Any kind of advise is helpful

[SheHasBrokeThe$]

What is the name of your state? WISCONSIN.

I AM WONDERING HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN AND HOW SHE IS GETTING AWAY WITH THIS. TO SUM IT UP IN SHORT FORM, HERE ARE THE FACTS OF THE CASE.

1. I MET MY BOY FRIEND IN DEC 2006. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BREAK UP OF HIS MARRIAGE, WHICH WAS FILED IN 2005.

2. SHE HAS MS. SHE HAS CLEARLY STATED SHE CAN WORK. SHE WILLING LEFT SEVERAL MESSGES ON VM STATING THIS (WHICH WE HAVE SAVED ON CD). ALSO, HAS AN EDUCATION...REAL ESTATE BROKERS LICENSE ECT...

3. HE HAS PRIMARY PLACEMENT OF THE CHILD ON A TEMPORARY ORDER OF COURSE. BECAUSE THEY CAN NOT SEEM TO MAKE IT THROUGH ONE COURT HEARING TO COMPLETE/CONCLUDE ANYTHING IN THE PAST 2 1/2 YEARS, DUE TO HER SHOWING UP WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY NUMEROUS TIMES, BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ONE ATTORNEY TO MAKE IT THROUGH A COURT HEARING. SHE HAS RETAINED 3 ATTORNY'S THUS FAR, AND APPEARS THIS LAST ONE IS NOT WORKING OUT EITHER.

4. HE RECEIVES $0.00 IN CHILD SUPPORT.

5. SHE COLLECTS $400.00 A MONTH ON SSI FOR THE CHILD, AND $800.00 FOR HER DISABILITY AND HAS GOTTEN TO KEEP IT SINCE THE DIVORCE HAS STARTED ON A TEMPORARY ORDER.

6. SHE HAS BURNED UP/CASHED IN, IN EXCESS OF $25, 000 IN LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES, STOCKS AND BONDS ETC...AND WAS COURT ORDERED NOT TO CASH IN ANYTHING FROM THE POINT OF FILING THE DIVORCE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT IS ALL GONE, AND HE HAS RECEIVED $0.00 OF THOSE FUNDS. OOOHH HE GETS THE TAX IMMPLICATIONS OF COURSE.

7. SHE WAS AWARDED THE HOME. 2-STORY, 1600 SQ. FT, 3 BEDROOM, 2 FULL BATHS, 2 CAR GARAGE, FMV=$92,000.00, WHILE HE WAS AWARDED THE MORTGAGE PAYMENT OF $1100.00 PER MONTH ON THE TEMPORARY ORDER.

8. SHE HAS NOT MADE A UTILITY PAYMENT SINCE 2005, AND THE UTILITIES WERE CUT OFF AT APPROX. $1100.00. SHE DID BORROW THE MONEY FROM A FAMILY MEMBER TO PAY A PORTION OF IT, BUT LEFT A BALANCE OF $560.00, WHICH I MIGHT ADD WAS PLACED ON MY BOYFRIENDS ACCOUNT DUE TO NON PAYMENT FROM HER. SO WHEN HE WENT TO MOVE HIM AND HIS SON TO ANOTHER LOCATION, HE COULD NOT GET UTILITIES BECAUSE OF THE UNPAID BALANCE FROM THE HOME SHE HAS LIVED IN.

9. SHE HAS TRIED TO SAB-A-TOSH THE PROCEEDINGS BY TELLING HER ATTORNEY THAT THEY WERE RECONCILING 3-4 TIMES AND OF COURSE THAT PROLONGED ISSUES AS WELL. SHE JUST PULLED THIS ONE AGAIN WITHIN THE PAST 30 DAYS.

10. SHE HAS HAD CUSODY OF ALL MARITAL PROPERTY SINCE THEY FILED, UNTIL SHE SAID (WILLING LEFT ON VM AGAIN), THAT HE COULD HAVE THE HIS STUFF FROM THE GARAGE, AND HE PICKED IT UP AND INSTRUCTED BY HER VM. NOW SHE TOOK HIM TO COURT FOR CONTEMPT OF REMOVING MARITAL PROPERTY. THAT CONTEMPT CHARGE WILL BE HEARD IN THE FINAL DIVORCE COURT HEARING I GUESS.

