AZ covenant marriage

[hawkinsjm73]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arizona

My husband is preparing to divorce me in favor of another woman. We have been married for close to seven years under a covenant marriage. We have a two year old child and a six month old child. his goal is to pretty much kick me out with my car, the kids, and a very small amount of child support. He has been the primary wage earner throughout, and I have not worked since the kids were born.

I want to fight to have sufficient means to finish my engineering degree (two or three semesters) so I can properly support myself and the kids. I plan to fight the divorce until he offers me a properly equal split of our assets. We still live in the same house and I have comitted neither adultery, a felony, nor any kind of violence. I am expecting him to attempt to file on grounds of emotional abuse. My question then, is if the definition of emotional abuse can be stretched so far as to include such things as not paying suffient attention to a spouse?

Secondly, while I was pregnant with our second child, my husband pressed me to have my tubes tied. I did so, unaware at the time of his involment with another woman and his intentions to divorce me. Might I have a resonable case to sue over this, seperate from the divorce?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arizona

My husband is preparing to divorce me in favor of another woman. We have been married for close to seven years under a covenant marriage. We have a two year old child and a six month old child. his goal is to pretty much kick me out with my car, the kids, and a very small amount of child support. He has been the primary wage earner throughout, and I have not worked since the kids were born.

I want to fight to have sufficient means to finish my engineering degree (two or three semesters) so I can properly support myself and the kids. I plan to fight the divorce until he offers me a properly equal split of our assets. We still live in the same house and I have comitted neither adultery, a felony, nor any kind of violence. I am expecting him to attempt to file on grounds of emotional abuse. My question then, is if the definition of emotional abuse can be stretched so far as to include such things as not paying suffient attention to a spouse?

Secondly, while I was pregnant with our second child, my husband pressed me to have my tubes tied. I did so, unaware at the time of his involment with another woman and his intentions to divorce me. Might I have a resonable case to sue over this, seperate from the divorce?

You will be entitled to half of marital assets. If you have physical custody, you will receive child support on behalf of the kids.

After a 7 year marriage, you will NOT be entitled to spousal support (other than, perhaps, temporary support while the divorce is pending), so you're going to have to come up with money to support yourself and pay for your education (unless your half of marital assets are sufficient to do that).

You will not be able to take action against him for your tubal ligation - unless he held a gun to your head to force you to do it. Even then, it's probably too late.

 

[hawkinsjm73]

My understanding of AZ law was that being a parent caring for young children was one of the conditions for potential spousal support, for a duration of around .3 to .5 times the years of marriage.

 

[mistoffolees]

My understanding of AZ law was that being a parent caring for young children was one of the conditions for potential spousal support, for a duration of around .3 to .5 times the years of marriage.

I did some research and AZ law isn't clear on the matter. While most states (with the exception of CA) require the couple to be married for 10 years for spousal support to apply, I can't find any such requirement in AZ, so she MIGHT be eligible for spousal support, after all.

AZ is unusual in another regard. Usually, spousal support is poorly defined and left entirely to the discretion of the judge. AZ actually has a calculator which can be used to determine appropriate support. The calculator is not binding and some judges don't use it, but it's useful as a starting point, anyway:
Spousal Support

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arizona

My husband is preparing to divorce me in favor of another woman. We have been married for close to seven years under a covenant marriage. We have a two year old child and a six month old child. his goal is to pretty much kick me out with my car, the kids, and a very small amount of child support. He has been the primary wage earner throughout, and I have not worked since the kids were born.

On what grounds is he planning to divorce you? Have you been committing adultery? Have you been sentenced to death or imprisonment for a felony? Have you abandoned the house? Committed sexual or physical or emotional abuse against him? Been living separate and apart for two years? Have you regularly abused drugs and alcohol? Or do you agree with the divorce? I will tell you -- DO NOT agree with the divorce. Child support is set by the state. You would qualify for a limited amount of spousal support.

I want to fight to have sufficient means to finish my engineering degree (two or three semesters) so I can properly support myself and the kids. I plan to fight the divorce until he offers me a properly equal split of our assets. We still live in the same house and I have comitted neither adultery, a felony, nor any kind of violence. I am expecting him to attempt to file on grounds of emotional abuse. My question then, is if the definition of emotional abuse can be stretched so far as to include such things as not paying suffient attention to a spouse?

