Asking for divorce...he refuses

[wuselino1412]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? florida

I have been married for over three years and have been with my husband for over 5 years. I have been very unhappy for a long time and I have no feelings towards him besides the fact that I don't want anything bad happen to him. I have asked for separation and divorce many times over. He is such a controller when it comes to money that he controls the rental accounts (they are my rentals I had years before we got married). we are both on those accounts and he doesnt take money out but he is better at managing money than me so i never had a problem with him doing so. He also has a savings account but never put my name on it because he said i dont know how to control money and there is a sum of over 15k in there which was mainly possible because we were able to save money hence to the rental income etc. we are both working and he makes maybe $500 more than me a month and we just bought a house six months ago we both live in. He is now at the point where he wants to manage my paycheck too because he says i am not good with money. and he isnt lying about it but if its up to it i can save like anyone else can. We also have a house that is currently empty and that we bought it about three years ago before we got married and lived in it until we bought this new one and only his name is on it because back then i didnt have my green card yet. We only owe about 45k on it and its worth over 100k.
I offered him to separate that he could keep the old house and i wouldnt want any money from it etc and that id take my rentals back and id pay for the new house (we bought with fha so there really isnt any asset to it yet, mainly debt). He refuses to move out and already broke my laptop in his rage (never put a hand on me) but hes threatened to destroy the rentals because hes done work on them and how i would find my pets dead in the backyard. afterwards he said sorry and that he only said it because he was mad at me. I just want him gone and i know since one of my renters is being evicted right now id have a hard time keeping up the new house but he is refusing to let me live in it by myself and wont move to the other one. At this point i need money out of the savings to get them evicted and remodel it and pay taxes until i can rent it out again. he wont just hand me over the money of course. Any advice?

 

[Ohiogal]

So sue him for a divorce. You don't need his permission.

 

[Ohiogal]

My prior advice holds. But...

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? florida

I have been married for over three years and have been with my husband for over 5 years. I have been very unhappy for a long time and I have no feelings towards him besides the fact that I don't want anything bad happen to him. I have asked for separation and divorce many times over.

Quit asking and go to an attorney to file.

He is such a controller when it comes to money that he controls the rental accounts (they are my rentals I had years before we got married).

Where are the rentals located?

we are both on those accounts and he doesnt take money out but he is better at managing money than me so i never had a problem with him doing so. He also has a savings account but never put my name on it because he said i dont know how to control money and there is a sum of over 15k in there which was mainly possible because we were able to save money hence to the rental income etc.

Okay. So any money saved in the last three years is marital property.

we are both working and he makes maybe $500 more than me a month and we just bought a house six months ago we both live in. He is now at the point where he wants to manage my paycheck too because he says i am not good with money. and he isnt lying about it but if its up to it i can save like anyone else can. We also have a house that is currently empty and that we bought it about three years ago before we got married and lived in it until we bought this new one and only his name is on it because back then i didnt have my green card yet.

Yet you were able to purchase rental properties before marriage when you didn't have a green card? Just not a residence? Really?

We only owe about 45k on it and its worth over 100k.

You are entitled to half of the marital portion of the equity.

I offered him to separate that he could keep the old house and i wouldnt want any money from it etc and that id take my rentals back and id pay for the new house (we bought with fha so there really isnt any asset to it yet, mainly debt). He refuses to move out and already broke my laptop in his rage (never put a hand on me) but hes threatened to destroy the rentals because hes done work on them and how i would find my pets dead in the backyard. afterwards he said sorry and that he only said it because he was mad at me.

File for a restraining order (CPO).

I just want him gone and i know since one of my renters is being evicted right now id have a hard time keeping up the new house but he is refusing to let me live in it by myself and wont move to the other one. At this point i need money out of the savings to get them evicted and remodel it and pay taxes until i can rent it out again. he wont just hand me over the money of course. Any advice?

See above but to repeat:
File for a CPO to have him removed from the house due to the threats;
File for a divorce;


Oh, and open a bank account for YOUR paychecks to go into.

 

[stealth2]

YOu don't need his permission to file for divorce. BUT... YOu have already made several mistakes wrt real property, so you realy NEED a lawyer to advise you.

 

[wuselino1412]

thanks

Yes my parents bought me both rentals before I ever moved here. They have two of their own. Thanks for the advice everyone

 

[stealth2]

I have to say that I will never understand women who simply hand everything over to a man, then wring their hands over the result.

 

[wuselino1412]

I am not proud of my mistakes

 

[RRevak]

I have to say that I will never understand women who simply hand everything over to a man, then wring their hands over the result.

A senior poster on here says that if you can't trust your husband to make unilateral decisions for the family (which also included controlling all finances etc), you have no business being with them. You would be VERY surprised to know how many women feel its the mans job to handle and control everything.

 

[single317dad]

A senior poster on here says that if you can't trust your husband to make unilateral decisions for the family (which also included controlling all finances etc), you have no business being with them. You would be VERY surprised to know how many women feel its the mans job to handle and control everything.

Add to that a small percentage of men who allow women that same level of authority. My best friend lets his wife handle everything in their house (he's a long-haul truck driver). She constantly mismanages the money, going so far as to hide legal documents when they get sued by the IRS and debt collectors. She's let his LLC and driving authority lapse, had all three checking accounts seized by the IRS when he was out in Dallas with no fuel, and bought $400 worth of food for her college-aged son but nothing for the fridge in the semi. I gently remind him that all these things are his responsibility too, and if he lets her mess it all up it's his fault as much as hers. He simply doesn't want to be bothered with it.