11. WHEN SHE DOES HAVE VISITATION WITH THE CHILD, THEY FIGHT LIKE TWO KIDS. SHE KICKS HIM OUT OVER AND OVER AGAIN....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

12. MY BOYFRIEND IS WILLING TO DO THE FOLLOWING;
A) PAY HER A LUMP SUM SETTLEMENT OF THE 2ND PROPERTY. VALUE=$30,000.
OR PAY HER RENT UP TO A CAP OF $500.00 PER MONTH, FOR 5 YEARS.
B) JOINT CUSODY, WITH PHYSICAL PLACEMENT WITH HIM.
C) FORGIVE THE LIFE INSURANCE, STOCKS AND BONDS= $25,000 THAT SHE
HAS ALREADY SPENT, AND NOT ON BILLS, ON FOOLISH THINGS LIKE POOLS,
LAWN MOWERS, BIKES, ATTORNEY RETAINERS.....BLAH BLAH BLAH.
D) HE KEEPS HIS RETIRMENT FUNDS=$40,000 TO DATE.

13. SHE HAS ALSO BEEN CHARGED WITH HARRASSMENT, LOST HER LICENCE, DIALS 911 BECAUSE SHE HAS NO MIN. ON HER PHONE. HER PHONE BILLS CURRENTLY ARE OVER $5000.00 SINCE THEY FILED....SHE HAS NEVER PAID THEM TO DATE.

THERE IS MUCH MORE, BUT I WANTED TO SHELL THE SITUATION OUT FOR EASY READING.

CAN ANYONE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A JUDGE OR COURT COMMISSIONER TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE RECENTLY CHANGED HER ADDRESS TO AN INCORRECT ADDRESS IN THE CCAP. SO, IT APPEARS SOMEONE IS SAB-A TOSHING THIS PROCESS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. SHE IS NOT RECEIVING THE COURT PAPERS TO THE CORRECT ADDRESS AND IS HOLDING UP THE PROCESS ONCE AGAIN. HOW CAN THIS CHANGE?, AND WHOM CHANGED IT?

IS THERE AN ATTORNEY WILLING TO STEP UP AND HELP CLOSE THIS 2 1/2 YEAR ON GOING DIVORCE. HOW MUCH MONEY WILL IT TAKE IN ADDITION TO WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SPENT IN COURTS....THE BANK IS NOW CLOSED...HE'S GOT NOTHING LEFT.What is the name of your state?

[LdiJ]

2. SHE HAS MS.

Am I correct is assuming that you mean that she has Multiple Sclerosis? If so, that is a degenerative disease that effects someone both physcially and cognitively. Therefore, everything that you have described is likely due to her disease....and I cannot imagine how she could possibly work.

On top of that she is obviously receiving SSDI (or her son wouldn't also be receiving benefits) which means that the government has decided that she is unable to work. The government also makes it VERY difficult to get SSDI these days.

If this was a long term marriage I doubt that your boyfriend will get out of things as lightly as he hopes to.....and quite frankly, I am not too impressed with you.

[Gracie3787]

If your BF has a court order for Temp custody, he needs to take a CERTIFIED copy to the SS office tommorrow. They can change the payee from the mother to him, although it might not start for one or two months.

Whoever has custody of the child is supposed to be the parent recieving the child's SS benefits. Of course, the mother will be able to retain her own SS benefits.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Gracie3787

If your BF has a court order for Temp custody, he needs to take a CERTIFIED copy to the SS office tommorrow. They can change the payee from the mother to him, although it might not start for one or two months.

Whoever has custody of the child is supposed to be the parent recieving the child's SS benefits. Of course, the mother will be able to retain her own SS benefits.

Gracie, the court has ordered that she retain the child's benefit, for now, under the temporary orders. So he could be in major contempt of court if he did that.

Based on his wife's illness, he REALLY should not do ANYTHING without the blessing of his attorney.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by SheHasBrokeThe$

What is the name of your state? WISCONSIN.

I AM WONDERING HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN AND HOW SHE IS GETTING AWAY WITH THIS. TO SUM IT UP IN SHORT FORM, HERE ARE THE FACTS OF THE CASE.

1. I MET MY BOY FRIEND IN DEC 2006. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BREAK UP OF HIS MARRIAGE, WHICH WAS FILED IN 2005.

2. SHE HAS MS. SHE HAS CLEARLY STATED SHE CAN WORK. SHE WILLING LEFT SEVERAL MESSGES ON VM STATING THIS (WHICH WE HAVE SAVED ON CD). ALSO, HAS AN EDUCATION...REAL ESTATE BROKERS LICENSE ECT...

3. HE HAS PRIMARY PLACEMENT OF THE CHILD ON A TEMPORARY ORDER OF COURSE. BECAUSE THEY CAN NOT SEEM TO MAKE IT THROUGH ONE COURT HEARING TO COMPLETE/CONCLUDE ANYTHING IN THE PAST 2 1/2 YEARS, DUE TO HER SHOWING UP WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY NUMEROUS TIMES, BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET ALONG WITH ONE ATTORNEY TO MAKE IT THROUGH A COURT HEARING. SHE HAS RETAINED 3 ATTORNY'S THUS FAR, AND APPEARS THIS LAST ONE IS NOT WORKING OUT EITHER.