What kind of emotional abuse is he saying you committed? He would have to prove that.

Secondly, while I was pregnant with our second child, my husband pressed me to have my tubes tied. I did so, unaware at the time of his involment with another woman and his intentions to divorce me. Might I have a resonable case to sue over this, seperate from the divorce?

No. YOu made a decision to have your tubes tied. You COULD have said NO.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did some research and AZ law isn't clear on the matter. While most states (with the exception of CA) require the couple to be married for 10 years for spousal support to apply, I can't find any such requirement in AZ, so she MIGHT be eligible for spousal support, after all.

AZ is unusual in another regard. Usually, spousal support is poorly defined and left entirely to the discretion of the judge. AZ actually has a calculator which can be used to determine appropriate support. The calculator is not binding and some judges don't use it, but it's useful as a starting point, anyway:
Spousal Support

Really? Spousal support is left entirely to the discretion of the judge? You will find that that is not correct. It may seem that way but several states have calculators which determine spousal support.

 

[mistoffolees]

Really? Spousal support is left entirely to the discretion of the judge? You will find that that is not correct. It may seem that way but several states have calculators which determine spousal support.

I'll take your word for it, but every time I've looked for it, I never found one until now.

There's a saying that I've heard many times - that two different judges looking at the same facts would never come up with the same amount of spousal support.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'll take your word for it, but every time I've looked for it, I never found one until now.

There's a saying that I've heard many times - that two different judges looking at the same facts would never come up with the same amount of spousal support.

Google FinPlan.

 

[hawkinsjm73]

On what grounds is he planning to divorce you? Have you been committing adultery? Have you been sentenced to death or imprisonment for a felony? Have you abandoned the house? Committed sexual or physical or emotional abuse against him? Been living separate and apart for two years? Have you regularly abused drugs and alcohol? Or do you agree with the divorce? I will tell you -- DO NOT agree with the divorce. Child support is set by the state. You would qualify for a limited amount of spousal support.



What kind of emotional abuse is he saying you committed? He would have to prove that.


No. YOu made a decision to have your tubes tied. You COULD have said NO.

I have done none of the faultable actions. He hasn't told me what he intends to use for his argument. That is why I wonder about the emotional abuse definition. We have grown very distant, and he might attempt to call that abuse, that my being distant makes the house hostile. It seems very unlikely to work, but I would still have to go defend against it.
I will defintly NOT be agreeing. He'll have to leave for two years to be able to sue for divorce successfully otherwise, giving me the time I need for my degree.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have done none of the faultable actions. He hasn't told me what he intends to use for his argument. That is why I wonder about the emotional abuse definition. We have grown very distant, and he might attempt to call that abuse, that my being distant makes the house hostile. It seems very unlikely to work, but I would still have to go defend against it.
I will defintly NOT be agreeing. He'll have to leave for two years to be able to sue for divorce successfully otherwise, giving me the time I need for my degree.

You being distant? When did that start? After he started screwing everything that moved?

If he files, file with a response that you believe the marriage can be saved and ask for counseling. Because it is a covenant marriage you have a better than average shot of getting the court to order counseling.

 

[hawkinsjm73]

You being distant? When did that start? After he started screwing everything that moved?

If he files, file with a response that you believe the marriage can be saved and ask for counseling. Because it is a covenant marriage you have a better than average shot of getting the court to order counseling.

Yeah, my distance was in response to his distance which, looking back, was probably about the time he started his "adventure."

Another tactic he might use is to file for legal separation under the clause that living together has become unbearable. He could then wait a year and finish the divorce. If he does this, would he be able to force me out of the marital home? Could he be required to leave? The house is in both of our names, and was acquired during the marriage.

 

[xylene]

The bottom line is that you need to get a lawyer on your side before you do anything.

Do not do or sign or agree to ANYTHING without talking to a lawyer.

He 'intends' to divorce you?

Does he have lawyer?
Has he filed any legal papers?

Be proactive and put up a fight.