makes him a misogynist and he takes out his anger and bitterness towards women on me.

10. there is no emotional connection - he is always dazed, distant, with a tuned-out expression in his eyes. he does not respond when i talk of a problem, and does not encourage me in my interests and ambitions.
  #2  
Old 10-21-2008, 05:51 AM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 41,458
You may qualify for an annulment (I don't know for sure one way or another) but just so that you are aware, its much quicker and easier, and less expensive, to get a divorce.
__________________
in vino veritas
  #3  
Old 10-21-2008, 07:31 AM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rat Race of New Jersey
Posts: 1,198
Be really careful about accessing his Email accounts. That can be held against you if he did not provide you with his Email passwords. It's really too bad you didn't pay attention to his emotional attachment to his parents prior to the marriage, or discuss what he expected from a spouse financially. Difficult to believe that all of this manifested after the marriage, including his dazed expression. There's no need to exaggerate your circumstances to obtain replies in this forum.
__________________
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition!
  #4  
Old 10-21-2008, 10:00 AM
Junior Member
  
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4
I am not exaggerating circumstances.

I might have been blind to his faults earlier, but as the counselor I go to for getting over the shock of discovering says, love is a kind of temporary psychosis. I believed, and he lied. My fault was believing blindly without seeking proof. I did not sleep with him before marriage to know his impotence.

I know this might sound like a rant on yahoo answers rather than something which would count as seeking legal advice, so i said that at the beginning of my post.

I believed that the dazed expression was part of his personality and I would have to accept him like that, even though it frustrated me. Now I know it was because of "porn fog".

Does an annulment have to be filed within a year of marriage? I would like to have it wiped completely off my record, unlike a divorce which will stay forever on my record.
  #5  
Old 10-21-2008, 10:09 AM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,823
You may have been blind but that doens't mean he committed fraud. And "porn fog"?
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #6  
Old 10-21-2008, 10:48 AM
Junior Member
  
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4
"porn fog" is a term used in sex addiction - it is the clouded/foggy mindset of one who lives in the fantasy world of pornography.
  #7  
Old 10-21-2008, 11:41 AM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
Posts: 3,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife View Post
"porn fog" is a term used in sex addiction - it is the clouded/foggy mindset of one who lives in the fantasy world of pornography.
Uh-huh. Then why, when I googled the term (expecting to see some reference to the term in medical diagnosis) were there only 2 references that came up? One in your thread and the other in a blog posted by a girlfriend mad that her boyfriend likes porn?


That's neither here nor there. The only thing I see for annulment is the failure to consumate the marriage, but even so, a divorce is easier. It's not like we are living in 1850 and a divorce is so scandalous that you will have to wear a black veil and hang your head in shame or live in a rambling home with 82 cats for life.
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #8  
Old 10-21-2008, 01:23 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife View Post
"porn fog" is a term used in sex addiction - it is the clouded/foggy mindset of one who lives in the fantasy world of pornography.
A term used by who? It doesn't seem to be an acceptable diagnosis.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #9  
Old 10-21-2008, 01:46 PM
Junior Member
  
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4
this site is useless.
are there really knowledgeable people giving free advice as this site claims to, or just judgemental people giving sarcastic opinions?
  #10  
Old 10-21-2008, 01:50 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,775
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife View Post
this site is useless.
To everyone who doesn't hear what they want to hear, sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife
are there really knowledgeable people giving free advice as this site claims to, or just judgemental people giving sarcastic opinions?
Yes. And you have received it.

Perhaps some are in a Porn Fog.
__________________
"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." (Ford)
  #11  
Old 10-21-2008, 02:05 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,587
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife View Post
this site is useless.
are there really knowledgeable people giving free advice as this site claims to, or just judgemental people giving sarcastic opinions?
where was anyone giving you a sarcastic answer?

the fact is, a divorce is much simpler. and cheaper. and way quicker. how much longer are you willing to commit to some pervert just to get an annulment? 1 year? 2 years? it's your choice.

does it suck that you only found this out now? yes. i sympathize with you. but you cannot use terms like "porn fog" in a court case. there's not real medical or legal definition. i'm in a pregnancy fog for all of my pregnancies. i know what i am referring it to, but there is no medical or legal definition. it's just an everyday term in my own private vocabulary. no sarcasm.
  #12  
Old 10-21-2008, 02:44 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryWife View Post
this site is useless.
are there really knowledgeable people giving free advice as this site claims to, or just judgemental people giving sarcastic opinions?
Who was being sarcastic? You were told the truth. There is NO medical diagnosis called "porn fog" -- you would need to provide HARD COLD MEDICAL evidence that it is an official diagnosis and not just your opinion of what it is. Netspeak doesn't count it.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.


Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.

Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
  #13  
Old 10-21-2008, 03:35 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
Posts: 3,566
Quote:
Perhaps some are in a Porn Fog.
Nah, I gave up my porn fogs 2 years ago. Now, I'm just stuck in a fog created by a 13 year old girl (I'm not convinced both of us will make it until her 18th b-day), and 9 year old girl, a 6 year old girl, and a (OH GAWD!!!!) 4 year old boy.

Really, I have to ask....what the heck is up with boys? I love him, but he's driving me batty. My GIRLS never pulled the stunts he does!
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
  #14  
Old 10-21-2008, 03:37 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: St. Odo of Cluny Parish
Posts: 29,043
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyof4 View Post
...
Really, I have to ask....what the heck is up with boys? I love him, but he's driving me batty. ...


There's nothing wrong with him. He is a true male.
__________________
There are two rules for success:

(1) Never tell everything you know.
  #15  
Old 10-21-2008, 03:50 PM
Senior Member
  
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio via TX
Posts: 3,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by seniorjudge View Post
There's nothing wrong with him. He is a true male.

My point....
__________________
Hook 'em
Quote:
Unless your child is Bobo The Two-Headed Dog-Boy at the county fair, you don't have to pay to see him.
okay so basically I am supposed to look online at each particular state and then get their specific question answered?---kidyivau1
Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Linear Mode
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:23 PM.

Contact Us - FreeAdvice - Archive - Privacy Statement - Top

IMPORTANT NOTICE
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS PAGE WERE NOT REVIEWED BY THE EDITORIAL STAFF OR ATTORNEYS AT FREEADVICE.COM. Thousands of professionally prepared and reviewed questions and answers in 130 legal categories are to be found at the Question and Answer pages at FreeAdvice.com.
FreeAdvice Forums are intended to enable consumers to benefit from the experience of other consumers who have faced similar legal issues. FreeAdvice does NOT vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any posting or the qualifications of any person responding. Use of the Forums is subject to our Terms and Conditions which prohibit advertisements, solicitations or other commercial messages, or false, defamatory, abusive, vulgar, or harassing messages, and subject violators to a fee for each improper posting. All postings reflect the views of the author but become the property of FreeAdvice. Information on FreeAdvice or a Forum should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for advice from an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction who you have retained to represent you. To locate an attorney visit AttorneyPages.com. Copyright since 1995 by Advice Company. All Rights Reserved.