4. HE RECEIVES $0.00 IN CHILD SUPPORT.

5. SHE COLLECTS $400.00 A MONTH ON SSI FOR THE CHILD, AND $800.00 FOR HER DISABILITY AND HAS GOTTEN TO KEEP IT SINCE THE DIVORCE HAS STARTED ON A TEMPORARY ORDER.

6. SHE HAS BURNED UP/CASHED IN, IN EXCESS OF $25, 000 IN LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES, STOCKS AND BONDS ETC...AND WAS COURT ORDERED NOT TO CASH IN ANYTHING FROM THE POINT OF FILING THE DIVORCE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT IS ALL GONE, AND HE HAS RECEIVED $0.00 OF THOSE FUNDS. OOOHH HE GETS THE TAX IMMPLICATIONS OF COURSE.

7. SHE WAS AWARDED THE HOME. 2-STORY, 1600 SQ. FT, 3 BEDROOM, 2 FULL BATHS, 2 CAR GARAGE, FMV=$92,000.00, WHILE HE WAS AWARDED THE MORTGAGE PAYMENT OF $1100.00 PER MONTH ON THE TEMPORARY ORDER.

8. SHE HAS NOT MADE A UTILITY PAYMENT SINCE 2005, AND THE UTILITIES WERE CUT OFF AT APPROX. $1100.00. SHE DID BORROW THE MONEY FROM A FAMILY MEMBER TO PAY A PORTION OF IT, BUT LEFT A BALANCE OF $560.00, WHICH I MIGHT ADD WAS PLACED ON MY BOYFRIENDS ACCOUNT DUE TO NON PAYMENT FROM HER. SO WHEN HE WENT TO MOVE HIM AND HIS SON TO ANOTHER LOCATION, HE COULD NOT GET UTILITIES BECAUSE OF THE UNPAID BALANCE FROM THE HOME SHE HAS LIVED IN.

9. SHE HAS TRIED TO SAB-A-TOSH THE PROCEEDINGS BY TELLING HER ATTORNEY THAT THEY WERE RECONCILING 3-4 TIMES AND OF COURSE THAT PROLONGED ISSUES AS WELL. SHE JUST PULLED THIS ONE AGAIN WITHIN THE PAST 30 DAYS.

10. SHE HAS HAD CUSODY OF ALL MARITAL PROPERTY SINCE THEY FILED, UNTIL SHE SAID (WILLING LEFT ON VM AGAIN), THAT HE COULD HAVE THE HIS STUFF FROM THE GARAGE, AND HE PICKED IT UP AND INSTRUCTED BY HER VM. NOW SHE TOOK HIM TO COURT FOR CONTEMPT OF REMOVING MARITAL PROPERTY. THAT CONTEMPT CHARGE WILL BE HEARD IN THE FINAL DIVORCE COURT HEARING I GUESS.

11. WHEN SHE DOES HAVE VISITATION WITH THE CHILD, THEY FIGHT LIKE TWO KIDS. SHE KICKS HIM OUT OVER AND OVER AGAIN....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

12. MY BOYFRIEND IS WILLING TO DO THE FOLLOWING;
A) PAY HER A LUMP SUM SETTLEMENT OF THE 2ND PROPERTY. VALUE=$30,000.
OR PAY HER RENT UP TO A CAP OF $500.00 PER MONTH, FOR 5 YEARS.
B) JOINT CUSODY, WITH PHYSICAL PLACEMENT WITH HIM.
C) FORGIVE THE LIFE INSURANCE, STOCKS AND BONDS= $25,000 THAT SHE
HAS ALREADY SPENT, AND NOT ON BILLS, ON FOOLISH THINGS LIKE POOLS,
LAWN MOWERS, BIKES, ATTORNEY RETAINERS.....BLAH BLAH BLAH.
D) HE KEEPS HIS RETIRMENT FUNDS=$40,000 TO DATE.

13. SHE HAS ALSO BEEN CHARGED WITH HARRASSMENT, LOST HER LICENCE, DIALS 911 BECAUSE SHE HAS NO MIN. ON HER PHONE. HER PHONE BILLS CURRENTLY ARE OVER $5000.00 SINCE THEY FILED....SHE HAS NEVER PAID THEM TO DATE.

THERE IS MUCH MORE, BUT I WANTED TO SHELL THE SITUATION OUT FOR EASY READING.

