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Been separated 3 1/2 years - want to finally get divorced!

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ama81781

Junior Member
I live in Johnson County MO, and have been separated from my husband for 3 1/2 years because of domestic violence. We have an almost 5 year old son that we usually agree on the custody arrangements. I have him during the week, he has him on the weekends (sometimes every, sometimes every other) and for the most part I allow him to have our son whenever he asks as long as it does not interfere with school (head start). We both want to be divorced and we both agree that the current situation with custody is what is best for our son. Where the problem comes into play is that he refuses to sign divorce papers and make this an uncontested divorce because he does not want to pay child support. He does not have a job, and therefore has no insurance for our son and I cannot afford it myself and he qualifies for and is on Missouri state medical. I have been informed that a. no judge will grant the divorce without child support being ordered and b. that if the issue was pushed and it was granted in that manner I would lose insurance on my son! I have moved on and am not looking at getting married again anytime soon but would still prefer to be divorced in case that should come up and honestly if I am in an accident he is considered my next of kin and that is a bit scary! I am stuck! I do not have the money to get an attorney because this is considered contested and that is outrageously priced, but I am not sure where to go from here. The abuse was too long ago so I do not qualify for legal aid. I have downloaded all the papers and am getting ready to go to the parenting class that is required by my local law but I am not sure if I can file without an attorney in this situation. All I know is that I really need to get divorced but can't afford an arm and a leg, I am a single mom of two boys (one from a previous marriage)! Can anyone give me advice as to what route I can take from here?!?!?!??!?!?!:confused::confused::confused:
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
You don't need an attorney to file, and if you're low income you can usually waive the filing fees.

Dad must understand that whether or not he wants to, he will probably be paying child support. And frankly, doing this through the courts protects BOTH of you :)

Go here and have a look at what help is available to you:

http://www.selfrepresent.mo.gov/page.jsp?id=5240
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You don't need an attorney to file, and if you're low income you can usually waive the filing fees.

Dad must understand that whether or not he wants to, he will probably be paying child support. And frankly, doing this through the courts protects BOTH of you :)

Go here and have a look at what help is available to you:

http://www.selfrepresent.mo.gov/page.jsp?id=5240
I agree. I will also add that him being ordered to pay child support or provide medical insurance will NOT make the child's medicaid go away...not as long as he is unemployed and not able to provide medical insurance through an employer.
 

ama81781

Junior Member
Thank you for your responses. I just wanted to clarify that I was told that if there was NOT an order for child support, like if I signed some sort of agreement that said he does not have to pay child support then they would take his medical away. That is what he wants to do, he wants to put in the papers that we share custody 50/50 so that neither of us has to pay support and since I have him the majority of the time (the last 3 months he has only seen him for the holidays) I refuse to do that. I am the one completely supporting our son and then to have to pay medical on top of that, no way! I want divorced but not that bad! I am not by any means a money grubbing person, I just don't think that is fair! The state has already ordered him to pay $253 a month based on his last known job because my son is on medical they have already gone after him even though we are not divorced. I want the divorce papers to basically state that that amount remains the same unless the state decides otherwise. Since I do not have an attorney I don't want to mess with that. All of our property has already been divided and the state guidelines for child custody (with a few minor tweaks) is what I was planning on going off of.

If I file without an attorney and he comes to court with one, will they make me get one?
 

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