another Helpless victim

[buckeyefan3361]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

This kinda falls under several catagories seperation , childcustody and some others.

Girlfriend of 10 years up and decides out of the blue she dont love me know and i need to get out. Heres the logistics
2 children My name is on both certificates
she gets ssi for some undisclosed mental illness.
I work 40 hrs a week
the way we split the bills are as follows
Her money is guaranteed so hers goes to rent $475
My money pays Everything else Electric gas Grocieries and everything to do with the kids.
She has no license doesn't drive
I also pay the car payment .


Now for whats going on.
She demands that i get out. I actually left for 2 nights and slept in my car by advice of sherriff. I don't really have anywhere to go. She does though
3 weeks ago she disappeared one night for several hours. I later found her behind a store completely out of it . with 2 tall boys and 52 sleeping pills out 72 pack...appearent sucide attempt.
she's banding together with neighbors . I have since moved most of my stuff to the basement and reside there. She's trying to hide my kids at the neighbors on and off to keep them away from me.
When i go to work , Ex ,neighbors and there kids , are down rooting through my stuff. Rooting through my computer files e-mails trying to log in to my Facebook etc. They actually kicked my kid off his school program just to root through my computer. Its home practice program for there standerdized test. My son is 8.
She tried to tell me my son said he didn't want to be around me....my son heard it and immediately stood up and said he didn't. so now she's trying to manipiulate.
Just today she unplugged all the internet and cable wires to my room...which i helped her pay last month.
She leaves my son alone constantly in the house while she takes my daughter next door. She does smoke weed.
Her attention to detail with the kids is Lacking...horribly. She can not cook, meal plan or organize. She is not capable of critical thinking.
Examples" 3 years ago my daughter got a hold of my sons Aderall, She calls me , didn't know how many she took...
My son fell off a 6ft slide at the park....i was about 800yds across the park, she screams for me ...???
She can not teach my kids anything. Son is 8 still can't tie his shoes. Daughter is 5 still in a pull up at night. None of them do chores. none of them consistently brush there teeth. She has absolutely no routine or structure with my kids. Did i mention she is at home all day!!!

Now for me.
She told me the reason she wanted me out because im mean to the kids. I say mean things.
Guilty! I have said some mean things to my kids in anger..mainly names .
We used to whip our kids ....with me to a point where are started getting concerned with my own actions. recognized it , starting going in a different direction. I can't remember the last time whooped em . I Take my kids places and do fun things . Went to Disney world this year , Niagra, Tennessee last year. I take them Science centers, bottom line i do things with my kids.
I am somewhat involved at school. I plan the games for the class holiday parties, read to the kindergarten class , stop in for luanch regularly. Keep close contact with Teachers pricepals and aids. With the start of all this i talked to the guidance counsler and had her talk to my son, so he has an outlet......and i have it documented. My son is smart his seeing mothers lies.
Mom does nothing at the school.
For the most part i have made all important dissecions when it comes to school, Doctors etc.
Mom has a history of sitting on her computer all day and ignoring things.

Just for the record ive never rasied a fist or made a threat to this woman. Yet i've hurt her??lol whatever. And even through all this i've maintained my son respect his mother.

She has band of people that hates me and maintains she has witnesses. Thery're all liars.
I have my sons own words, and the school knows me better than her .

So with all that said . Living situation, possible custody battle. What can i..what should i ..and what will i be able to do? Im literally dealing with some one with the mentality of 16 year old..she's 32. Can i get custody of my children based on this. How can win over my life situation. I have an appoint with an attorney Monday. Don't even know where to start or how to deal with any of this.

 

[LdiJ]

If you have an appointment with an attorney on Monday just be patient and address your question to the attorney.

However...that being said, nothing you have said makes mom unfit from a legal standpoint.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

This kinda falls under several catagories seperation , childcustody and some others.

Girlfriend of 10 years up and decides out of the blue she dont love me know and i need to get out. Heres the logistics
2 children My name is on both certificates
she gets ssi for some undisclosed mental illness.
I work 40 hrs a week
the way we split the bills are as follows
Her money is guaranteed so hers goes to rent $475
My money pays Everything else Electric gas Grocieries and everything to do with the kids.
She has no license doesn't drive
I also pay the car payment .


Now for whats going on.
She demands that i get out. I actually left for 2 nights and slept in my car by advice of sherriff. I don't really have anywhere to go. She does though
3 weeks ago she disappeared one night for several hours. I later found her behind a store completely out of it . with 2 tall boys and 52 sleeping pills out 72 pack...appearent sucide attempt.

3 weeks ago - and I take it you didn't immediately file for custody?

she's banding together with neighbors . I have since moved most of my stuff to the basement and reside there. She's trying to hide my kids at the neighbors on and off to keep them away from me.
When i go to work , Ex ,neighbors and there kids , are down rooting through my stuff. Rooting through my computer files e-mails trying to log in to my Facebook etc. They actually kicked my kid off his school program just to root through my computer. Its home practice program for there standerdized test. My son is 8.