CAN ANYONE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A JUDGE OR COURT COMMISSIONER TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE RECENTLY CHANGED HER ADDRESS TO AN INCORRECT ADDRESS IN THE CCAP. SO, IT APPEARS SOMEONE IS SAB-A TOSHING THIS PROCESS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. SHE IS NOT RECEIVING THE COURT PAPERS TO THE CORRECT ADDRESS AND IS HOLDING UP THE PROCESS ONCE AGAIN. HOW CAN THIS CHANGE?, AND WHOM CHANGED IT?

IS THERE AN ATTORNEY WILLING TO STEP UP AND HELP CLOSE THIS 2 1/2 YEAR ON GOING DIVORCE. HOW MUCH MONEY WILL IT TAKE IN ADDITION TO WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SPENT IN COURTS....THE BANK IS NOW CLOSED...HE'S GOT NOTHING LEFT.What is the name of your state?

This will get harder for him before it gets easier.

To quote my first attorney before I fired him, "What can I say Bali? It's a woman's world!!

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Am I correct is assuming that you mean that she has Multiple Sclerosis? If so, that is a degenerative disease that effects someone both physcially and cognitively. Therefore, everything that you have described is likely due to her disease....and I cannot imagine how she could possibly work.

The other side of that is, people fake injuries and self protract diseases all the time to get a free ride. This happens to be a woman in a divorce case so you won't hold her feet to the fire.

On top of that she is obviously receiving SSDI (or her son wouldn't also be receiving benefits) which means that the government has decided that she is unable to work. The government also makes it VERY difficult to get SSDI these days.

If this was a long term marriage I doubt that your boyfriend will get out of things as lightly as he hopes to.....and quite frankly, I am not too impressed with you.

You aren't impressed with her because she sees the BS her friend is going through that you think is perfectly alright.

[fairisfair]

personally, it is the SAB A TOSHING and the ALL CAPS that turned me off.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

You aren't impressed with her because she sees the BS her friend is going through that you think is perfectly alright.

Bali...you have no clue what it takes to get SSDI....its an incredibly long and drawn out process and people routinely get turned down two and three times before finally being approved....and its government doctors who approve them.

If the government agrees that she has MS and has awarded her disability, its NOT a sham. You DO realize that there really ARE people with MS in this country?

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I actually worked with two folks who have MS. Having MS does NOT necessarily mean you cannot work. Now, if she is entering the later phases, it does land up affecting judgment.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Bali...you have no clue what it takes to get SSDI....its an incredibly long and drawn out process and people routinely get turned down two and three times before finally being approved....and its government doctors who approve them.

If the government agrees that she has MS and has awarded her disability, its NOT a sham. You DO realize that there really ARE people with MS in this country?

Well I hate to do it, but I have to agree with you. It is far easier to get a local judge to rule in favor (at the husbands expense) of the "sick" wife than her getting SSDI.

Seems these local judges are a h@ll of a lot smarter than the federal government.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Well I hate to do it, but I have to agree with you. It is far easier to get a local judge to rule in favor (at the husbands expense) of the "sick" wife than her getting SSDI.

Seems these local judges are a h@ll of a lot smarter than the federal government.

So..ok..in this case at least you have to admit that the wife is truly disabled.

I honestly don't believe that someone should be able to divorce a spouse who is truly disabled....at least not without being very financially responsible for the spouse.

My dad has Alzheimers...my mom would never dream of divorcing him, but I can imagine situations where a spouse would want to divorce and "move on". I watch my 73 year old mother dealing with my dad as if he was a child, which he basically is mentally. I see the toll it takes on my mother.

I also have some clients where the wife has Alzheimers, and I see her husband dealing with her the same way that my mother deals with my father. That, to me, is the very essence of "marriage"....the pure selflessness.

I also know of a situation where a man married a US citizen for a green card...it was an "arranged" thing. Yet, when she developed Huntington's shortly after the marriage took place he took responsiblity for her and took care of her until her death....because he believed that was his obligation.

I believe in "in sickness and in health"....so sue me.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ginny J

I actually worked with two folks who have MS. Having MS does NOT necessarily mean you cannot work. Now, if she is entering the later phases, it does land up affecting judgment.

She has been awarded SSDI, therefore she is obviously in the later phases.

[De iure]

What's amazing is not only is she receiving the family benefit for children not living with her but is also , apparently , not ordered to pay child support . So much for child support " being for the children " .

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

She has been awarded SSDI, therefore she is obviously in the later phases.

Wrong. She has been awarded SSDI which means she is disabled but it does nto mean she is in the later phases. You make it sound like she is going to die tomorrow.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Wrong. She has been awarded SSDI which means she is disabled but it does nto mean she is in the later phases. You make it sound like she is going to die tomorrow.

That's not what I meant by "later phases". The person I was responding to said that someone with MS could work unless they were in the later phases....

I was pointing out that since she had been awarded SSDI, that she obviously had to be beyond the ability to work...therefore in the "later phases".