• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

can background check, SS# be required of new gf?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

babyj75

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I'm trying to help two friends of mine. A classmate Scott found out his wife Tammy was cheating with her boss in our very small town and he started divorce proceedings. Many people includiing myself knew because the affair was very public. Months later, he reconnected with his high school sweetheart and discovered that after all of these years, they want to pursue a relationship. The soon-to-be ex-wife lives in the couple's home with the children and Scott pays the bills as the court directed. Tammy has the man she cheated with living with her and she still works for him. Yet she was furious to learn that Scott was beginning a relationship with the old girlfriend, Paula. She has kept the kids from him and left the state with the children for vacations when he was scheduled to have them.
Scott received paperwork yesterday from Tammy's attorney that requested the SS number, address, list of medications, history of mental health therapy, of Paula. It said that a background check would also be performed on Paula. Now Paula, who is one of my best friends and also an old classmate of mine, is very distraught. Although she has nothing to hide, she feels this is a total invasion of her privacy. It this legal? Is it standard practice? Does Scott have to cooperate and what happens if he doesn't comply?
Scott's attorney reviewed the request and forwarded it on to him in the mail with the instructions to write the answers on a separate sheet of paper. Scott has had a terrible time getting his attorney to return calls and the court date when the information is being requested is very soon. Also, Scotts's attorney has not followed up with an identical request for Tammy's new live-in who is reported to have a criminal history which caused him to be discharged from the military. Any advice will be very appreciated!
 


JETX

Senior Member
It this legal?
Answer deleted!!

Is it standard practice?
Answer deleted!!

Does Scott have to cooperate and what happens if he doesn't comply?
Answer deleted!!

Scott's attorney reviewed the request
Wait a minute!!!! Are you telling us you are asking us (who know NOTHING about the specifics) to challenge the opinion of another attorney (who presumably has ALL the facts).
I have gone back and edited my responses.... based on your late 'admission'....
 
Last edited:

HomeGuru

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

I'm trying to help two friends of mine. A classmate Scott found out his wife Tammy was cheating with her boss in our very small town and he started divorce proceedings. Many people includiing myself knew because the affair was very public. Months later, he reconnected with his high school sweetheart and discovered that after all of these years, they want to pursue a relationship. The soon-to-be ex-wife lives in the couple's home with the children and Scott pays the bills as the court directed. Tammy has the man she cheated with living with her and she still works for him. Yet she was furious to learn that Scott was beginning a relationship with the old girlfriend, Paula. She has kept the kids from him and left the state with the children for vacations when he was scheduled to have them.
Scott received paperwork yesterday from Tammy's attorney that requested the SS number, address, list of medications, history of mental health therapy, of Paula. It said that a background check would also be performed on Paula. Now Paula, who is one of my best friends and also an old classmate of mine, is very distraught. Although she has nothing to hide, she feels this is a total invasion of her privacy. It this legal? Is it standard practice? Does Scott have to cooperate and what happens if he doesn't comply?
Scott's attorney reviewed the request and forwarded it on to him in the mail with the instructions to write the answers on a separate sheet of paper. Scott has had a terrible time getting his attorney to return calls and the court date when the information is being requested is very soon. Also, Scotts's attorney has not followed up with an identical request for Tammy's new live-in who is reported to have a criminal history which caused him to be discharged from the military. Any advice will be very appreciated!

**A: Scott has more problems than you know.
 

babyj75

Junior Member
Answer deleted!!


Answer deleted!!


Answer deleted!!


Wait a minute!!!! Are you telling us you are asking us (who know NOTHING about the specifics) to challenge the opinion of another attorney (who presumably has ALL the facts).
I have gone back and edited
my responses.... based on your late 'admission'....
[/I]



I apologize. You can move the "late admission" to the beginning if you like. I'm not asking anyone to challenge the attorney's opinion. I think the likelihood that Scott will get to speak to his attorney before the hearing where the information is requested is slim, thus the frantic effort to obtain advice.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I apologize. You can move the "late admission" to the beginning if you like. I'm not asking anyone to challenge the attorney's opinion. I think the likelihood that Scott will get to speak to his attorney before the hearing where the information is requested is slim, thus the frantic effort to obtain advice.
Then scott needs a new attorney.
 

