Army Wife With Child Needs Help On Divorce

[gemmy05]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

I'm 21 y/o. I got married when I was 18, and shortly after we had a beautiful baby boy. My son is now 2 years old. My husband just joined the Army in April 2008. Before he left, he constantly cheated on me, and had issues with drugs. When he was going through processing, the Army asked whether or not he had ever done drugs, he lied. In fact, he had just done drugs back in Sept 2007, months before he decided to enlist.

Now, I found out that he's been cheating on me again. I know now that I need a divorce, not only for my sanity but for the sake of my son. I CAN NOT and WILL NOT ever give my soon to be ex-husband the chance of breaking my baby's heart the way he has mine.

I have forgiven him 9 or 10 times of cheating, hitting on other women, dating other women. I forgave me when he left me when I was 4 months pregnant to go see his ex wife(whom he cheated on too). I forgave him for all those times he didn't come home because he was out doing drugs. I forgave him for spending our rent money on drugs. I AM DONE WITH IT.

I need some legal advice on what I should do.

1. Is there any way I can get him in trouble within the Army?

2. We've only been married for 3 years, so is there a way I can get alimony? In Virginia, especially around Fairfax and other major cities, the cost of living is extremely expensive.

3. I would like to still have benefits for both myself and my son through the Army.

4. I want to have full custody with limited visitation and child support.

I need to know what else I can do to help build myself up. I feel so lost and dead inside right now. I want to be strong for my son but every time I look into his beautiful eyes, I start bursting out in tears because I don't understand how someone would want to hurt someone so young and innocent!! Please help soon.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. Is there any way I can get him in trouble within the Army?

Report him to his commander for committing adultery. Realize then that if he gets in trouble he will not be able to provide you with child support.

2. We've only been married for 3 years, so is there a way I can get alimony? In Virginia, especially around Fairfax and other major cities, the cost of living is extremely expensive.

Nope. Not likely. You NEED to get a job.

3. I would like to still have benefits for both myself and my son through the Army.

You will have benefits ONLY until the divorce. He can still cover his son on his benefits however as long as he is in the Army.

4. I want to have full custody with limited visitation and child support.

Keep dreaming. How is dad unfit? Legally, you haven't shown any way in which he is an unsuitable parent but only an unsuitable husband.

I need to know what else I can do to help build myself up. I feel so lost and dead inside right now. I want to be strong for my son but every time I look into his beautiful eyes, I start bursting out in tears because I don't understand how someone would want to hurt someone so young and innocent!! Please help soon.

Your son is NOT hurting. You are hurting. Your son has no idea what is going on. You need to get a job, get an education and move forward with your life and realize that you and your husband are FOREVER bound.