How do you know this?

She tried to tell me my son said he didn't want to be around me....my son heard it and immediately stood up and said he didn't. so now she's trying to manipiulate.
Just today she unplugged all the internet and cable wires to my room...which i helped her pay last month.
She leaves my son alone constantly in the house while she takes my daughter next door. She does smoke weed.

Constantly alone? No. Come on, Dad - don't exaggerate. She's leaving him home for an hour? Couple of hours?

Her attention to detail with the kids is Lacking...horribly. She can not cook, meal plan or organize. She is not capable of critical thinking.
Examples" 3 years ago my daughter got a hold of my sons Aderall, She calls me , didn't know how many she took...
My son fell off a 6ft slide at the park....i was about 800yds across the park, she screams for me ...???
She can not teach my kids anything. Son is 8 still can't tie his shoes. Daughter is 5 still in a pull up at night. None of them do chores. none of them consistently brush there teeth. She has absolutely no routine or structure with my kids. Did i mention she is at home all day!!!

And this was absolutely fine for you right up until... .now.

Now for me.
She told me the reason she wanted me out because im mean to the kids. I say mean things.
Guilty! I have said some mean things to my kids in anger..mainly names .
We used to whip our kids ....with me to a point where are started getting concerned with my own actions. recognized it , starting going in a different direction. I can't remember the last time whooped em . I Take my kids places and do fun things . Went to Disney world this year , Niagra, Tennessee last year. I take them Science centers, bottom line i do things with my kids.

It may be difficult for a disabled parent to take the kids to Niagara Falls. And yes, she's disabled. You've known this for how many years?

I am somewhat involved at school. I plan the games for the class holiday parties, read to the kindergarten class , stop in for luanch regularly. Keep close contact with Teachers pricepals and aids. With the start of all this i talked to the guidance counsler and had her talk to my son, so he has an outlet......and i have it documented. My son is smart his seeing mothers lies.
Mom does nothing at the school.
For the most part i have made all important dissecions when it comes to school, Doctors etc.
Mom has a history of sitting on her computer all day and ignoring things.

I sit at the computer all day long. Sometimes I manage to miss my own meds, let alone comply with the timing of everybody else's requirements.

Just for the record ive never rasied a fist or made a threat to this woman. Yet i've hurt her??lol whatever. And even through all this i've maintained my son respect his mother.

Somehow, I doubt that's working too well.

She has band of people that hates me and maintains she has witnesses. Thery're all liars.
I have my sons own words, and the school knows me better than her .

5 grownups versus a child. You see how that looks?

So with all that said . Living situation, possible custody battle. What can i..what should i ..and what will i be able to do? Im literally dealing with some one with the mentality of 16 year old..she's 32. Can i get custody of my children based on this. How can win over my life situation. I have an appoint with an attorney Monday. Don't even know where to start or how to deal with any of this.

She's got the mentality of a 16 year old, and you've been living with her for 10 years - do you realize what you've just said?

Okay, here's the bottom line.

During an initial custody determination, status quo carries a lot of weight. You work, she doesn't, hence she'll be deemed the primary caregiver and would stand a far greater chance of being the CP.

Nothing you have said here even comes close to her being unfit but I want to point out a couple of things.

You've been living with the children for what, all of their lives up to this point? You say you do everything, and she does nothing. How is it then, that .... this happens on your watch?

She can not teach my kids anything. Son is 8 still can't tie his shoes. Daughter is 5 still in a pull up at night. None of them do chores. none of them consistently brush there teeth. She has absolutely no routine or structure with my kids. Did i mention she is at home all day!!!

Do you understand what I'm saying here?

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to re-emphasize this part:

She can not teach my kids anything. Son is 8 still can't tie his shoes. Daughter is 5 still in a pull up at night. None of them do chores. none of them consistently brush there teeth. She has absolutely no routine or structure with my kids. Did i mention she is at home all day!!!

If your son cannot tie his shoes and your daughter is still in pull ups at night then you are equally at fault. If your children do not do chores and do not consistently brush their teeth then you are equally at fault. Despite the fact that mom is at home with them all day, you were still there as well, and had just as much of an opportunity to address those things as mom did.

However, I could not tie my shoes until I was about 9 and someone finally taught me the alternate method, and my daughter needed pull ups at night until she was almost 7. I still use the alternate method for tying shoes and I am 58 years old. My daughter needed the pull ups because she slept like a rock and simply did not get the "trigger" to wake up until then.

No one can "teach" a child to wake up to the demands of their bladder. It just does not work that way.

 

[Bali Hai]

I've tried to understand what you say.

 

[Proserpina]

I've tried to understand what you say.

That certainly does seem to be a chronic problem you have with this forum.

 

[Bali Hai]

That certainly does seem to be a chronic problem you have with this forum.

Not my problem, but yes, you're correct.

 

[Eekamouse]

Sort of curious. She doesn't drive so why do you think it matters that you make the car payment? You should make the car payment. You are the one driving it.