Farfalla

Member
babyj75,

It's not unusual for a person who is cheating on their spouse, even if doing so openly and living with their paramour, to get very upset if their spouse dares to cheat on them. And Scott is technically cheating on his adulterous wife if he's sleeping with Paula.

If Scott wants a simpler life and a much smoother divorce he should put off dating Paula (and not cheat on his wife) until the divorce is final. If he does that, than his response to the info request is that he is not seeing her and is not privy to the information being requested. Surely they can wait a while to date.

Now about Scott's attorney, he if will not act quickly and respond in kind, than Scott does indeed need a new attorney who is looking out for his interests.
 
Last edited:

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Scott received paperwork yesterday from Tammy's attorney that requested the SS number, address, list of medications, history of mental health therapy, of Paula. It said that a background check would also be performed on Paula. Now Paula, who is one of my best friends and also an old classmate of mine, is very distraught. Although she has nothing to hide, she feels this is a total invasion of her privacy. It this legal? Is it standard practice? Does Scott have to cooperate and what happens if he doesn't comply?
Bottom line is that Scott has to obey all judicial orders. If the request is from the stbx's attorney without a court order, Scott should ask his attorney why he has to fill it in.

If his attorney says he needs to do it, then he should do it.

But the easier solution would be for Scott to not commit adultery - even if his stbx does it.
 
no

i personally WOULD NOT just give my ss# and info out like that..... Scott can say that she refuses to give it and therefore he does not know it, also maybe he should just not date her until the divorce is final.... and Scott needs a new lawyer
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
i personally WOULD NOT just give my ss# and info out like that..... Scott can say that she refuses to give it and therefore he does not know it, also maybe he should just not date her until the divorce is final.... and Scott needs a new lawyer
Do not EVERY tell an OP to lie. You are really pushing it here. One more ANYTHING and I'm reporting you to admin.
 

happybug

Member
Do not EVERY tell an OP to lie. You are really pushing it here. One more ANYTHING and I'm reporting you to admin.
I am curious. How would this be a lie? I am not trying to be snarky, I just don't understand. Scott's wife's lawyer asked HIM to provide his mistress' SSN. Unless he has it handy, which would surprise me. I have never known anyone in a dating relationship who exchanged SSNs. Then HE doesn't know what her SSN is. He could ASK her to provide it, but I don't see how he could FORCE her to. So, if he answered that he doesn't know his mistress' SSN, where is the lie?
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Scott can say that she refuses to give it
Not a problem if Paula actually refuses to give the information. But if you read her statement in context, she's just saying for Scott to just say that. We NEVER advise ANY poster to lie.

the other part of this story is that I was busy correcting another post of hers too. It makes it difficult to chase these types of posters. If other people come along and use the SEARCH feature, like we encourage posters to use, then it may come across as we advise people to lie. There may be misinformation in there.
 
Take A Chill Pill Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is simply advise which is what the poster asked for and i gave mine, if you dont like it, i simply dont care! i wasnt giving you the advice. you are very up tight and maybe get a life
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
it is simply advise which is what the poster asked for and i gave mine, if you dont like it, i simply dont care! i wasnt giving you the advice. you are very up tight and maybe get a life
Take A Chill Pill Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is that your legal advice? Oh, and we give ADVICE here, not advise. Learn the difference between a noun and a verb.

Maybe you should get a high school diploma if you don't know the difference.....
 
oh my GOD

I spelled one word wrong MR PERFECT!!!!! this web site is worse than the military. Wait let me proof read this before i send it <----- look I didn't capitalize my "i".
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top