Awkward question.. putting it delicately.

[NCWife]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina.

I live In North Carolina, wake county.
I have been married legally for 7 years and together with him for 8 years.
We have come to that point in marraige where there is NO affection. No physical contact. We barely speak unless it is to discuss something our child has done, or, not done as the case usually is.
So my question is with the abscence of affection and the physical "duties" of marraige and he having no interest to rekindle that passionate flame. Is this grounds for divorce?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina.

I live In North Carolina, wake county.
I have been married legally for 7 years and together with him for 8 years.
We have come to that point in marraige where there is NO affection. No physical contact. We barely speak unless it is to discuss something our child has done, or, not done as the case usually is.
So my question is with the abscence of affection and the physical "duties" of marraige and he having no interest to rekindle that passionate flame. Is this grounds for divorce?

No, it is not grounds. Howevere, the following are:

(1) Incurable insanity.
(2) Marriages may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, and the plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce has resided in the State for a period of six months.
(3) Abandonment.
(2) Maliciously turning the other out of doors.
(4) Cruel or barbarous treatment that endangers the life of the other.
(5) Offering such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome.
(6) Becoming an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome.
(7) Adultery.

 

[NCWife]

Thank you BelizeBreeze. I appreciate your quick response to my nagging question.

 

[hurtBYliar]

NC Wife, I really don't want to scare you ... I really do feel for you...
I find it very unusual that a man could go a long spell without "physical contact". Are you sure the adultery grounds for divorce wouldn't apply? You might want to read my post by clicking on my username above. After you read my post, consider that I'm still "trying to work things out" with this man after 10.5 years of marriage to this man who has financially driven me crazy for those 10.5 years. However, we are still "affectionate" as we're trying to work this out and had "physical contact" as recently as 1 month ago--despite his lack of supporting me financially he's still interested physically. Also consider that I've experienced the depth of deception that men are capable of and have seen the stone faced lies they're capable of. You may think your husband is just bored but he may be satisfied with you as his homemaker and someone else as his you know what.

NC Wife, you really need to do an assessment of your marriage and maybe read Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue if you can't go to counseling. You might want to work it out whether he's cheating or not. Consider really spicing things up to try to rekindle his interest and make it work. (I'm a bit of a prude myself but I know there are websites and books with advice for pleasing each other that I believe are meant for long term married couples. You both should be able to go after what you want physically.) Keep in mind that men are relationship dummies, they're not as wise as us, not a one of them is perfect, and if they lose interest at home they can't avoid the opportunity/temptation to stray. Sweetie, please keep things in perspective and don't let him tear you apart, boredom's not the worst thing in the world... I'm just urging you to consider your alternatives. Maybe just spicing things up is all you need as I'd give anything for my man to be boring but financially responsible right now! Feel free to email me in a support group kind of way if you'd like: [email protected]. Good luck!