Can anything be done?

[ICUB4ER]

What is the name of your state? Kansas
My STBX is continuing his affair with my married ex-best friend in front of our children. Our daughters are 10 and 13, and are now refusing to go visit him. The temp order states "reasonable visitation". When he has the girls, he wakes them at 5:30am to go to girlfriends house as soon as her husband leaves for work. He yells at them if they don't get up and showered fast enough. The only time they aren't at girlfriends house is when they go back to his place around midnight, just before her husband gets home from work. They are hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, etc in front of the girls. He never spends any time alone with the girls, girlfriend and her 4 kids are always with them. He takes our girls, girlfriend and her 4 kids shopping, buy things for girlfriend and her kids and refuses to buy our girls anything. He has yet to pay a dime of the child support that was ordered in October. Girlfriend has even shown and discussed her adult toys with the 13 yr old. He bought the girls a 4-wheeler for Christmas and then told them that since they have chosen to live with me, that he had given it to girlfriends kids. The girlfriend is always yelling at the girls and being mean to them and he stands there and doesn't intervene...according to them. There hasn't been a single time that they haven't walked through the door not crying because they have been treated badly while with him. they have told him that they do not like his girlfriend and that she's mean to them and they don't want to be around her, but he forces them to. The 13 yr old even told him that he was cheating because he and I are still married, and so is his girlfriend. He told her "so what". He is even leaving them alone with her during his visits while he goes out running errands for her, but he takes her kids with him. Girlfriend threw one of the 10 yr olds Christmas gifts in the garbage 2 days after Christmas because "it didn't suite the 10 yr old". Girlfriend constantly makes harrassing, filthy phone calls to my home, and just last week sent the police out to "check the welfare" of the children.
What, if anything can I do to keep girlfriend away from the girls? Right now, both girls are flat refusing to go anywhere with him because girlfriend will be there and is mean and nasty to them and he lets it happen. Once visitation is set, they will have no choice but to go and I will have to make them go. But, how do I protect my girls from the "emotional abuse"? that's going on?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Kansas
My STBX is continuing his affair with my married ex-best friend in front of our children. Our daughters are 10 and 13, and are now refusing to go visit him. The temp order states "reasonable visitation". When he has the girls, he wakes them at 5:30am to go to girlfriends house as soon as her husband leaves for work. He yells at them if they don't get up and showered fast enough. The only time they aren't at girlfriends house is when they go back to his place around midnight, just before her husband gets home from work. They are hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, etc in front of the girls. He never spends any time alone with the girls, girlfriend and her 4 kids are always with them. He takes our girls, girlfriend and her 4 kids shopping, buy things for girlfriend and her kids and refuses to buy our girls anything. He has yet to pay a dime of the child support that was ordered in October. Girlfriend has even shown and discussed her adult toys with the 13 yr old. He bought the girls a 4-wheeler for Christmas and then told them that since they have chosen to live with me, that he had given it to girlfriends kids. The girlfriend is always yelling at the girls and being mean to them and he stands there and doesn't intervene...according to them. There hasn't been a single time that they haven't walked through the door not crying because they have been treated badly while with him. they have told him that they do not like his girlfriend and that she's mean to them and they don't want to be around her, but he forces them to. The 13 yr old even told him that he was cheating because he and I are still married, and so is his girlfriend. He told her "so what". He is even leaving them alone with her during his visits while he goes out running errands for her, but he takes her kids with him. Girlfriend threw one of the 10 yr olds Christmas gifts in the garbage 2 days after Christmas because "it didn't suite the 10 yr old". Girlfriend constantly makes harrassing, filthy phone calls to my home, and just last week sent the police out to "check the welfare" of the children.
What, if anything can I do to keep girlfriend away from the girls? Right now, both girls are flat refusing to go anywhere with him because girlfriend will be there and is mean and nasty to them and he lets it happen. Once visitation is set, they will have no choice but to go and I will have to make them go. But, how do I protect my girls from the "emotional abuse"? that's going on?

About the only thing that you can do for the girls is counseling. That would help give them the mechanisms to cope with the situation.

You are right, once visitation is set the girls will have to go. They won't have any choice.

This situation is so sad. Divorce is hard enough on kids.

 

[Nocgirl]

Block the girlfriend from calling you. Screen all your calls, eventually when you stop talking to her she will finally get the hint.

Your ex is a lousy father to be exposing the kids to all the garbage. Unfortunately the girls are too young to make decisions on whether or not they want to see him.

Do you have an attorney? normally he is free to do whatever he wants in his personal life, however a judge may frown upon his actions. You are going to have a hard time barring his girlfriend from being around the kids. You would need a really good, shark of an attorney to pull that off. You can file for full custody and try to limit visitation to EOW, if the girls have truly expressed they don't want to be around her.

"reasonable visitation" does not mean anytime he wants. If you are the custodial parent you can try to limit the visits to EOW.

In the meantime, just try to be the best parent you can. Your STBX is digging his own hole. In a couple years when the girls are old enough exptres their opinion in court, you may be able to stop visitation. He is ruining his relationship with the girls.